Working Moms

Yikes, not a good reaction!

I have been at my job for 4 months. I told my boss today that I am 13 weeks pregnant with twins. He said, "Well this is very unexpected and I didn't budget for this. You need to let the budget department know by the end of next week."
I am having a terrible pregnancy so far. I have been bleeding constantly and wanted to wait until the bleeding stopped before telling people. I am so upset! Should I go to HR?
Me:35,  DH: 39   
TTC since March 2011. All bloodword, SA & HSG are normal.  
8/12: Clomid & TI - BFN 
10/12: Colmid & TI - BFN 
3/13:  Clomid, Trigger & IUI - BFN 
4/13: Gonal F, Trigger & IUI: BFN  
6/13: IVF #1 (1AA blast & 1BB blast) = BFN 
8/13: FET #1= BFN
10/13: FET #2= BFP!!!

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Re: Yikes, not a good reaction!

  • Wow.  He does not win boss of the year.
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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    edited December 2013
    Nice...
    and ugh sorry ;(
    I missed the question about Hr, agreed ere is nothing to go to hr about except understanding your own leave, etc.
  • While his response was rather cold and impersonal, there's nothing to report to HR. He wasn't mean to you, he didn't threaten you; the fact that he didn't jump for joy and hug you and congratulate you is not an HR worthy complaint. He just learned that his employee of 4 whole months is pregnant and will be asking for a lot of time off and extended leave soon (though, like the a previous poster pointed out, you won't be eligible for FMLA or STD). Suck it up, go to the budget department and tell them; it's in your best interest to work with them on this. You unfortunately will be at their mercy - if you wanted to keep this job.
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  • I would talk to HR so you can find out what your leave options are. As pp pointed out you will not be eligible for FMLA but you may still be covered under STD. I'm sorry your boss was so rude, but stay positive and hopefully the company will be willing to work with you. Sending you hugs and prayers for your babies.
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  • He lacks finesse but he didn't do anything wrong.  Budgeting DOES need to know how to handle this.  Generally temporary employees cost more than regular employees because they also have to pay an agency fee.  It actually sounds like this is a good thing for you because he seems to be implying they intend to keep you on and need  to understand how to budget for a temporary replacement while you're out.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • You are probably fine with FMLA - I got pregnant about 3 months into my new job and my HR said as long as baby waited to show up after my 1 year work anniversary, I was fine. Because you need the leave after the baby shoes up, not while pregnant. FMLA is just job protection (no paid leave or anything like that tied to it) so as long as you feel confident your office will welcome you back after your desired about of leave, you don't need to worry about baby coming before your 1 year mark FMLA eligibility

    All that said, that sucks that was your boss' reaction. Hopefully he'll have a better attitude about it as time passes
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  • Diamondduck, she's already 3 months pregnant. In 6 months she'll have been there 10 months. She's not going to be eligible for FMLA unless she somehow manages to stay pregnant for 11 months.
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  • Maybride2 said:

    Diamondduck, she's already 3 months pregnant. In 6 months she'll have been there 10 months. She's not going to be eligible for FMLA unless she somehow manages to stay pregnant for 11 months.

    Oops, reading comprehension/math fail. For some reason I read that as got pregnant at 4 months into the job. We've had a seriously exhausting weekend. Hopefully its the exhaustion and not stupidity ;)
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  • Thanks for the insight girls. I have been at this company for a few years, but in this dept only for a few months so I am eligible for FMLA. I guess I just felt like my position may be in jeopardy since he brought up the whole budget thing. I am also due for my annual raise so I am assuming it won't go too well.
    Me:35,  DH: 39   
    TTC since March 2011. All bloodword, SA & HSG are normal.  
    8/12: Clomid & TI - BFN 
    10/12: Colmid & TI - BFN 
    3/13:  Clomid, Trigger & IUI - BFN 
    4/13: Gonal F, Trigger & IUI: BFN  
    6/13: IVF #1 (1AA blast & 1BB blast) = BFN 
    8/13: FET #1= BFN
    10/13: FET #2= BFP!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker  image
  • I would talk to HR to find out what you are covered for if you have to go out early and what your maternity leave benefits are. Your boss sounds like a jerk but I don't think he necessarily did anything wrong. I understand you wanted to keep this quiet for now but it sounds like he's a little stressed about it and unfortunately you will have to deal with this now. After you talk to HR then talk to people in budgeting.

    I do hope that your PG gets better and sorry you have to deal with a jerky boss.

     

  • Thanks for the insight girls. I have been at this company for a few years, but in this dept only for a few months so I am eligible for FMLA. I guess I just felt like my position may be in jeopardy since he brought up the whole budget thing. I am also due for my annual raise so I am assuming it won't go too well.
    Since you're FMLA eligible, your job isn't in jeopardy. I'm absolutely sure he just means that they need to figure out how to pay for the temp.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • elmoali said:
    Thanks for the insight girls. I have been at this company for a few years, but in this dept only for a few months so I am eligible for FMLA. I guess I just felt like my position may be in jeopardy since he brought up the whole budget thing. I am also due for my annual raise so I am assuming it won't go too well.
    Since you're FMLA eligible, your job isn't in jeopardy. I'm absolutely sure he just means that they need to figure out how to pay for the temp.

    This. But he's still a total douche.
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  • Im sorry that is the reaction you received.  I know it is frustrating.  My boss said "congrats but all im thinking about is maternity leave" and she is a nun.  You would expect a little more but unfortunately it is all business to some people

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  • I'm on Team "This Guy is a Douche." If you know anyone in HR, when asking about your benefits, I would drop that you were a little disappointed in the reaction. You understand where he's coming from, but it was still a little hurtful. I wouldn't lodge it as a complaint, just sort of obliquely put them on notice that the guy has been insensitive. Again, though,I would only do this with someone in HR you know pretty well already.
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