Thoughts on Paperless Post for shower invite?

htn1763 · December 2013

My SIL asked if I was ok with paperless post (www.paperlesspost.com) or if I wanted paper invites for the shower. She said a lot of people use them now and they are more formal than evite (cost a little bit of money) and are super cute. It's easy for guests to respond and for the host to contact people that might have forgotten to rsvp.

Thoughts?

ETA example:

angelsnight · December 2013

Call me old fashioned but I am a pen and paper girl. I had a hell of a time tracking down addresses for my guests, I can't imagine trying to get current email address for everyone (unless it's a fairly small guestlist). I think people that don't know what it is will assume it's like an evite and maybe think it's tacky. I think if you (or your host) are going to pay some money toward it anyway, you might as well do paper invites. Especailly since grandmas will likely want to keep theirs as a momento.

jbelle · December 2013

I'm old enough that I'd consider any email invitation less formal. I'd also be concerned about spam filters.

I definitely appreciate an email option to RSVP to parties, though!

clo1982 · December 2013

I'd say if it is a small guest list, and more importantly, a relatively young crowd, it is OK. If you have older people on the list though I think a paper invite is the way to go. It just seems that the older generations like to have something in hand (same goes for an actual thank you note instead of an email/text) where the younger generations don't care as much and would probably prefer something via email since it's accessible and convenient.

AriaAmante143 · December 2013

I love to do most things electronically but I still prefer paper invites to things. I like to put them on my fridge, they're cute and also a reminder to RSVP and when the event is. Emails get buried so easily.

WoodShopGirl · December 2013

I am with the old fashioned crowd on this one. Paper invites and more importantly paper Thank Yous.

ceh789 · December 2013

I've had a few wedding and more than a few shower invites via Paperless Post - I think you have to know your audience here. If your audience is a PP type crowd then I'd say go for it. I do think that if you're asking us, your audience probably isn't a PP type crowd

I will second, though, thank yous must absolutely positively no questions be hand written, on paper, stamped and mailed. That is, for me, never ever going to be something that is ok to do electronically.

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htn1763 · December 2013

Yeah, the guest list is only 25-30 people and 25 of them would be my friends with 5 being my Mom's friends. I don't have any older family members.

Definitely doing paper thank you notes!

HobokensFury · December 2013

Paperless invites are informal, no matter what site they come from. Besides technical issues- spam filters, wrong email addresses, etc consider those older relatives that don't even know how to turn on a computer.

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VanessaBee · December 2013

I used paperless post for both of my showers! Not only are the invites super cute, but I don't know if I know anyone who actually checks regular mail on a consistent basis...ha! I didn't want them to have all the hassle of paper invites and paper RSVPs. Not that there aren't super cute paper invites out there too! I was just catering to my audience.

DRFleener · December 2013

I used to own a stationery company and know all the supposed rules. However, in this day and age, digital is so much better! Everyone has a phone, tablet, computer and most of us operate off of those calendars or apps. Times they are a'changing. I want mine to be through evite or digital.

NortyLeigh · December 2013

I have no problem with informal invites. I had two showers with DS. Invites for both were done through Facebook and only mailed to people who didn't have Facebook. No one cared and almost everyone showed up. Etiquette or not, I really don't think it's a big deal for a baby shower. Wedding, yes, but showers, no.

AriaAmante143 · December 2013

I can't believe invitations to events like showers via Facebook is now a thing. That's even worse than what OP is suggesting.

NortyLeigh · December 2013

AriaAmante143 said:
I can't believe invitations to events like showers via Facebook is now a thing. That's even worse than what OP is suggesting.

Both hostesses were going to do regular invites but I told them to do them on Facebook. They were already spending a fortune on the showers. Flame all you want, but I don't see the problem with it and could care less if I'm invited to something this way.

KariB509 · December 2013

I vote paper invitations. I like to put the invites on my fridge so I remember when the parties are. It's also more formal and traditional.

katykatykaty · December 2013

VanessaBee said:

I used paperless post for both of my showers! Not only are the invites super cute, but I don't know if I know anyone who actually checks regular mail on a consistent basis...ha! I didn't want them to have all the hassle of paper invites and paper RSVPs. Not that there aren't super cute paper invites out there too! I was just catering to my audience.

I check my regular mail daily... am I really in the minority? It comes to my mailbox, right outside my door. Who doesn't do that?!

Also, people don't do paper RSVPs for showers...

hisbeautyalways · December 2013

I'm pro-paper invites. I may be biased because I design/sell them, but I also am totally forgetful and if I don't have something concrete that I can touch/see, I won't remember the event. I also totally ignore any e-vites I get.

VanessaBee · December 2013

@katykatykaty I'd put much more faith in my friends being the exception than you being in the minority!!

avigailandcharlie · December 2013

I'm doing paper myself but think paperless is fine for your crowd. You can call the older people if you see they haven't opened it. Usually there's a way to track who has viewed it. Also, Harry potters birthday is July 31st so Lilly had a really early baby shower on march 31. Yes I just said that. Sorry I'm not sorry.

MaDa8 · December 2013

I would've liked paper invites but with a small guest list and limited time (decided to have it next month), I was ok with electronic invite. I absolutely will send paper thank yous. The small guest list is local friends ( our families are all pretty far east) but I did include people from out of town, so that they have the registry info, if they want to purchase something.

Jens222 · December 2013

I vote paper. An older lady from church told my mom she's not up on technology... My invites said something along the lines about not buying a card and sign a baby book instead. Now there is NO technology about this, but she didn't understand something so simple. Point being older people do not understand "new" things. I rarely check my emails but I do get my mail everyday.

VineyardMel · December 2013

Gah--this makes my head explode. PAPER--always paper! I'm so sad to think that in 5 years "the younger generation" will be sending out email wedding invites. Sigh. Paper invites communicate a sense of occasion and celebrating a new baby should be just that. Not to mention that a print out from your computer isn't nearly as cute in the baby book or on somebody's fridge. And I really hope that paper thank you notes isn't just an "older generation" thing. The comment about texting a thank you made me gasp! Including an email address for RSVPs is great and makes it super easy.

msBlackandGold · December 2013

I am also old fashioned, and vote paper. Someone said something that stuck with me: if you want me to spend $15-25 (or more) on a gift, you can at least spend $0.45 on a stamp ($1 if you include mail back RSVP). I don't remember the exact quote, but that was the gist of it.

My great aunt told me, " no invitation, no gift." This was in regards to my high school graduation, but that has also stuck with me.

Grovecenter · December 2013

I did both paper and electronic invites

Andreabills · December 2013

I'm doing both, my family and some friends who I know want a "real" invitation are getting paper and we are also doing a Facebook event for friends who would rather have a digital invite.

amandaluff · December 2013

My sister did both. She started a Facebook event for the younger crowd and we are sending paper invites to others.

pepperedmoth · December 2013

Depends on the crowd and the vibe of the event. I'm doing a sip-and-see, not a shower, and will invite via Facebook, with e-mailed backup to the people I particularly want to see.

Flame all you like, but I'm having a super casual open house with no gift-giving and no set guest list and the only way I know to make sure that everyone (yes, everyone) sees that they are welcome to visit on that day is to do it via Facebook. That's how my circle does invites for casual parties like housewarmings and holiday get-togethers, and that's what I want this to be like.

I'm billing it as a "baby-warming" --- "Rosemary and Rob have finally (almost) completed their house reno AND they have a new baby! Come warm the house and admire the baby. Or the other way around. Whatever. 10 am to 5pm. Brunch, tea, and libations provided. You need bring nothing but love and cheer. Hope to see you there!" Like that.

If that gets anyone's knickers in a twist I think the stick up their ass is probably too big for us to be friends anyway.....

So anyway, OP, if you're having a casual thing with mostly young folks I don't see the problem.

htn1763 · December 2013

Thanks everyone! Interesting to see everyone's point of view. I definitely think taking the crowd into consideration is a good point. We will definitely have a younger crowd with my Mom being the oldest.

Either way, I promise I will hand write thank yous. It never even crossed my mind to do it any other way!

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kaking78 · December 2013

As PPs said, I think it's about the audience. The one my mom is throwing for us back home had paper invites since a lot of relatives will be coming. The ones my work friends and my college friends are throwing us are probably going to be some type of e-vite since they will be informal and all of the guests are technologically savvy.

Yes, three showers. None were my idea, but I'm not protesting either

pepperedmoth · December 2013

I guess the lines of distinction seem really blurry to me. Like ....

...the last shower I went to, we were invited in person by the father-to-be: "Ahn's having a baby shower! Come on by the restaurant! We'll be playing poker!"

We bought them Pat the Bunny and went. It was like a dozen people, mostly men! The parents-to-be own a Thai restaurant and they provided TONS of food. There was music. Everyone was sitting around a heap of egg rolls playing poker (actually, the men were playing poker at one table and the women were playing hearts IIRC at another table). The pile of presents was being ignored by all.

Everyone seemed like they were having a SUPER good time. I mean, unlimited Thai food. Unlimited booze. Card games. It was great. Everyone went home happy. We sure did.

"Rude"? By these rules. But if manners are judged by making your guests feel welcome, it's not rude at all. In fact, it's super awesome.

So I think the OP should judge her crowd and her event. If she's going to booze up 12 of her best friends and surfeit them with all-you-can-eat fondue while they all play Monopoly, or whatever floats her boat, I think she can send paperless invites.

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