I need some brutal honesty. Am I over reacting?

raeah219 · December 2013

I want to change my sons daycare. Every time I pick him up his nose is gross with snot and crust. His shirt is drenched in drool, despite the fact that we send him with a bib on. Yesterday when I picked him up there were 9 one year olds and 1 teacher. The teacher was clearly overwhelmed and while i was there a child fell face first on the hard tile floor and the girl was like "see! This is why I like working with my two year olds" (She was substituting in a different room this day). When I pick my son up I often sit around and watch for 5-10 minutes to see how they interact with the other kids. They are always sweet to my baby (Im assuming thats because Im there) but they treat the other kids with a sense of frustration and lack of care or compassion. My fiance feels that I am over reacting. He says that I cant expect them to take care of my son as well as I do. I guess I agree with that, but they could definitely do better. We have a meeting with the director today. If I dont see a drastic change soon then I want to move him.

djm31012 · December 2013

if you arent comfortable for any reason, then no you arent over reacting and you should make a change. 9 kids to 1 teacher? that doesnt seem legal...is this a large day care ctr? we have a 4:1 ratio so that would be a huge red flag for me. The crusty nose..meh...its gross dont get me wrong and i think our center does a good job of wiping DS, etc...but they cant get it every time, his nose is constantly running!

can you have a sit down with the director and ask some questions/address your concerns? like i said tho, it doesnt matter how big or small the issue..if u arent comfortable, look at other alternatives. maybe a nanny or au pair would work better for you if you prefer one on one attention.

raeah219 · December 2013

The law is 6:1 here so they were over the limit

financialdiva · December 2013

If they were out of ratio, then you are not overreacting. One of the (many) reasons I pulled my DS1 from his first center after I dropped off and picked up a couple of times and they were out of ratio.

I would start looking.

wychets · December 2013

If I wasn't comfortable with my DC I wouldn't send DD there. The crusty nose I don't like it but hey they can't keep up with it or they would be wiping her nose the whole day. Being out of ratio is a huge deal breaker for me and is against the law. GL!

alli2672 · December 2013

That doesn't sound good. I would set up some appointments to start touring other childcare centers tomorrow.

VOR · December 2013

The ratio and the fact that they seem frustrated w/ the kids - I'd be looking for those reasons.

Snot and drool? No, I wouldn't care. People have trouble cleaning off just their ONE child, much less trying to keep up after 6 kids at a time!

traveltheworld · December 2013

You are no over-reacting. I would switch.

eec129 · December 2013

I would switch just at the sight of seeing the teachers treat children with frustration...let alone being totally out of ratio and the other things you mention.

daisy662 · December 2013

Snot and drool are par for the course with kids. That wouldn't bother me. The rest would, and it would be looking for a new place. Our ratio in the infant room was 4:1 and that seemed like a lot. 9:1? No way.

plus12012 · December 2013

I pulled my DD out of her daycare for almost the same reason about 2 months ago. It was the best decision I could have made. It seemed like she was happy there but, once she started at the new daycare and seeing how she reacts to the other kiddos and her DC providers it was clear to see that she is much happier where she is now. She's too young to share what goes on in her day (she's 1) so we have no way of really knowing what went on at the other DC but, she is clearly happier now.

ccam · December 2013

The snot and drool don't bother me that much, but the ratios do. And the place obviously isn't sitting well with you, so I would be looking elsewhere.

emberlee3 · December 2013

I disagree with your DH. Your DCP should love on your child. Find a new DCP.

sugarbear0524 · December 2013

The ratios would bother me enough to switch.

The drool and snot happen, but I hate picking up a dirty child too. Especially when I see on his diaper changing list that they changed him recently. Can you not run a wipe over his face? Snot is one thing, but if it's crusty and gross, it's been there for a while.

laurakaz13 · December 2013

Nicb13 said:

daisy662 said:

Snot and drool are par for the course with kids. That wouldn't bother me. The rest would, and it would be looking for a new place. Our ratio in the infant room was 4:1 and that seemed like a lot. 9:1? No way.

Agreed. DS is a complete mess when he comes home from my mom's house. I just bathe him more often

Also agree with all of this.

laurakaz13 · December 2013

Oh and I will tell you that I have been in love with DD's daycare since she started at 4 months old. They are super strict with the rules, love the kids and are super creative. I've cried when she's graduated to new classrooms b/c I've loved her teachers so much.

You need to change!

brandy4nicole · December 2013

I'd change. Feeling frustrated at times is normal; showing it to those precious babies is not ok. Being comfortable with those who care for your LO is essential, so you can work and feel at ease that they are taking the best care of him.

RibbitGrl930 · December 2013

I'm with the other ladies. I wouldn't be as concerned with the drool and boogers as the ratios. That's not legal and, most importantly, not safe. Ratios are in place for a reason, and a DC not adhering to that is setting them up for lawsuits down the road. That would be way too scary for me. I think you're going the right way having a sit-down with the director.

BeeGirl2 · December 2013

It's called Mama intuition... If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't

wychets · December 2013

BeeGirl2 said:
It's called Mama intuition... If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't

This 100%. Trust your gut. My "motto" is if I have to sit & think about something that involves DD then my answer is no.

raeah219 · December 2013

Thank you ladies so much! I really appreciate your feedback. We meet with the director today, but Im truly leaning towards a change no matter how this meeting goes. Ive already set up appointments to view 2 new places

daisy662 · December 2013

Sounds like a good plan. Let us know how it goes today!

Mustardseed2007 · December 2013

Yeah as everyone has said, the ratio part is the biggest problem you've mentioned...combined with the attitude of that person in the room (and I'm sure she was overwhelmed but STILL).

She has ZERO common sense if she tells the mother of a 1 year old that she prefers 2 year olds b/c the younger ones fall down too much. Holy heck.

For that age the ratio is 1:6 in my state so being that far out of ratio, especially in a chaotic classroom with an overwhelmed teacher is SO not cool. That's when serious accidents etc. happen.

mommatotwo2 · December 2013

I'm coming in late on this post- but I wanted to say, I agree with the other posters, being over ratio is a huge red flag for me. Frustrated teachers is another red flag. It's normal to feel frustrated, and we've all felt frustrated before with our children and at our jobs, but you need to be professional and not show it to the "clients" (ie: parents, in this case). I personally disagree with your fiance, you are paying these people to take good care of your child and while nobody can do the same exact job we do with our babies, they should still do a good job. I don't think the kid should be coming home with a dirty face though, whether that's snot, food, dirt, whatever. They change them every 2 hours, it takes 10 seconds to run a wipe over their face at that time.

MNgirl326 · December 2013

Snot and drool wouldn't bother me, but the over ratio bad attitude would.

Talk to the director, let her know your concerns. And then if it stills feels bad, start looking for a new place.

CaliforniaDream87 · December 2013

Agree that if you aren't comfortable find another center!

suzienickles36 · December 2013

There were things at my son's first childcare facility that I didn't like, but I kept pushing it off thinking I was an overreacting first time mom. I finally made the decision to switch him after months of searching, and was scared still at first for some reason. It was the best decision. He has the most awesome teacher and does fun things every day. I think I was hesitant because all of the little things had added up at his old place and I thought it couldn't be better for some reason. I would definitely look and follow your gut! I now don't worry about him like I used to