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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Poisonives
member
My story
Poisonives
member
I feel the need to tell my story. I was inspired by one of the moms out there. Its been 3 weeks but it seems to be the longest 3 weeks yet everything happened so fast. If you guys understand what I mean.
Our baby would have been 26 weeks by now. Three tuesdays ago, we went to a specialist for a level 3 u/s since they found a Single umbilical artery in our baby. My thoughts were about abnormalities in our baby and i prayed so hard that if it is meant to be, that He may give me strength to accept His blessings. But it was a shock to us when the doctor said he couldnt find a heartbeat. My husband and I were so heartbroken. The weather sympathized with us as it poured heavy rain while we walked out that building.
That same night, I was admitted to the hospital to induce labor and delivery. It felt weird. I was excited and devastated at the same time. I was excited to see my baby and the feeling of giving birth. But I was afraid to see his tiny body that suffered which hurts me most. I held my baby in my chest for few hours. It felt great being a mom.
We had to bury our little angel last Friday. I still feel sad though I trust in God's plan for us. I cried so hard one night and asked Him if I can hold and hug my baby again. Amazingly, He listened. That same night I dreamt about my baby, he was so healthy and giggly. I hugged him and held him tight. It was a satisfying experience and my heart felt so light, free from sadness and pain.
Forgive me for the long story. There are much more to this and what happened in the last 3 weeks. Tomorrow is our first doctors appointment. I still fear but I have to let God.
Thank you all for listening/reading.
Our baby would have been 26 weeks by now. Three tuesdays ago, we went to a specialist for a level 3 u/s since they found a Single umbilical artery in our baby. My thoughts were about abnormalities in our baby and i prayed so hard that if it is meant to be, that He may give me strength to accept His blessings. But it was a shock to us when the doctor said he couldnt find a heartbeat. My husband and I were so heartbroken. The weather sympathized with us as it poured heavy rain while we walked out that building.
That same night, I was admitted to the hospital to induce labor and delivery. It felt weird. I was excited and devastated at the same time. I was excited to see my baby and the feeling of giving birth. But I was afraid to see his tiny body that suffered which hurts me most. I held my baby in my chest for few hours. It felt great being a mom.
We had to bury our little angel last Friday. I still feel sad though I trust in God's plan for us. I cried so hard one night and asked Him if I can hold and hug my baby again. Amazingly, He listened. That same night I dreamt about my baby, he was so healthy and giggly. I hugged him and held him tight. It was a satisfying experience and my heart felt so light, free from sadness and pain.
Forgive me for the long story. There are much more to this and what happened in the last 3 weeks. Tomorrow is our first doctors appointment. I still fear but I have to let God.
Thank you all for listening/reading.
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