- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
ambrvan
member
holidays with blended families *vent*
ambrvan
member
I told DH that this year I wanted to take the kids to the zoo a few hours away for their Christmas light exhibit and other stuff. We talked about this back in October. We have talked about it several times. He doesn't care either way, it's more something I want to do with them. Anyway, just last week, I mentioned that I was really working on trying to find a time for all of us to go.
So this weekend SD is supposed to be home with us and I looked at my calendar at work. My Saturday rotation just switched and I am now off on the weekends SD is home (I was working every weekend she was home before). So I think, "Dude, this is awesome! We are both off this weekend and SD is home. Sweet!" So I text DH immediately to let him know that this weekend will work perfect for us to go out of town.
He then informs me that SD is going to BM this weekend since she hasn't been the last two times she was supposed to go. Rewind a little:
BM gets SD EOW Fri6p-Sun6p. Grandparents supervise.
First forfeited visit - grandfather had great attack while SD was with him that Friday night. SD came home immediately, of course.
We kept SD the filtering weekend as it was it scheduled time anyway
Second forfeited visit, last weekend: grandma has Shingles. Claimed they don't want SD to get chicken pox (she has had the vaccine). No problem.
This weekend, our scheduled time. DH informs me that SD is going to BM's only after I say something about finally having find time to go out of town.
One, I'm poised he didn't tell me about this. Had he not told me and they showed up tomorrow to pick her up I would not have let her go because I would not have known. He will be working tomorrow so he wouldn't be there to handle it. This is his mistake and thoughtlessness.
Second, I'm pissed that this is the ONLY weekend that works out like this. Next weekend is an option for me to take the kids without DH. But next weekend is BM's scheduled time. I texted H to find out if this is a make up weekend and they will be getting her next weekend, as well, our if this is just going to start us on a different EOW rotation, which would piss me off either way. If they get her next weekend also then we will have no opportunity to go out if town. If this is going to be us switching EOW rotations, then that means me switching my Saturday rotations at work was for nothing.
And third, I'm just pissed that I am having to switch stuff around someone else's schedule.
Let me say that I don't mind BM making up her time since it was all for legitimate reasons, but this last minute and H not telling me crap is not ok.
So I've thought about it and decided that since there is nothing I can do, I'll plan on taking DS or if town with just me this weekend and going to do something different. I don't want to do the zoo thing without SD, but I don't want to give up all of my Christmas plans because DH can't tell me yes or no about her being here next weekend and didn't prepare me for her not being here this weekend.
Also, DS' s birthday is Monday and instead of trying to plan a party I'm just inviting family for cake on Sunday evening. MIL has nut let me know yet whether or not that is ok with her. I say this sarcastically because you all know how she likes to plan everything and take over everything for the kids and gets pissed if it doesn't go her way.
Oh and last of all, I'm ticked that even my inner dialogue sounds so bratty and childish over all this. I'm letting it get to me, and I know better. I feel tired and cranky and like I could just growl at people today. And I mean seriously growl like a dog. Or maybe a cat screech...
So this weekend SD is supposed to be home with us and I looked at my calendar at work. My Saturday rotation just switched and I am now off on the weekends SD is home (I was working every weekend she was home before). So I think, "Dude, this is awesome! We are both off this weekend and SD is home. Sweet!" So I text DH immediately to let him know that this weekend will work perfect for us to go out of town.
He then informs me that SD is going to BM this weekend since she hasn't been the last two times she was supposed to go. Rewind a little:
BM gets SD EOW Fri6p-Sun6p. Grandparents supervise.
First forfeited visit - grandfather had great attack while SD was with him that Friday night. SD came home immediately, of course.
We kept SD the filtering weekend as it was it scheduled time anyway
Second forfeited visit, last weekend: grandma has Shingles. Claimed they don't want SD to get chicken pox (she has had the vaccine). No problem.
This weekend, our scheduled time. DH informs me that SD is going to BM's only after I say something about finally having find time to go out of town.
One, I'm poised he didn't tell me about this. Had he not told me and they showed up tomorrow to pick her up I would not have let her go because I would not have known. He will be working tomorrow so he wouldn't be there to handle it. This is his mistake and thoughtlessness.
Second, I'm pissed that this is the ONLY weekend that works out like this. Next weekend is an option for me to take the kids without DH. But next weekend is BM's scheduled time. I texted H to find out if this is a make up weekend and they will be getting her next weekend, as well, our if this is just going to start us on a different EOW rotation, which would piss me off either way. If they get her next weekend also then we will have no opportunity to go out if town. If this is going to be us switching EOW rotations, then that means me switching my Saturday rotations at work was for nothing.
And third, I'm just pissed that I am having to switch stuff around someone else's schedule.
Let me say that I don't mind BM making up her time since it was all for legitimate reasons, but this last minute and H not telling me crap is not ok.
So I've thought about it and decided that since there is nothing I can do, I'll plan on taking DS or if town with just me this weekend and going to do something different. I don't want to do the zoo thing without SD, but I don't want to give up all of my Christmas plans because DH can't tell me yes or no about her being here next weekend and didn't prepare me for her not being here this weekend.
Also, DS' s birthday is Monday and instead of trying to plan a party I'm just inviting family for cake on Sunday evening. MIL has nut let me know yet whether or not that is ok with her. I say this sarcastically because you all know how she likes to plan everything and take over everything for the kids and gets pissed if it doesn't go her way.
Oh and last of all, I'm ticked that even my inner dialogue sounds so bratty and childish over all this. I'm letting it get to me, and I know better. I feel tired and cranky and like I could just growl at people today. And I mean seriously growl like a dog. Or maybe a cat screech...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: holidays with blended families *vent*
I agree with Cole though don't make your son miss out
And truthfully, it's mostly her parents pushing visitation and what not. Had the time she isn't even there. But SD actually wants to visit them now, and it relationship with them has improved so as long as we know SD is safe and that she is with GPs the whole time, we're trying to stay peaceful now. The better relationship we can foster with the GPs, the more they are willing to cooperate. And it appears that they have been making a sincere effort.
I did talk to DH. I told him if he makes a decision, fine, but I need to know ASAP if I'm not part of the decision and that I need to be part of the decision if it means that I may be affected by it.
@Littlejen22 - Mobile bumping always makes me look dumb, but it's too difficult to go back on my phone and edit all of it. My apologies to your eyes and brain. Lol
Things would be so much easier if everything was supervised by an unbiased third party. BM isn't even there but for a few hours total in the weekend that SD goes. Ugh, does anyone wise realize that this makes no sense...