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I just don't get it.

sabrina69barnessabrina69barnes member
in Blended Families
Sometimes I try to understand what goes through BM's head and I just can't. Right now DH and BM aren't communicating. BM got mad at DH because the court gave her less money so she is refusing to uphold her end of verbal agreements. DH assumed this meant that they were following the paperwork but BM blocked his e-mails so he wasn't able to confirm. It's SS birthday today and DH went to the pickup location in the paperwork. BM wasn't there so now DH is on his way to the school to pick the kids up. Our lawyer is on top of this and everything will be fine but I'm not sure why BM thinks this is a good idea for her. We've been through this before and BM had to pay fines. If she's mad at DH about the money, why is she doing things that history says will only cost her more money? This is annoying and unfair to the kids but I'm not sure what BM thinks she's gaining by doing this. I just don't get it.
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Re: I just don't get it.

  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    edited December 2013
    When you posted you guys were going to reduce cs, you said there was a legitimate chance she would lose her home as a result.

    I don't think you can be surprised that there is a backlash. No, her specific reaction doesn't make logical sense. But she's upset. Do not have any expectation that she will uphold any verbal agreements that benefit YH. 

    If she will not follow the CO and will not communicate, do what you have to do.

    But I don't think it's fair to be shocked/confused that she is pissed. 
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  • sabrina69barnessabrina69barnes member
    We actually ended up not really reducing c/s. Our lawyer made a calculation error when she gave DH the reduced number. Were still paying about the same. There was however an error in c/s a while ago where BM got an overpayment of about $1700. She spent the money and denied that she ever got it. When we had our last modification the court  applied the credit so she didn't get any c/s for around 6 weeks. She's mad. I get that. I'm not surprised that she is trying to punish DH. I'm just surprised she is trying to do it a way that she will likely be fined for again.
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    You can be following the letter of the law, abiding by your CO and doing everything that you are entitled to, but that doesn't mean the ramifications of those changes aren't going to have repercussions from the other party. She is pissed because you turned her life upside. It doesn't make you wrong for having child support reduced but like @fellesferie said, you can't be surprised she is being difficult.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    She's reacting emotionally, and just not thinking it through. 

    I'd have had some (small) sympathy for her if the cs had been dramatically reduced. But  she's just being petty. Don't expect favors, but do what you have to do to keep things by the book. 
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