January 2014 Moms

I need to vent and cry a little bit (long)

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Re: I need to vent and cry a little bit (long)

  • After reading your additional posts, I would recommend having a serious talk with your doctor at your appointment tomorrow and put together a game plan.  Again, hugs peanut. I am thinking of you.

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  • I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through this. I can't imagine having to make that call of when it is "too much" - that is really a lot of pressure on you. Lots of ((hugs))


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  • Oh @peanutmuse, I am so incredibly sorry you are dealing with all of this pain.  The way you have handled all of this is amazing, and I just hope you can come to a decision with your OB that will make you happy, and that you are pain-free very soon.
                        Nathaniel Robert born 1.16.2014
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  • I'm sorry you're having to make these type of decisions :( I hope with guidance from your OB you can devise a plan you are happy with asap. Thinking of you.
    DS 2014 ❤
    DD 2016 ❤

  • @peanutmuse, I am so very sorry you're in so much agony.  Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I'd seriously consider inducing.  @wilburbud said it pretty well.  Your health is just as important as baby's.  You're far enough long you would have a very short NICU stay if any at all.  Since you're in so much pain, the baby may be a little stressed and be a little more mature because of it?  It's a tough decision and I know you'll make the right one for you and your baby.  Thoughts and prayers.  Keep us updated! 
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    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
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  • I think @wilburbud said it best. I can't think of anything better or different to say. You are strong beyond words, and already an amazing mother.
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    Baby Chugging born 12.28.13
    induction due to HELLP
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  • I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I hope you and your doctors can come up with a plan you are comfortable with. [[HUGS]]

    TTC Since 8/2011
    BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
    BFP #2 5/13/13 * Current EDD 1/23/14

    Baby N born 2/8/14


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    Lilypie - (HD7B)

     

     

  • I have absolutely no advice for you that would be useful or meaningful at this point, but I am just so sorry that things are this rough for you. I can't imagine how much pain you're in, and I'm all teary eyed just thinking about how you must feel about all of this. I don't know what to say other than I'm praying things ease up for you soon, and that whatever happens, you and your baby boy are safe. ♥
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersimage
    partial molar pregnancy : bfp 6.28.10, d/c 8.17.10, 7 rounds methotrexate, cleared 7.1.11
    alexander patrick : bfp 1.16.12, born 9.20.12 @ 39w1d, 7 lbs./11 oz./22 in.
    scarlett irene elizabeth : bfp 5.24.13, born 2.3.14 @ 41w2d, 7 lbs./13 oz./19 in.
  • I'm sorry. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of someone else. I've struggled with chronic pain and realized I have to do whats best for me so I can take care of dd and this LO. You have so much support from all these girls and whatever you decide will be right for you. Good luck!
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  • Oh Peanut... :(

    I don't even know what to say. This is not the update I was hoping for. I've been in a piss-ass mood so I avoided the board most of the day and am just seeing this. I just want to echo everybody else that we're all here for you and wishing for the best.

    Honestly, at this point, I'd be begging them to induce me. Hell, I think every day I'd take it if it was offered, and I have not had to deal with even the smallest fraction of pain that you've continued to endure. You've been so strong for so long, and I completely understand not wanting to continue to take the pain meds. At this point, your baby is probably under some amount of stress simply because of what you're going through. Nobody wants a NICU baby, but if LO needs to come early so that you don't have to live like this, all would probably be just fine. Look how good all of our other babies are doing.

    Nobody can make that call but you and your Dr, but I hope that you get some relief soon. I know my post was rambling and made no sense...I just feel so bad that you have to be in this situation. I can't imagine.
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  • Thank you, ladies. You truly made me feel better. (Well, that, and the fact that I finally decided to break down and take my pain meds at 7pm tonight.) My husband is going to come to my appt with me tomorrow to make sure I tell my doctor how bad it has been. He gets frustrated with me because I do put on a brave face for everyone except for him and my mother. They both think that I'm not expressing how bad it is to my doctors. It's just hard for me to admit defeat. I know in my head that it's not my fault, but my heart has had a hard time accepting that.
  • I completely understand wanting to be strong and try to hold out for your LO's sake, but I agree with the other ladies that being really honest with your OB is important. They will know what is best for you and your LO. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. Lots of hugs!
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  • I'm glad your DH is going with you tomorrow.  Not only for the reasons you mentioned, but also for the support.  So sorry you are going through all of this. 
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  • Thank you, ladies. You truly made me feel better. (Well, that, and the fact that I finally decided to break down and take my pain meds at 7pm tonight.) My husband is going to come to my appt with me tomorrow to make sure I tell my doctor how bad it has been. He gets frustrated with me because I do put on a brave face for everyone except for him and my mother. They both think that I'm not expressing how bad it is to my doctors. It's just hard for me to admit defeat. I know in my head that it's not my fault, but my heart has had a hard time accepting that.
    I completely understand this mentality because it is me to a T. This is absolutely not defeat. Your body is giving you a serious raw deal right now, and I'm sure most would agree that you have lasted longer than any of us could. I was crying today because of hip and pelvic pain and being tired. And that's nothing! Your dedication to keeping that LO in there is amazing. 

    Keep us posted, and good luck tomorrow. 
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  • I don't know what to say. I'm just so sorry that you are in so much pain. I agree, though, that there comes a point when you need to do what you have to do to take care of yourself as well as LO. 

    Big hugs to you.
    OHM born 12/16/11, BAM born 1/10/14, mmc 06/30/15
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  • @peanutmuse. Pls update us if you are up to it after your appt tomorrow.
  • I don't have any advice for you really, @peanutmuse, but I just want to tell you how sorry I am you're having to go through with this. I know I'm nowhere near as miserable as you, but with my HG people always ask how I'm feeling again and again and again and it's just terrible to have to keep answering the same question to the same people. 
    I think as far as induction, you're the only one who can make that choice, but you should definitely keep yourself in mind when deciding. Your health and safety are really crucial to your sons, if you're miserable, it's not good for anyone involved. I think you've been incredibly strong and resilient, especially lately, and I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about if you do choose to get induced early. You're not just "uncomfortable" - you're in real, terrible pain, and hopefully your OB will support you whatever your decision is. 
    Sendign you all of my best thoughts and prayers and just know whatever decision you make, it will be the right one. 
                                                                                                                         

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  • Peanut - I can both relate and empathize. I'm so sorry you're having a tough time, I really am.

    I wish I had something good to tell you but I don't. Honestly, I "get by" every day by taking some pain meds, using heat blankets and taking Ativan at night so I can get 3-4 hours of sleep. I'm even trying not to take as many meds as I've been allowed because I'm worried about what could happen to LO.

    I too will only feel better when the baby is delivered and even then, depending on what the delivery is like, it will take several months to get back to normal.

    I hope that when your body tells you it's ready to have LO, you get induced. I'll be so happy for you when LO ges here and you're pain free!! Until then, bent, moan and/or rant away whenever you need to. I try not to moan to people IRL but have found the people on TB and FB to be so helpful - even if it's just to listen to me moan.

  • Gosh @peanutmuse...I can't even imagine the pain that you are experiencing ON TOP of third trimester discomfort. I'm so glad you have your H and mom for support and I'm glad your H will be with you tomorrow to help you verbalize your pain level to your OB.
    I truly think that whatever decision you make, having a plan (more concrete) will at least give you some emotional relief.

    Take care of yourself!
  • I know I am late to comment to this, but I am so sorry you are struggling. I hope your appointment tomorrow gives you the kind of news that you want to hear.
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    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Sounds horrible, I'm sorry. :(
  • I just want to wrap you up in hugs :( I'm so sorry. You are truly my pregnancy hero for holding it all together the way you have. I'm continually sending good vibes your way in hopes that you find some relief -- and also that baby boy muse is an outstandingly happy healthy baby for all he's put you through-- haha. Seriously though, kid needs that memo, you've been through enough!
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  • Oh @peanutmuse, I'm sad to read this update, and to think about what an effing struggle this pregnancy has been for you. I was really hoping things were turning a corner for you after the last update I read.

    Hang in there girl - this boy is so lucky to have a mom as tough as you, and whatever decision you make will be the exact right one for both you and him.

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    DS1 born 08.02.11

    DS2 born 12.05.13

  • All I can do is sending you hughe warm "hughs", you are such a brave woman . I also suffer from pains ... But no way near can i imagine what you have to endure . I am convinced LO will be fine if he is delievered now. Pl let as know how you are getting on if you can. Really really thinking of you . All my love and hang in there !! It will eventually all lead to a good end
  • Sorry peanut. I'm so glad I haven't started all the threads I've wanted to since your surgery to ask about how you are feeling.

    I hope you have answers later today at your appointment. Good luck and I hope you find relief very soon.
  • (hugs) - hope you get some guidance from your doctor at today's appointment. Keep us posted.

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     "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
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  • I'm sorry to hear you're goin through such a tough time. I can't imagine feeling that way everyday. I think if I were you I would elect to have the baby as he is at a point where he would be fine if born and would only require a small amount of time in the NICU. You have done a great job so far and now its time to take care of you. Good luck at your apt and i hope you get your answer soon xo

    Jaclyn D'Ausilio Jackie D'Ausilio

     Married 6.22.12

         Baby Oliver Born 1.11.14

               

     

     

  • I just want to send you big hugs!

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