Anyone Not Getting There LO's Anything for Christmas?

jasminelorraine20 · December 2013

A FB friend posted that they won't be getting their DD anything for Christmas becasue that day is about Christ and not opening gifts. They will go all out for Birthdays but not Christmas- which I respect her decision. Curious to know if there are any other parents that feel this way.

tifdaski84 · December 2013

I don't like this. I think she can make Christmas about Christ and teach her kids the importance of the religious side of the holiday while still letting them enjoy the "magic" of Christmas. By magic I mean things like Santa, waking up on Xmas morning to new and exciting things (doesn't need to be much), giving to the ones they love, gathering with family, etc. I kind of get where she's coming from but there's a way to do both - people have been doing it for hundreds of years. This kinda makes me sad for her kids TBH.

jasminelorraine20 · December 2013

Possum2011 said:

I don't like this. I think she can make Christmas about Christ and teach her kids the importance of the religious side of the holiday while still letting them enjoy the "magic" of Christmas. By magic I mean things like Santa, waking up on Xmas morning to new and exciting things (doesn't need to be much), giving to the ones they love, gathering with family, etc. I kind of get where she's coming from but there's a way to do both - people have been doing it for hundreds of years. This kinda makes me sad for her kids TBH.

I feel this as well, but her point is that her DD will not know what is going on anyway. I'm all about the magic of Christmas, so I think it's a bit extreme but to each their own I guess.

traveltheworld · December 2013

I agree. That seems silly. That said, I'm not getting DS anything for Christmas. Mostly because we will be traveling overseas on Christmas day and I can't be bothered to figure out the logistics of opening presents (our flight is at 6:30 a.m.). And I also don't think DS "needs" anything. DH and I have a giant fear of clutter so DS has very few toys in general. The only thing we keep buying are books.

We are doing a gift exchange with our friends and their kids the weekend before and I know DS will get some presents from them. We are doing lots of Christmas-related stuff with DS (baking cookies, making cards for his DC teachers, caroling, etc.) and we will definitely get him something next year when he better understands the idea.

JENandJEH · December 2013

We celebrate Christmas with presents while also celebrating Jesus's birth. I think that you most definitely can exchange presents while also keeping Christ as a central part of the holiday.

There is a great book called "How Christmas Began" by Claire Bordeaux Bateman that helps connect the birth of Jesus to the St. Nick/Santa traditions. We don't have it but have been at a friends house and heard it. They LOVE it and highly recommend it!

https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Began-Claire-Boudreaux-Bateman/dp/0970673213/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386894774&sr=8-1&keywords=how+christmas+began

dufferoo · December 2013

Eh, I think this is personal preference. Don't certain religions like Jehova's Witnesses not celebrate holidays? To each, his own. Personally, I love presents and went totally overboard on the kids this year!!

kjsmith9 · December 2013

I agree with it being personal preference. We aren't getting gifts for her this year since she doesn't know the difference... Instead we're spending that money on baby swim lessons. Starting next year we'll likely do one big gift, a stocking with a few little things, and that's it. Plus she'll get stuff from grandparents and other family members. At home, I would rather have it be about traditions like baking cookies, drinking hot chocolate while watching Christmas movies, wearing fun new PJs on Christmas Eve, etc. That's my ideal - we'll see how close to it we stay

jasminelorraine20 · December 2013

kjsmith9 said:

I agree with it being personal preference. We aren't getting gifts for her this year since she doesn't know the difference... Instead we're spending that money on baby swim lessons. Starting next year we'll likely do one big gift, a stocking with a few little things, and that's it. Plus she'll get stuff from grandparents and other family members. At home, I would rather have it be about traditions like baking cookies, drinking hot chocolate while watching Christmas movies, wearing fun new PJs on Christmas Eve, etc. That's my ideal - we'll see how close to it we stay

We'll be doing all of that this weekend, along with DS opening gifts at home since Christmas will be spent at my parents' house. I can't wait.

mlee116 · December 2013

I agree with PP's. I think that you can definitely celebrate Jesus and enjoy Santa, gifts, and all the other fun stuff for Christmas. This topic actually came up on a Christian radio station the other morning and one the DJ's said that he thinks of Christmas as celebrating 2 holidays in one: the birth of Jesus and St. Nicholas Day.

I agree that Christmas Day shouldn't be just be focused on gifts, but it's not hard to make it about more than that. We go to church, read about baby Jesus, spend time with family, etc.

mlee116 · December 2013

kjsmith9 said:

I agree with it being personal preference. We aren't getting gifts for her this year since she doesn't know the difference... Instead we're spending that money on baby swim lessons. Starting next year we'll likely do one big gift, a stocking with a few little things, and that's it. Plus she'll get stuff from grandparents and other family members. At home, I would rather have it be about traditions like baking cookies, drinking hot chocolate while watching Christmas movies, wearing fun new PJs on Christmas Eve, etc. That's my ideal - we'll see how close to it we stay

See, I like these ideas and this is similar to what we do. But because we're practical and cheap, not because we're Christians

.

mb314 · December 2013

At this age, I don't think not getting gifts is a big deal, but it will be as they get older. Since DS is the first baby in my family in 18 years, he's going to get plenty of stuff at Christmas. I am only going to get him one or two things from "Santa.". One is a backpack to replace the diaper bag for daycare, and I'll maybe get him a book or a small toy. He doesn't need anything, and at this age, he's not that aware that he should be getting tons of gifts for Christmas. I would rather put an extra $100 in his college savings. As he gets older, he will get Santa gifts, but not a ton.

jasminelorraine20 · December 2013

I'm the opposite. I will go all out for Christmas, but then for DS's birthday we only plan to do one big gift, which is most likely a Quad bike. For his 1st birthday we got him one toy and that was it- along with a tiny party and cake. For some reason, I got a little out of hand with the Christmas gifts but we will still do the traditional Christmas movie, cookies, and pj's.

plus12012 · December 2013

If it's truly for religious reasons I suppose I understand. If it's just too make a point that Christ should be the focus of Christmas I don't think it's neccesary to not give gifts.

shannm · December 2013

Maybe it is where I am but I am surrounded by kids who don't celebrate Christmas (the traditional americana kind of way) for one reason or another. It doesn't seem to phase them. Maybe because it is more common here?

DawnLilly · December 2013

I bought DS one big gift. I would like Christmas to be more about celebration of family but more than that, I despise commercialism. We have a real tree. We will not attend midnight Mass, but MIL can take DS to her church's Christmas pageant if she wants. On the 21st I will dance naked in the snow around a fire. JK, okay mostly JK, its like -10 here so naked dancing is out.

Meery82 · December 2013

shannm said:

Maybe it is where I am but I am surrounded by kids who don't celebrate Christmas (the traditional americana kind of way) for one reason or another. It doesn't seem to phase them. Maybe because it is more common here?

@shannm, where are you located?

shannm · December 2013

Meery82 said:

shannm said:

Maybe it is where I am but I am surrounded by kids who don't celebrate Christmas (the traditional americana kind of way) for one reason or another. It doesn't seem to phase them. Maybe because it is more common here?

@shannm, where are you located?

Philly. Before that Houston.

sunnyday016 · December 2013

Eh, personal preference & values. I wouldn't really call it depriving her child. They are free to celebrate Christmas in their own way.

As for us, we are Christians who celebrate Christmas with plenty of gifts, including gifts from Santa. My DD is 4 (almost 5) and understands that the main reason (for Christians) is Jesus' birth. This will be her first year when she really is in awe of Santa, and that has been so fun for us. So we're fully going with both Jesus & Santa in our family

seunrine · December 2013

We're not but not for that reason. DS is 18 months and he's getting presents from so many people that we really didn't know what else he needed. Plus...he still doesn't really understand the whole thing. He's more interested in the paper and the box then of the whole idea of "Christmas."

*LrCg* · December 2013

I don't agree that her kids will be missing out. Its what they are use to. I grew up with people of the Jewish faith and they never felt left out of Christmas. We don't really push the idea of Santa in our house. We don't visit him and all he does is fill their stockings with small items. We've heard a lot of flack about that but I don't care. For us Christmas isn't about Santa. As a Christian I've always found it odd that we celebrate Jesus's birthday on Dec 25 (we know he wasn't born then) and we do it with pagan rituals but I give in. We do it small for our kids- we don't go all out. We have 3 kids and we spend no more than $130-150/child- which I think is WAY TOO much but compared to people around us they spend triple that on each child!

a13049 · December 2013

We have a teacher with four kids who is like that. They replace the gifts with religious experiences and family experiences. Having we four kids as students, I don't think they are missing out, they will tell you we don't have Santa at or house, but they are still busting at te seems excited for their Christmas activities. Thy also don't do Halloween at all, the kids really look forward to their fall activities and family movie night as an alternative. I family will find a way to have both, but Ivan understand her strong religious beliefs and I can see that et kids are still wry fulfilled and not missing out.

rubber_chicken · December 2013

I don't think you can compare Christians not giving presents on Christmas to Jews not giving presents on Christmas. None of my Jewish friends felt left out on Christmas, but that's cuz they have Hannukah, and they all think Hannukah is way better.

Everyone I know who is not Christian (including myself) still celebrates a secular Christmas. I think if you don'tt want to participate in secular Christmas traditions, that's fine, but I also think it's really sad if you don't have something similar to do instead (Hannukah, Diwali, whatever).

I would suggest to your friend that they celebrate the Epiphany - the day the Three Kings brought Baby Jesus gifts. Save Christmas for Jesus's birthday, and give gifts in January. Added bonus - after-Christmas sales!

ashiscute · December 2013

I feel like it's odd not to get your kids something. Especially at that age they are excited and grateful for so little! I mean my DD is pumped because she wants Santa to bring her Princess Band-aids! Each family has the ability to make their Christmas big or small and that's their choice but I feel like those kids at some point are going to wonder why Jesus and Santa can't co-exist.

doggiemom4 · December 2013

We will do a food bank or angel tree tradition as our LOs get older. I want to teach my kids that there are people in the world that are less fortunate than us and we have to help by supplying them with needs. Also, I want my kids to know to be grateful for what they have because again, less fortunate people.

I agree with the PP who said that Christmas should be about Christ but it's great to still have the 'Christmas magic' like leaving cookies and milk for Santa, waking up early for gifts on Christmas morning, and the like.

That being said since my LO is still too young to understand the celebration of Christmas and will be getting a few things but I have promised DH that I would go through LOs toys and give the toys LO doesn't play with anymore to Goodwill.

henrytviii · December 2013

I do think it can be hard for kids when they are around others that are celebrating a holiday that they aren't. I grew up that way. But its not just about whether or not you give gifts. Though a had a great family, I felt left out because other kids were celebrating and sharing traditions with their families in a way that we weren't even though we exchanged gifts. The family in the OP is providing those traditions and rituals in a way that some families that provide presents aren't. I love the focus most of the posts here have on decorating cookies or trees, sledding, making cards. That's going to be my approach to a meaningful season in the absence of strong religious beliefs. On Christmas day we are going to open a few gifts and then go to the Zoo as a family. Hopefully that will become our new tradition.

Karen1024 · December 2013

I'm with you: to each their own… You can't try to make religion make sense. It just doesn't so we should try to love everyone we totally disagree with as much as we can and be the best neighbors friends and family we can be!

BUT!!!!

Just to throw in my two cents if you're going to be all anti-secular Christmas maybe it's best to give up on the holiday all together. I for one am amazed that anyone actually thinks Christmas started with Christ or gets angry when non-Christians embrace the holiday. It might have turned into a Christian holiday but there's so much pagan history and symbolism going on here… plus the historical Jesus was most likely born in Spring. So if a person or church really want to celebrate the birth of Christ without the secular non Christian influence they should wait a few months and do it in the Spring. And when/if they do, I hope they have a great time!

melody921 · December 2013

I don't think it has to be one or the other. We go to church, we also have gifts from Santa. But families can decide what's right for them.

jess9802 · December 2013

I would expect that a family like this probably belongs to a church or religious community that shares similar values, so the children won't really know anything else. If not, then yeah, I imagine her kids will feel left out when they're older and everyone they know is getting and giving presents at Christmas.

The secular aspects of Christmas are fun, but as a religious person, the spiritual aspect of it is deeply moving - and I hope my children appreciate both.

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