Gift giving to execs-vent

LoCarb · December 2013

I'm very opinionated on this topic and feel exec's (in my company) receive higher salary and yr end bonuses. IF gift giving were to happen it should flow down the chain of command, not up.

This yr, a co-worker had asked our group to pitch in money for 3 higher ups for gift baskets. One being my immediate mgr which I have no quams with. He is always doing something for his team. The other two are actual execs (VP level) who oversee several groups. Gifts were never exchanged in the past. I voiced my opinion on the topic and mentioned if our group buys something this year it will most likely cause tension between other groups and future gift giving competition. Basically, I was over-ruled.

Vent over. Feel free to commiserate and/or share how you company handles holiday gifts.

jf198400 · December 2013

That sounds annoying, and I agree with you. At all of the jobs I have worked at we did a gift swap in our department, anyone who wants to participate, not mandatory. I think that works well and it's a fun event.

financialdiva · December 2013

That is extremely frustrating about the VP's and I can definitely understand your concerns. Thankfully, our company actually has a rule that we can not gift up.

FemShep · December 2013

Gifts should flow down. And the only time I've felt comfortable accepting a gift from someone I manage or who was junior to me was when there was a real friendship outside the office or the gift was homemade (I admit it, I'll take cookies from anyone).

rubber_chicken · December 2013

Gift giving to superiors is SO SO inappropriate.

ccam · December 2013

I wouldn't be on board with that either. Actually, if people did that at our workplace, it would be seen as a kiss ass sort of thing. The only gift giving at work is those co-workers who are really close here and outside of work. And we also do a $10 grab bag at our in office holiday party which is not mandatory and ends up being more of a joke thing anyway. That's about it.

mae0111 · December 2013

I agree that they shouldn't be taking up a collection, but I give gifts to superiors. Not all of them, and not anything big - bottle of wine, perhaps - to show my appreciation for all they've done for me and my team over the year. My boss, and in prior years, his former boss (both high level execs within our company), went way above and beyond to show support for me and my team, personally and professionally. A small token and a nice note have been appreciated, but I'd never ask anyone on my team, or any of my peers, to participate.

emberlee3 · December 2013

I think it is ridiculous. I am a physician. I give gifts to the nurses, case managers, therapists, and other staff I work with. I would be mortified if they pitched in to give me a gift.

ETA: I mean I give treats, flowers, gift cards, etc. depending on how closely we work together.

daisy662 · December 2013

As an exec, I would feel awkward if my direct reports bought me gifts. A couple of them do, but it's homemade goodies, or a small thoughtful token. But to take up a collection, ya, I wouldn't like that. I buy my reports a gift each year as well as I will bring in food treats for my business partners.

Mustardseed2007 · December 2013

My boss is an exec and I always give something small to him or go in with the other person in our department who celebrates Christmas. Last year I actually gave him a 10 dollar gift card to Whataburger cause he's always going there and we kid him about it; it was like a semi gag gift really.

I'm definitely not off giving gifts to anyone outside our department, that would be so weird.

itsmevkb · December 2013

I always find it strange when people don't seem to really get that at the holidays bossess should be the ones giving, not the other way around. I'll never forget when I started the job I have now and found out that the holiday party every year was organized and paid for by the reports and thrown for the execs. How backwards is that? Thankfully, that finally ended a few years back although some of the execs still mention how much they miss the party. Yea, I'm sure they do.

litzo27 · December 2013

Wow, I agree with all PP. Gifts should flow down not up! I think you should stand your ground and in place of your VPs if that was sprung on me I would make it clear for future years that a gift should not be organized.

traveltheworld · December 2013

I work in BigLaw as an associate and we get a Christmas bonus every year from the partners, then we in turn give gifts to our assistants. No one would have thought to give the partners gifts unless we have close personal relationships and are friends outside of work. My assistant does give me a gift every year - she makes these awesome lemon tarts that I love so she gives me a dozen of them every year and every since I had DS, she has gotten him a little something as well. I think it's super sweet. But again, that's because my assistant and I are actually quite close.

traveltheworld · December 2013

To add - if I were you, I'd not chip in to the gifts to the execs.

groovygrl · December 2013

I am so loving this post. I also feel it should flow down but the apparent culture in my dept before I got there was gifts all around, for holiday AND bday. I told them last year (I had JUST started) that I did not want a gift, they still got me something (there are only 2 of them though). I again said please no bday gift & frankly I really didn't want to give them bday gifts but again I got a bday gift. Then it was one person's bday and I got that person something REALLY small b/c it was awkward. The other person has a bday close to xmas so I will do a combo gift. Once again I have told them I would really prefer no gift but I know they'll give me one.
Then it comes to my own boss. Last year b/c I think it was the norm in the dept, one of hte ppl in my dept got my boss a small gift that was from all of us & I chipped in (they were reporting to my boss in the interim period before i started). I got the impression it was the cultural norm where we work in general so this year I was planning on donating $ to a charity in her name... then I talked to a few other ppl and asked if they give her anything & they said no. Argh....
So glad others feel the way I do... The only exception I think is appropriate is if a boss is leaving and the person & boss had a good relationship, I can see a small gift being given (though certainly not expected or necessary). I think pp's situation w/ a really small close group could be appropriate also, but you could also run into a situation of someone feeling obligated & not being able to say no...

Five Months to Plan · December 2013

It's a little different for me because I work in a school, but we always used to buy our supervisors gifts (usually a collection for gift cards) last year the admins got together and asked us not to buy any of them gifts, but instead we can give money ( or items) and they make gift baskets for needy families. We did this last year and it was awesome. A couple people collect the money and organize the baskets. We can help make them or just give money, but then they are given away. My supervisor still chooses to give us a small gift, but we all give money towards the baskets.

csbucher · December 2013

I would feel really bad if my assistant spent money on me (though i would never pass down her cookies). Does your work have an anonymous comment box? I would put a note in saying gifting up makes you feel awkward.

JLS0320 · December 2013

I just sent $20 to contribute to my boss's gift card, only to find out so far only one other person contributed. Another teammate arranged it and bought him a $150 gift card, money is tight but I didn't want to be the only one that didn't donate. I'd much prefer not to give gifts to bosses

laurakaz13 · December 2013

I work for the federal government and we are not allowed to gift "up" either. We are only allowed to gift $20/max "down" as well.

groovygrl · December 2013

wife07mom09 said:

I also dislike the line of thinking that just because someone makes more money than you they should not get a gift. Kindness is always ok.

I totally agree w/ this, but I think the problem is when it is expected or part of the culture and someone cannot/doesn't want to give up for whatever reason... I think if someone & their boss are very close, it prob would not be a big deal, but what if said person's coworker also reports to that person and they are not close and that person doesn't really want to give the boss a gift or cannot afford it, but feels like a jerk knowing the other person did give one...etc.

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