Working Moms

Unhappy Boss, Unhappy Office?

Apparently my supervisor was here until about 8 pm last (making her day a 13 hour shift). I always ask her to please text/call if she needs anything at all, and I will come in. She never does, but when our leadership (I'm in the military so it's all a chain of command) is on her back about getting things done, her attitude is shitty and I feel like she takes it out on her subordinates. Not to an extreme, but in her tone and mood. Like today, I feel like I have to walk on thin ice because she is stressed. I'm doing my best- asking her if she needs any help, ect. As usual, she is telling me "no". I know I'm probably taking this way too personal and I will be sure to stay on my P's and Q's. Does anyone feel like their supervision's attitude will dictate how the entire day will go? If your boss is feeling crappy, how does that affect your attitude?
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Re: Unhappy Boss, Unhappy Office?

  • Others behaviors/moods do affect me and can put me in a bad or good mood. When my mgr or anyone is in a bad mood I try to give as much space and little interaction.
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  • edited December 2013
    I am dealing with the same thing, only my boss gets extremely nasty and uses harsh language and her issues aren't even work related! She has gotten increasingly nasty over the last year and I am actually waiting to hear back from HR. Before I just put my head down and kept going but now we have internal customers who are coming to me for help as they cannot deal with her and her nasty attitude. When someone (manager or not) starts telling you that you "aren't smart enough to get it" for no reason or uses abusive tone/language I draw the line. No one deserves to be treated that way.
    OMG! I feel bad for even complaining about my boss- she has never been this bad. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that and good on your for going to the HR! If I had to work under these conditions I'd insist on moving to another office completely. A few years back we did have someone in our office this bad, and after bringing it up the Chain of Command, her attitude instantly changed. She was having marital issues turns out, but that's still no way to treat your co-workers.
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  • K3am said:
    My only advice aside from what PP's are saying would be to offer specific help vs. just an offer to help, if you can. Which still may not work.

    I am in a crap situation at work right now, my portfolio is in a mess, and throughout the day I've got various deadlines to meet, all of which seem to conflict with each other.  I've gotten offers of help from a few people, but a lot of the time, just stopping to take the time to determine what if anything they can do to help out just slows me down even more. Occasionally, I'll have someone who knows what's going on, my portfolio, and what needs to be done well enough that they can offer something specific - "do you want me to pull up a list of pending charges, cross reference to vendors and get a prelim list of possible returns for you to have when you call the company" is something that I can easily delegate and is a HUGE help. 

    But the vague "anything I can do to help?" requests aren't always much of a help, and most of the time I'd rather not get them. (And it probably also explains why people who don't know me well steer clear when it's hitting the fan. )
    @K3am I never know what she specifically has going on. We are in the middle of an inspection and my program was spot on with no findings, so whatever load of work she has isn't because of my area of expertise. We work on the computer all day and we have an instant messaging system- I wrote her saying "Ma'am, is there anything that I could possibly help you with" and she gave me a vague "just keep your area clean and make sure the other Airmen are working." This leads me to believe that whatever she is working on is above my pay grade and there's nothing more that I can do.
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  • I am dealing with the same thing, only my boss gets extremely nasty and uses harsh language and her issues aren't even work related! She has gotten increasingly nasty over the last year and I am actually waiting to hear back from HR. Before I just put my head down and kept going but now we have internal customers who are coming to me for help as they cannot deal with her and her nasty attitude. When someone (manager or not) starts telling you that you "aren't smart enough to get it" for no reason or uses abusive tone/language I draw the line. No one deserves to be treated that way.
    OMG! I feel bad for even complaining about my boss- she has never been this bad. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that and good on your for going to the HR! If I had to work under these conditions I'd insist on moving to another office completely. A few years back we did have someone in our office this bad, and after bringing it up the Chain of Command, her attitude instantly changed. She was having marital issues turns out, but that's still no way to treat your co-workers.
    The crazy thing is that it has been addressed before and she even treats her boss this way. I have been feverishly sending out my resume to find a new job so I can get out of here. I had already gone to HR in the spring as she was trying to tell me I had to stop taking pumping breaks because my DS was getting close to one and it was unnecessary...she has also flat out excluded me from work related meetings because I didn't send her a picture of my son the day he was born. She is freaking nuts!
    WHATTTT! I'm sorry but this would have made me absolutely livid!! I pumped for a year to supply food for DS and if anyone had ever tried to make me stop I would've gone straight to the Inspector General. I am upset for you!
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  • I'm a boss and I have a boss.

    I guess I don't understand why she's not asking for help? That seems so counterproductive to fixing her actual problem. If I'm stressed I know that it rolls down hill somewhat, even if it's not my intention, b/c I usually AM asking for help and I involve my department in the project unless I simply can't (in which case they probably know I'm stressed but I'm not talking b/c I'm concentrating so hopefully that doesn't bother people). Also, if I realize something was not done right and I'm fixing it in a rush or something, I make sure everyone knows that there was a problem. I try not to be mean about it, but if I'm not firm in my tone and body language, it seems like my directives get ignored.

    If MY boss is upset, then he gets really upset. It never lasts more than a day and he will often actually apologize to all the staff afterwards. Sometimes people just get emotional. Of course, there is emotional and then there is being a jerk b/c you can since you're the boss.


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  • I think if you offered to help and she didn't take you up on it, then that is her problem.   As you said, it might just be something you cannot help with.  I would just focus on doing your job and keep some distance.
  • Thank you everyone. She has seemed to ease up a lot since the beginning of the day. Maybe she was just flustered with everything that she had to get done and now that it's over, she's back to being normal. I appreciate the advice!
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