Great article about the failures of a "perfect mom"

jschmidt6 · December 2013

Thought this article was a great reminder of how trying to be perfect can backfire and hurt those we love the most

https://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/12/10/the-bully-too-close-to-home/

alli2672 · December 2013

Kind of sad.
I hope I never make my kids feel like that.

jschmidt6 · December 2013

I saw this mom at DS' s daycare going to pick up her son. When she went in the building she was on her phone, when she came out with 4 year old in tow 10 minutes later she was still on her phone. She didn't even have the decency to hang up and hug her son and ask about his day. It made me so sad for that little guy.

thedash · December 2013

Wow. I think her case was pretty extreme and it sounds like she was verbally and emotionally abusing her child. I'm glad she changed but that's a lot more severe than just being busy and constantly checking email.

Then again, my kid is the one at preschool wearing mismatched socks and two different mittens just because he likes to. My standard for acceptable daily functioning is pretty far below perfect.

laurakaz13 · December 2013

thedash said:

Wow. I think her case was pretty extreme and it sounds like she was verbally and emotionally abusing her child. I'm glad she changed but that's a lot more severe than just being busy and constantly checking email.

I agree. I can't relate at all with this woman, but I'm glad she stopped her semi-abusive behavior. I was so sad for her daughter reading this and think the author must have some anger issues to deal with. Glad she's realized it and is fixing it.

Nechie122 · December 2013

jschmidt6 said:
I saw this mom at DS' s daycare going to pick up her son. When she went in the building she was on her phone, when she came out with 4 year old in tow 10 minutes later she was still on her phone. She didn't even have the decency to hang up and hug her son and ask about his day. It made me so sad for that little guy.

Your reaction is a little harsh. Does she do that everyday?

I've definitely been that mom taking work calls in my car at 6pm because daycare is closing so I can't do them from my office. I've definitely been that mom answering work e-mails while having breakfast with DD before school because it's either that or we don't have breakfast together.

I'm actually not that much of a perfectionist when it comes to balancing work and motherhood. I strive to just do sometimes. It's other people's expectations for how I'm "supposed" to act that I find stifling.

CarrieB. · December 2013

I read that and just thought she was trying to sell a parenting book. I don't really believe it. It was too smug.

RioG1978 · December 2013

CarrieB. said:

I read that and just thought she was trying to sell a parenting book. I don't really believe it. It was too smug.

Yeah, I have to agree. If the book is as poorly written as the blog post... yikes.

CaliforniaDream87 · December 2013

Definitely disturbing for me. No child is perfect.

SunAndRain · December 2013

RioG1978 said:

CarrieB. said:

I read that and just thought she was trying to sell a parenting book. I don't really believe it. It was too smug.

Yeah, I have to agree. If the book is as poorly written as the blog post... yikes.

Another agree. I don't care for her style of writing at all.

laurakaz13 · December 2013

SunAndRain said:

CarrieB. said:

I read that and just thought she was trying to sell a parenting book. I don't really believe it. It was too smug.

Yeah, I have to agree. If the book is as poorly written as the blog post... yikes.
Another agree. I don't care for her style of writing at all.

Ah, good points!

emberlee3 · December 2013

RioG1978 said:

CarrieB. said:

I read that and just thought she was trying to sell a parenting book. I don't really believe it. It was too smug.

Yeah, I have to agree. If the book is as poorly written as the blog post... yikes.

This. I honestly can't believe she has a book. I also can't really relate to her issues. I am very comfortable being an imperfect mother.

jschmidt6 · December 2013

PrivacyWanted said:

Nechie122 said:

jschmidt6 said:
I saw this mom at DS' s daycare going to pick up her son. When she went in the building she was on her phone, when she came out with 4 year old in tow 10 minutes later she was still on her phone. She didn't even have the decency to hang up and hug her son and ask about his day. It made me so sad for that little guy.
Your reaction is a little harsh. Does she do that everyday?

I've definitely been that mom taking work calls in my car at 6pm because daycare is closing so I can't do them from my office. I've definitely been that mom answering work e-mails while having breakfast with DD before school because it's either that or we don't have breakfast together.

I'm actually not that much of a perfectionist when it comes to balancing work and motherhood. I strive to just do sometimes. It's other people's expectations for how I'm "supposed" to act that I find stifling.

Agreed. I raise my eyebrows at the mom I see doing this every single day, but I've also been the mom who sometimes has to pick up while listening to a conference call on mute too, both during drop off and pick up since I have clients on both coasts

This was definitely not a work phone call I witnessed, and the dejected look on the kid's face said it all.

jschmidt6 · December 2013

Yeah you're right. She was wearing a McDonalds shirt and talking about some drama that happened over the weekend. It was a definitely a business call.

lifeisbetteronthered · December 2013

I am guilty of talking on my phone/ working on my computer while I'm with DH & DD. Sometimes it's inexcusable, sometimes it isn't. If I have to choose between not seeing DD one day, and seeing her, but working on a presentation at the same time, I'll pick working and watching every time. An outsider can judge. But I know that doing my best at work now is in our family's best interest.

Judge that mom in her phone all you want. But know that some one else will be judging you. And you dont know her life any better then they know yours.

PunkyBooster · December 2013

I admit I can be a stifling perfectionist but I breathed a sigh of relief after reading that when ds spilled a bowl of Cheerios all over the floor and he said, "ooop I spilled my bowl oh that's ok!"
Whew.

PunkyBooster · December 2013

And I see where the pp is coming from. I'm not feeling quite the same about it but I see where she is coming from.

Ds preschool has a cell free policy you cannot pick your child up if you're on the phone.

I personally think it's fair, but it works for me. I have the flexibility at work to reschedule calls that interfere with my time with ds, usually. But not everyone has that kind of flexibility (and luckily, I have a great client base!)

glaw · December 2013

Wait - I truly don't get this article. The failure of a "perfect mom"? This mom in this article was (and perhaps still is) HORRIBLE! She was never perfect. Just b/c things look good from the outside and she was timely to her appointments does not make her perfect. She's the opposite of perfect. If she truly had a wake up call, good for her and her kids. Otherwise, I agree, she's just trying to sell a dumb book. I can't believe she thought she was being "perfect" when she was yelling at her kids and trying to just keep up a fake outer appearance. I would never describe this witch as perfect. She must be so high on herself to ever think she was. What a nut job.

mon611 · December 2013

The formerly strict mom is finally relieved and reformed by the sense of guilt she had developed for paying extra attention to the outside world instead of providing a loving relationship with her children. That`s adorable. I liked the article, and I hope never to undergo this unpalatable experience in my newly stepping into motherhood.

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