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Attachment Parenting
B27
member
Can I hang out over here?
B27
member
I think I definatley lean towards attachment parenting, my LO still sleeps in our room, I wear her a lot, still breastfeeding at almost 8 months...and I may have offended a few ladies on my birth month board because, frankly I don't judge other ladies for their choices (being a mama is hard work!) but I read one too many "CIO is so hard, woe is me" posts and I recommended a different way (and was maybe a little sassy about it...) so I'm hopping I may fit in better here, if you ladies don't mind 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Can I hang out over here?
I vowed and swore up and down that I would never do any CIO. My LO was waking every hour. I'm a bad sleeper and I don't fall back asleep easily. I was getting about three hours of broken sleep, usually in 30 minute segments, per night. This went on for two months,I was so exhausted I wouldn't even drive with LO in the car.
This was all fine by me. LO was happy and well taken care of and that was all that mattered.
But then all of a sudden, my guy wasn't happy anymore. He could barely last 30 minutes between naps before becoming a mess. Except he wouldn't nap. He was miserable and he needed to sleep. He had stopped nursing well and is only 9th percentile for weight. I suffer from insomnia, so I know in my heart of hearts that sleep deprivation is no joke.
I took my guy to the doc and he rec'd a clean bill of health. No ear infections, no teeth erupting, etc. With that info I decided to try to let my guy cry a bit. Please know, I had tried everything. I was exhausted, yet when I could get LO down for a nap I read book after book, blog after blog, on alternatives to CIO.
Then I read all of the research I could find against CIO. In reality, there is very minimal such scholarly peer reviewed research. There was one study regarding elevated levels of cortisol. Unfortunately, the testing done on infants was done in a sleep lab which was very unfamiliar to the infants. The results of this study are anecdotal at best giving the circumstances, and really only proves that the infants remained stressed in an unfamiliar environment.
In your post on our BMB you state that you have a degree in child development and that research supports not letting an infant CIO. So, in all sincerity, I am genuinly concerned I missed something. Do you have any sources that are peer reviewed studies?
BTW, our night of CIO helped dramatically. The longest he has ever cried during this was 8 minutes, during which I was in and out of the room comforting him. This was the first night, and he slept four straight hours afterwards. I didn't as I stayed up crying all night because I felt I had betrayed him and my heart ached with the fear I was causing my LO undo stress.
I still feed him twice during the night. And in the morning when he woke he gave me the biggest the smile. I hadn't seen that huge smile of his in weeks. Since then his sleep has only improved and he is my wonderfully happy little guy again and nursing like a champ.
I never let him just cry at length, I figure if it goes on much more then 7 or 8 minutes he genuinly has a need he wants me to meet, even if it is snuggles.
Thanks for reading all this if you made it this far. As you can see, I am still obsessing over what is right to do, even though the improvement in my LO is obvious.
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
Yup, several of us from your BMB still do all the things you mentioned--including learning from and joining in with the parents over here.
Read your post again and explain how you weren't being judge-y to women you've hardly participated with lately because you're too busy?
Edited my now un-working gif out. Think Lucille Bluth.
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt189369.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
Because sleep training worked for us, I try to be as supportive as I can and almost always write a supportive comment on any post about sleep training when it happens on our board. I didn't think we had that many posts about it recently, so went back to check in case I was wrong and missed some, and there's been THREE posts in a month. I have no idea how that's anywhere near excessive.
I think it's incredibly bad form to complain to another board (even if you do think you fit better in here) and to say things that aren't even accurate in order to get people to feel sorry for you. It's really passive aggressive (so are your side note comments here in parentheses btw), and just makes you look bad. If you would have just said something along the lines of "that didn't come out the way I wanted it to, sorry if that seemed rude, here's what I was trying to say", people would have been much more receiving to hear what you had to say.