Still debating...

Nancy1250 · December 2013

I have an appointment with the OB+midwife+doula that would do my homebirth. However, I found out that a nearby hospital has a suite that allows you there from beginning to end. No need to leave the suite until after you give birth. Plus, they have neonatal care.

I am now considering a natural birth at this hospital.

I'm talking to Dr about it today. I hope he is open to it and will get permission to deliver my baby there.

I don't know why I'm getting nervous all of a sudden.

DH supports either decision, he is though convince about HB.

Please, I would love to hear your thoughts, reassurance, questions, opinions.

I appreciate all of your wisdom.
Off to get dressed for Dr

barista411 · December 2013

I think it is really about what you are more comfortable with. If you would feel more comfortable and relaxed at home, a home birth is probably your best option. If you have a great medical team that is dedicated to helping you a achieve a natural birth and you want the comfort of having NICU and other medical options available, a hospital birth could be a great option. I don't think you can wrong either way, you just have to do what is best for you.

lrj85 · December 2013

I agree with PP it all depends where you are the most comfortable for me its at home...

sschwege · December 2013

I think you are the only one who can really answer that question.

DH and I chose a hospital birth because we were fortunate enough to be at a hospital that is known for being low-intervention. They didn't even offer a saline lock to me, if that tells you anything. If we did not have this hospital I know we would have considered a HB with our second.

It is nice to not have to worry about transferring if something didn't go as planned, but at the same time perhaps that is part of the problem. With my second they took him from me almost immediately because they didn't like his breathing. He had to stay in the Special Care Nursery for a day and a half. I often wonder if they were just covering their own backsides or if he was really having as much trouble as they seemed to be claiming, like if we had been at home would they have transferred him? Obviously I will never have an answer to that.

Even still with all of that when we get pregnant with our third we will be returning to our hospital.

HannahsHope · December 2013

Agreed with all PP. If you're not comfortable, your birth wont be either. Go based on what your comfort level is.

catsinawindow · December 2013

bromios said:

I don't think that the birth experience should be about anything besides the result: healthy mom and healthy baby. Compared to that, comfort is a small consideration. It's great that your hospital has a room that would make the experience feel less like a medical procedure. Use it. Because even a normal pregnancy can turn into a life-threatening delivery for mother and/or child very quickly, and if you are in the hospital, they can do something about that. I have seen so many full-term babies go through the NICU who needed to be resuscitated right after birth and had shown no signs of distress that could be detected without medical monitoring. I understand how a home birth sounds appealing, but the reality is that nothing is more important than giving yourself and your baby the best chance of living through the birth experience. I know people are sometimes afraid of feeling pressured into having c-sections, nurses being mean, etc., but none of those things are as upsetting as dying or having your baby die because they couldn't receive immediate medical care. Go drug-free, use a birthing tub or whatever, but do it in a hospital!

This statement can be very hurtful for some women who had difficult birth experiences. Of course we know that a healthy mom and baby is the #1 priority, but by suggesting that it should be the ONLY priority, you are discounting the very real emotions that many women have when their births do not go as planned.

As for hospital vs. out of hospital births, you have some big misconceptions about the safety of out of hospital birth and the life-saving medical interventions available to midwives outside of a hospital setting. I realize that you had a difficult and life-threatening birth, and it WAS great that you were in a hospital. However, many studies have shown that, statistically, out-of-hospital birth is just as safe for low-risk moms and babies. No one here is putting their babies at risk by choosing out of hospital birth overseen by a trained MW.

OP - I'm sorry to get off topic here. I agree with PP that you should choose wherever you feel most comfortable. How wonderful that you have these great options!

kboydbowman · December 2013

Not to start a war, but actually, for low-risk births home birth or birthing center birth is actually *safer* for both the mother and baby (and yes, there are credible published studies supporting this). Naturally if you choose a non-hospital birth you should make sure that there is a hospital nearby to which you can transfer rapidly if need be, but the "bled to death" thing is the rarity, not the rule. Also, I wonder if some of the medical interventions those friends were subjected to in the hospital may have resulted in the excess bleeding. The pit/epidural combo creates stronger contractions and increases the risk of things ripping/tearing.

catsinawindow · December 2013

catsinawindow · December 2013

bromios said:

lisagde said:

bromios said:

I don't think that the birth experience should be about anything besides the result: healthy mom and healthy baby. Compared to that, comfort is a small consideration. It's great that your hospital has a room that would make the experience feel less like a medical procedure. Use it. Because even a normal pregnancy can turn into a life-threatening delivery for mother and/or child very quickly, and if you are in the hospital, they can do something about that. I have seen so many full-term babies go through the NICU who needed to be resuscitated right after birth and had shown no signs of distress that could be detected without medical monitoring. I understand how a home birth sounds appealing, but the reality is that nothing is more important than giving yourself and your baby the best chance of living through the birth experience. I know people are sometimes afraid of feeling pressured into having c-sections, nurses being mean, etc., but none of those things are as upsetting as dying or having your baby die because they couldn't receive immediate medical care. Go drug-free, use a birthing tub or whatever, but do it in a hospital!

This statement can be very hurtful for some women who had difficult birth experiences. Of course we know that a healthy mom and baby is the #1 priority, but by suggesting that it should be the ONLY priority, you are discounting the very real emotions that many women have when their births do not go as planned.
Sorry, but you picked the wrong mama to throw this nonsense at. I know intimately how upsetting it is when births do not go as planned. I went into labor three times over the course of eleven days, each time dosed up on mag (which is liquid hell) to protect my babies' brains. Mag reduces the risk of cerebral palsy in premature infants from something like a 5% chance to a 2% chance. 5% is still very small, but if I had to spend a total of 72 hours on a drug that made me so sick I couldn't even drink water to knock that risk down to 2%, I was damn well going to do it for my babies. In my case, the mag probably also helped stop the labor, but it doesn't have that effect on everyone by any means, and that wasn't what the docs were administering it for. Everything about my delivery process was horrible, painful, and deeply traumatic. But you know what? I have two perfectly healthy babies (born at 29 wks 6 days) and if they hadn't ended up perfectly healthy, I would know that I did everything I possibly could for them. Compared to that, the hell I went through is irrelevant. That's not to say that trauma (and it is trauma) doesn't deserve attention and care after the fact, but I will never regret going through it to give my babies a 98% chance of not having CP rather than a 95% chance. I know that a mother looking at a premature twin delivery would never do a home birth, but my point is that babies are worth the extra pain and discomfort and trauma to have as safe a delivery as possible, whatever the circumstances. Most births are uneventful, but it is not by any means possible to be sure until the delivery is over. I would never take that chance and I don't understand why other women do. Also, if your studies include home births in other countries, bear in mind that the US has one of the most lax systems of certification for midwives of any developed country, so the level of expertise you'd be dealing with is extremely variable. And no midwife can perform an emergency c-section at home if it turns out that the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck or there is some other situation that would require one. There is so much about labor that we do not fully understand, but in a hospital they can do much more effective and extensive damage control. So yeah, I think that unless all other factors are 100% equal, the comfort of the mother is negligible. Also, bleeding to death (which can happen with singleton pregnancies too) probably wouldn't be too comfortable for the mother. Five of my friends who had normal, healthy pregnancies would definitely have bled to death following delivery if they hadn't been in the hospital.

Gosh, I hate to derail this thread even more, but I just need to comment on this.

With my son, I was induced due to pre-eclampsia. I too was on magnesium sulfate. I too had a post-partum hemorrhage. My birth belonged in a hospital. Yours did too. If either of us were under the care of a MW, we would have been transferred to a hospital in our situations.

For this birth, I am planning to birth at a freestanding birth center with MWs. They asked me to have a consult with MFM to make sure that I am a good candidate based on my history. MFM confirmed that I am an excellent candidate for out-of-hosptial birth as long as I remain low risk. All of the interventions used to stop my PPH are available to the MWs at my birth center. if I develop PreE again I will be transferred to the hospital.

Statistically, by birthing at the birth center as a low risk patient, I am lowering my chance of a c-section, premature delivery, and surgical vaginal delivery. All of these have very real risks. So , yes, I am choosing the option that I believe is safest for me and my baby.

mavgirl_73 · December 2013

@bromios I've read your story now on two threads now. Due to your premature labor alone would have ruled out a homebirth for you. End of story. To compare your experience to someone whose not had premature labor, whose not had any complications, whose researched her midwife/care provider is simply ridiculous. Again, homebirth IS NOT for every pregnancy but honestly you're comparing very different scenarios and trying to put them on the same field.

mavgirl_73 · December 2013

@bromios are you a NICU nurse?

Ardmhs83 · December 2013

bromios said:

I don't think that the birth experience should be about anything besides the result: healthy mom and healthy baby. Compared to that, comfort is a small consideration. It's great that your hospital has a room that would make the experience feel less like a medical procedure. Use it. Because even a normal pregnancy can turn into a life-threatening delivery for mother and/or child very quickly, and if you are in the hospital, they can do something about that. I have seen so many full-term babies go through the NICU who needed to be resuscitated right after birth and had shown no signs of distress that could be detected without medical monitoring. I understand how a home birth sounds appealing, but the reality is that nothing is more important than giving yourself and your baby the best chance of living through the birth experience. I know people are sometimes afraid of feeling pressured into having c-sections, nurses being mean, etc., but none of those things are as upsetting as dying or having your baby die because they couldn't receive immediate medical care. Go drug-free, use a birthing tub or whatever, but do it in a hospital!

Tell this to me again?!? So not true! Everyone always says, "as long as everyone is healthy." I'm very thankful that my child and I were physically healthy, but I was not mentally healthy at all. Saying this to someone who had an unwanted c-section and had horrible (suicidal thoughts) PPD/PPA is rude and hurtful! You talk about your experiences and how you know about this stuff, but you don't know anything about my situation at all.

If mom is healthy and baby is healthy and they want a midwife to deliver their baby at home, then it can be a healthy decision. I would def. do it next time if it wasn't a VBAC situation, which does make things scarier for me.

How you feel about your birth does matter...A LOT! It plays a huge role in your postpartum and mental health. My birth experience still pains me and I pray and dream about a natural VBAC next time! I know it can be really healing.

mavgirl_73 · December 2013

@bromios-I appreciate your response however having neonatologist as friends do not give you the background to make "educated" claims to the safety of homebirths. I can respect that you are a mom of nicu babies. It's so hard on families but to be fair your opinion is extremely colored. I feel like you put a lot of very on sided information out there but are neglectful to represent the other side. I completely understand that you feel you have enough knowledge and experience due to your acquaintances (which most doctors, even if they wanted to say that homebirths were safe wouldn't because of how they are trained and liability purposes) and your singular experience but from an educated and logical standpoint you're not well trained enough to make more than an opinion. Also although I don't think you intended to but you put forth that you have more education and experience which is offensive to those of us who do. Of course this is a public forum so each of us is able to say what we'd like.

Ardmhs83 · December 2013

@bromios Yes, I consented to the c-section. It wasn't a total emergency, but it wasn't scheduled for that day. My son was also breech and nobody ever talked to me about breech vaginal delivery. I went in with contractions when I was only 38 weeks and the doctor decided to deliver me that night instead of my scheduled date because he was still breech. The surgery/delivery went fine, everyone was healthy at the end, no problems. Mentally...not so much. I prayed and prayed he would turn and was soooo freaked out about the c/s. My doctor denied me a version and I was a FTM and just followed exactly what the doctor said. I didn't even do much to try to turn him. I was just kind of dumb about it...like I said FTM. I hated the surgery! I had a vision of delivering my baby vaginally, doing skin to skin and being the first to hold him and change his diapers and nurse him right away. None of that happened and it was devastating for me. Yes, I was thankful we were all physically healthy, but this is not the experienced I wanted or ever want again.

Like I said...considering my experience, I'd have a home birth the next time if it wasn't a VBAC situation. I'll do anything (as long as everyone is healthy) to avoid any unnecessary medical interventions that would put me into the OR again.

I did take meds and see a therapist/psychiatrist for my PPD/PPA. I nursed my son for 9 months before I gave up because of this. I want to avoid anything that could strain that relationship as well. It is very important to me and I need to be physically and mentally healthy this time. I think a better birth experience would help me. I still feel cheated by the c/s and it really pushes my buttons when I read or hear people say, "I didn't do anything, just laid there!" RUDE

I'm sorry that you also went through the experience you went through as well, I'm sure it was awful. I'm also sorry you went through PPD too. It is terrible and def. no joke. I just really want you to understand that your opinion isn't going to change our minds on this board. While I do agree that a totally unassisted birth is pushing the limits, I don't think home birth is near the same, at all. Trained midwives deliver at hospitals so they know how to deliver and make good decisions for mom and baby at home. Most home births take place close to a hospital too, so the transport can be very fast. I know it is hard to understand home birth b/c of your situation, but not all situations are like yours. Please be kind and respectful to all moms and our different stories.

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