February 2014 Moms

Life changes after baby

I teach kindergarten and I am at school ALOT! Too much I'll admit! I go to work early by 7/715 and I don't usually leave until around 5. I know that once my daughter is born, everything will change. But I am starting to worry about finding that balance between home and work. I work in Massachusetts and there are so many new things being required of us on top of just teaching the students. I don't want my work to suffer, but I also know I will want to give 100% of my attention to my family. How have other teachers (or people with demanding jobs) dealt with this?

Re: Life changes after baby

  • You basically choose to not let work run your life and also become efficient or do work when LO is sleeping. My son is older now (I have a second on the way) so he wakes up at 7 and goes to bed by 7. I wake up at 6:30 and get him ready, hang out with him and then go to work. I think pick LO up at 4:30 and do not do any work (unless I absolutely have to) until he goes to bed after bedtime. So I will get stuff done for an hour or two if need be but at this point I have gotten very efficient at work. 

    Don't worry if you feel overwhelmed at first, lack of sleep and becoming a new mom can seem daunting but eventually you will get into a groove. Also ask for help in  things you can. Good luck and congrats
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  • I am finding it a little hard to give you advice as there are just so many factors to how you will find balance.

    I typically work 12 hour days but at the same time I work with a lot of moms who juggle between work and home and work those long hours. Each persons situation is different. Some have more disposable income to afford a nanny, some have support from spouses or parent, Some take on new careers etc. I also know women who can't wait to get beck to work after the initial few weeks with the baby.

    Are there other teachers in your school that have kids? Perhaps a conversation with them might help? Also sometimes there are career based women's groups that help out . Not sure about teachers but for instance I work in finance and there are tons of women in finance groups that provide resources for working moms. I would encourage you to look into a local support group like that which might help you see how other women in your profession have managed work/home balance.

    I think it's just hard as a working woman especially during those initial stages after giving birth but honestly in today's day and age almost all kinds of careers have opened up opportunities for women to manage both and we see that everyday. So don't worry too much- and hopefully you will figure it out in due time.
  • I understand where you're coming from as I am a teacher too. I teach 3rd. I arrive at 730 and don't leave until at least 5. I know this needs to change but not sure how. Its overwheling :(

    As of now I don't do a lot of work on the weekends. I'm going back around April so I'm preparing to spend some time at school on weekends while baby naps or hubby watches him. I am hoping to plan ahead this summer for next year and pop in when I can to prep for the year ahead.

    I have found that unit outlines that are fairly detailed have helped me. As I teach a unit (for example "plants") I type out the lessons and work we do each day as we go almost like a sub plan. Next year, this will be a great resource and also a great sub plan if need be! I'm slowly doing this for each unit I teach and putting them into binders for each subject area. It's time consuming but id rather do it now with no one around by me and hubby.

    I don't think we can really prepare. As teachers so much comes up on the day to day with students, parents, meetings etc. that its hard to factor that in. I agree with others about talking to a coworker who has children. I plan on doing more of that this month.

    One thing a coworker did tell me she does is "schedule" her prep times. I find myself checking my mailbox and wandering during prep so I want to use that more efficiently. She has a checklist for each prep and follows that to a T. For example her weekly newsletter is scheduled in there on a specific day and prep as well as prepping each subject for the next week on different days. She checks her mailbox only on the way in and out of school and lunch and doesn't wander to the lounge much. All things I'm guilty of. Sounds simple enough and would definitely help me save time.

    Good luck :)
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  • iwubroryiwubrory member
    edited December 2013
    I'm a 2/3 teacher. DH takes DS to MIL's every morning so I go to work early. I'm usually there by 6:30 (school starts at 8) and eat while I work during lunch. I just bust my butt and make sure I'm super efficient. Since DS was born I refuse to stay late after school. I leave right away after almost every day. At first I felt guilty about it but I don't anymore. I want to be able to spend as much time with my family as possible.

     

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  • Like a PP said, it is a concious choice that you have to make. I used to bring tons of work home and work late at school and once I had DS I just prioritized. I am super efficient during my prep times and took a good hard look at what I graded and how. I cut back some on grading and only work when LO is sleeping. Once I got in the groove I found that I rarely bring work home. And honestly, if that lab report doesn't get back to them right away....oh well. The world keeps spinning and my child is happy.
  • I'm also a MA kindergarten teacher, so I can relate to this post times a million. I get to school around 7 (although right now I'm sitting here bumping so maybe 7:15 today lol) and I used to leave around 4 or 5. This year I just haven't had the stamina for that so I leave every day by 3:30-4ish and finish the rest of what needs to be done on my couch at home. Obviously that option won't be as available with a baby. 

    Luckily, I have several other new parents at my school. Here is what I plan to do. I have no idea if this will work or not. 

    1. I plan to only volunteer for 1 or 2 extra things per year so I can avoid meetings and extra obligations outside of my normal work. I have always done a lot for the school but I know that I will need to take a few year break from that. I think that is okay. 

    2. I will try to do work that can be done at night after my baby goes to bed- responding to parent e-mails, writing newsletters/report cards, some planning. I'll also try to do a bit on the weekends again during naptime etc. I don't want my work to interfere with time with the baby and my husband because I'm already at work so much of life. 

    3. I will go to work every morning with a to do list and try to plow through it, not get distracted with extra stuff and/or talking to people. I might not be the most social!

    That being said, I'm worried about it too. I'm especially worried about the end of this year and beginning of next year when I might still be pumping so my time at school will be even more limited. I think sometimes I just won't be able to do things that I have always done. Hopefully I'm okay with that! Also hoping it all just makes me more efficient! 

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  • *Teacher here as well!!!*

    I have learned to become EXTREMELY efficient in my job! :) I teach 5th grade, before DS1 as well. I have learned to use my TA time/Volunteer time to the fullest (minimal copying/grading/extra stuff) for me.

    I also *used* to get to school at 7am and leave around 5ish. Now, DH takes DS to daycare/preschool and I get to work at 7 but I leave every day by 4. (We can leave by 3:15 according to our contract) That gives me 1 hour before school, 1.5 hours after school, and one 50 min prep per day to accomplish tasks outside of just teaching (grades, curriculum, prof. devel. etc).

    Also, after DS, I stopped bringing things home with me and stopped going in on weekends. I put in my time during the week. I think it is hard to be a successful working woman and/or mom if you try to combine the two too much. I keep them as separate as possible.

    #rainbows and #unicorns make any situation #cute. keithcorcoran
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  • edited December 2013
    I'm not a teacher, but due to commute time and work schedule I leave for the day around 7:20a and don't get home until about 5:15p.  I don't have much choice in the matter, since I can't make our hours change and I can't move my house closer lol.

    So we just have long days apart and make up for it by spending weekends as a family. It's not ideal, but it's life. My H works midnights and leaves shortly after I get home so LO spends afternoons with him and mornings with my sister or MIL. In some ways it's nice because it gives LO and Dad a few hours of alone time every day and they have a great bond. And LO gets to spend time with his extended family. In other ways it's sucky because I hardly see my H and I'm alone at night for dinner/bedtime which can be trying some days when both me/LO are tired/cranky.

    I think the key to success is having a good support system, because you simply can't do it all. Working FT, being parent, keeping up house, etc is all a LOT of work, so having help is vital. My H really does a ton around the house in terms of cleaning/etc and now that LO is older we get him involved in helping as much as a 2yr old can. So he'll unload the silverware into the drawer, feed the dog, etc. I also don't put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect at anything and instead focus on doing what's most important at the time, my house may have clutter, but my kid got snuggles. Prioritizing and having a good routine will help everything run more smoothly.

    You'll figure it out with time!


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  • I will admit that I had a very hard time adjusting back to work. I'm extremely career focus and ambitous and had spent so many years that way. Then, when DD was born, the pendulum swung the total opposite way and I was only focused on being a mom. When I returned to work it was almost an identity crisis of sort, and it was compounded by the fact that I was out of the loop, processes had changed and I was feeling insecure.

    It took a few months, but we settled into a routine and I now feel pretty balanced. When LO comes, it will be another adjustment but I know we can do it. I will say that having a spouse that supports my career choices and encourages me to pursue my goals is instrumental in having anything close to balance in my life.

    Give yourself time and realize that you have to let some things go - I've just accepted that my house will never be perfectly clean!

    I hope to create a real siggy but first I need some sleep!

    Mom to Lily and Colin!
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  • I am a teacher...and it is an adjustment but you will find a balance. I don't allow myself to take work home everynight. I can take stuff home 3 nights a week, twice a week I force myself to leave so I can have time at home after LO is asleep to catch up with stuff at home and DH. You find that you will use your time more effectiently at work...ask parents to help with stuff that they can do, so you aren't doing all the prep work (esp. as a K teacher) I know it seems crazy and overwhelming but it will just become your new normal. Don't put to much pressure on yourself when you are first back to teacher.

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  • Thank you to everyone who responded! All of it makes perfect sense. I'm sure it will take some adjusting, but it will work out!
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