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I dont even know how to title this... I'm here

JocelynB0911JocelynB0911 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
This may come off as a dear diary post. I dont even know how to start to talk about how we got here without breaking down. Well here goes nothing.

DH and I were done having babies after we had out twins in August. To our surprise we found out we were expecting again last week. I was scared/excited/happy/overwhelmed. I knew the odds of the baby sticking were slim since I had a csection. I went in for blood work last wednesday and my HCG was 230. That there made me nervous. I went back on Friday and I got a call saying to skip the draw scheduled for Sunday and just get here first thing Monday morning. I knew we were out right then but I still had hope in the back of my head. Sadly, it was confirmed that we lost our baby bean.

I am feeling such a mix of emotions. I feel like I shouldnt hurt this much over something that I didnt know about for long. I am angry. I am sad. I am bitter. Even though we werent planning on having more, DH and I were over the moon excited and the want we had for this to stick was unreal. At the moment I am numb. I have been trying to distract myself with taking care of our family but when it gets quiet, I start to wonder what could have been.

My OB is giving me a few days to make a decision as to where to go next. I dont know what the best route to go is as far as passing everything. I have not started to bleed yet and if I could avoid a D&C I will. Please share your thoughts on this. 
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Re: I dont even know how to title this... I'm here

  • KMW08KMW08 member
    I'm sorry for your loss. Be assured that all of your feelings are very normal.

    It's up to you on what you want to do. Did you thoroughly discuss your options? You mentioned having a csection & being worried about being pg--were any risks of a d&c vs natural mc mentioned since you had the csection not that long ago?

    If you're not sure what you want to do, call your ob and discuss it some more. That's what they are there for.

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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  • JocelynB0911JocelynB0911 member
    KMW08 said:
    I'm sorry for your loss. Be assured that all of your feelings are very normal. It's up to you on what you want to do. Did you thoroughly discuss your options? You mentioned having a csection & being worried about being pg--were any risks of a d&c vs natural mc mentioned since you had the csection not that long ago? If you're not sure what you want to do, call your ob and discuss it some more. That's what they are there for.
    We did discuss the options and he said either would be acceptable. I know no one here can give me an answer as to what to do and I will be calling again to go over things with a clearer head. 
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  • heathersf11heathersf11 member
    I'm sorry for your loss. 

    DH diagnosed with testicular cancer 6/04/10
    Married DH 8/1/11
    7/21/13 SA poor morphology/ low count
    BFP #1 11/18/13, EDD 7/22/14 
    MC Blighted Ovum 12/4/13 @ 7wks
    BFP #2 8/21/14, EDD 5/1/15 
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    All Welcome
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • JocelynB0911JocelynB0911 member
    wife07mom09 said:

    I think what you do just depends on your body. I had severe pain for 8 hours and passed most of it and the rest 2 days later. That was pretty fast and was physically and emotionally difficult but my body tok care of it. I personally could not wait 2 weeks for the process to be complete so if my body did not do it I would schedule a d&c. But the decision is yours.
    I'm not sure why you felt the baby would ot stick just because of the sections? I m not sure that has much to do with the baby not sticking.
    Give yourself time to grieve. I know it's hard when you ave little ones at home. Ask for help from family.


    Hugs

    The doctor said that due to the scar tissue from my csection the baby couldn't properly implant.
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