Feeling very overwhelmed..

crene84 · December 2013

DD continues to get tests for this "kidney issue" they say she has..no real answers still, but today the dr called to say one of her tests came back low (her citrate levels), so they want to put her on a daily medicine..2x/day. I keep reminding myself that this could be worse, but I am so frustrated that I have to start giving my 14 month old meds every day..two times a day...

And DS (2.5 weeks old) spits up so much. DD did not do this. So I am not sure if my breast milk isn't agreeing with him (if I'm eating the wrong things), or if this is just how he is right now..the first week and a half he was so great. He'd eat and then go right back to sleep (including in the middle of the night)...but now every time he eats, he seems so uncomfortable and fussy. I haven't called my pedi yet, because everything I read makes it seem normal, especially since he seems to be gaining weight really well still, but ugh I just feel like both my kids have these issues and there is nothing I can do about it!

I think sleep deprivation is making everything seem much worse than it is...

plus12012 · December 2013

You should ask your Dr. if it's possible your DS might have acid reflux. It was about 3 weeks to a month that they started DD on acid reflux medicine and it instantly made life easier.

hmp1 · December 2013

Sorry you have so much on your plate right now. Sounds like it could be reflux or something you are eating. Hopefully some girls that did an elimination diet can chime in with tips to see if that helps.

OceanLover26 · December 2013

I'm sorry, hang in there!

ellebee2 · December 2013

No tips really that haven't been mentioned. But hang in there. Sleep deprivation makes everything so much worse. Hopefully both issues get sorted soon.

thebanich · December 2013

DS spit up and had terrible gas until I quit diary and all caffeine. I would check out an elimination diet to see if that helps!

crene84 · December 2013

plus12012 said:

You should ask your Dr. if it's possible your DS might have acid reflux. It was about 3 weeks to a month that they started DD on acid reflux medicine and it instantly made life easier.

In reading all the signs and symptoms of reflux, DS only seems to have the one (spitting up)...do you remember how your dr diagnosed it?

Flamingemu · December 2013

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. Twice a day meds is not a bad thing. L has been on twice a day meds since 3 months.

She had reflux undiagnosed until 3 months. She gained weight very well after the 1 months mark, but spit up constantly and was always fussy during meal-time. We finally figured out she had reflux and a dairy sensitivity. Once dairy was out of my diet and she was on meds she was like a new kid.

Call the pedi or talk to a lactation consultant about the changes you can make to your diet and start the reflux talk now. I still get mad at myself that L was undiagnosed for so long.

Holly_1007 · December 2013

I highly suggest going right to a pedi gi if you think there are any GI issues. Our pedi really wasn't helpful and I partly blame the delay on getting Colby medicine on the fact that our pedi brushed some issues under the rug and really didn't see many breasted babies. I would be more than happy to talk to you about an elimination diet, other things to look for and ways we were able to diagnose dairy intolerance and reflux. I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed right now. It is hard when your babies need medicine but if it makes them feel better and can help figure out a solution to the problem then it is definitely a good thing!

fireflygirl12 · December 2013

So sorry that you are feeling this way. DS had mild reflux where he would spit up often, but not huge volumes and he wasn't really fussy. I'm pretty sure the Fisher Price rock'n'play saved our lives. It was so helpful to put him back down a little bit elevated after eating rather than flat on his back. He slept that way for about the first month.

jocymama · December 2013

First, Hugs! Newborns are super cute and super tough

I agree with PPs you should address the spitting up with your pediatrician and then start some of the suggestions re: your diet. Also, I hope you get everything figured out with your daughter soon. Hang in there it will get easier.

Hyaline · December 2013

There were definitely things I ate that made DD fussier--figured out she had a mild dairy intolerance (not a major allergy, but it upset her stomach if I'd eaten dairy) and beans seemed to cause issues. Unfortunately, it was trial and error. It's dorky, but maybe try a food diary to see if you can link what's causing fussiness to certain items in your diet. Though it might be reflux, most docs can't really diagnose it beyond symptoms as you describe them (there's not a specific test or anything), and if your baby is gaining weight, often are reluctant to medicate if they aren't miserable. And...it might just be that you've got a newborn with a sensitive tummy. Hate to suggest that, but some kiddos are just gassier and fussier than others, IMHO. Spitting up is normal; even spitting up a lot can be normal in that it's not harmful for many kiddos.

I will be honest--if a doc wanted to put my daughter on medication without having a firm diagnosis, I would be squeamish about it. I'm not saying I'd go all anti-pharma on the doc or anything, but I would be pushing for answers before/in conjunction with drugs. I'm hoping he's continuing to run tests or is referring you to someone else, not just writing a scrip and calling his job done, right?

MommaP12 · December 2013

Hugs to you. I feel terrible that you are dealing with mystery health related issues with BOTH kids on top of having a newborn and being sleep deprived. That is so much to bear. Remember, you are doing better than you think you are and stronger than you know. This too shall pass!

The other ladies have given great advice on the spit up concerns.

jhasselt · December 2013

Was he doing ok for the first 3 weeks? I remember with my kids around 3 weeks to a month when nursing was getting easier they would pull off and spit up during and after feedings. I had an oversupply when they started going longer between feedings. So, it was miserable until I was re-regulated. Not sure if that's it, but for us they just ate too much too fast. GL!

Stasi · December 2013

You've got this mama.

Things could be worse, like you said, but it's totally okay to be frustrated, worried, tired...it's part of the job, and you know what? I bet it gets easier and easier. There might be harder days ahead, but I bet overall they just get easier, and you can do it. You're stronger than you think!!

My only piece of advice would be, ask for a little help if you can. A little nap or afternoon off might help you feel energized!! Good luck

crene84 · December 2013

Hyaline said:

There were definitely things I ate that made DD fussier--figured out she had a mild dairy intolerance (not a major allergy, but it upset her stomach if I'd eaten dairy) and beans seemed to cause issues. Unfortunately, it was trial and error. It's dorky, but maybe try a food diary to see if you can link what's causing fussiness to certain items in your diet. Though it might be reflux, most docs can't really diagnose it beyond symptoms as you describe them (there's not a specific test or anything), and if your baby is gaining weight, often are reluctant to medicate if they aren't miserable. And...it might just be that you've got a newborn with a sensitive tummy. Hate to suggest that, but some kiddos are just gassier and fussier than others, IMHO. Spitting up is normal; even spitting up a lot can be normal in that it's not harmful for many kiddos.

I will be honest--if a doc wanted to put my daughter on medication without having a firm diagnosis, I would be squeamish about it. I'm not saying I'd go all anti-pharma on the doc or anything, but I would be pushing for answers before/in conjunction with drugs. I'm hoping he's continuing to run tests or is referring you to someone else, not just writing a scrip and calling his job done, right?

Yea, we're still in the beginning stages..more testing, more appointments..

willy_gert · December 2013

crene84 said:

Hyaline said:

There were definitely things I ate that made DD fussier--figured out she had a mild dairy intolerance (not a major allergy, but it upset her stomach if I'd eaten dairy) and beans seemed to cause issues. Unfortunately, it was trial and error. It's dorky, but maybe try a food diary to see if you can link what's causing fussiness to certain items in your diet. Though it might be reflux, most docs can't really diagnose it beyond symptoms as you describe them (there's not a specific test or anything), and if your baby is gaining weight, often are reluctant to medicate if they aren't miserable. And...it might just be that you've got a newborn with a sensitive tummy. Hate to suggest that, but some kiddos are just gassier and fussier than others, IMHO. Spitting up is normal; even spitting up a lot can be normal in that it's not harmful for many kiddos.

I will be honest--if a doc wanted to put my daughter on medication without having a firm diagnosis, I would be squeamish about it. I'm not saying I'd go all anti-pharma on the doc or anything, but I would be pushing for answers before/in conjunction with drugs. I'm hoping he's continuing to run tests or is referring you to someone else, not just writing a scrip and calling his job done, right?

Yea, we're still in the beginning stages..more testing, more appointments..

And unfortunately with kidneys there isn't always a firm diagnosis to be had. DH takes medication for his citrate levels as well now.

Everyone else has really solid advice for you! Just remember that it is okay to be frustrated and to ask as many question as you want/ feel are necessary to be comfortable with what is going on.

I hope you find something that works to make DS feel better and that the doctors are able to figure out DD's issues!

I agree with Stasi, try to find a way for even the smallest break! It will do wonders for you! You are an awesome mommy and you can do this, but don't be afraid to ask for help! And last but not least, don't forget that S12 is here for you always!

crene84 · December 2013

You ladies are amazing..your kind words and support mean more than you even know right now!

LLBean2012 · December 2013

We had spitting up and general fussiness. Once the pedi saw it live at about 9 weeks in, he recommended switching to soy. She was like a new baby. My mom chose that time to let me know I was lactose intolerant. MOM!!!

bosha711 · December 2013

I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. Dealing with a toddler & a NB is so tough!

DD had reflux, despite still gaining weight. The signs were extreme fussiness after eating, spitting, up, and when I laid her flat, she had a little cough/wheeze.

GL with both of your LOs!

melody921 · December 2013

Hang in there. You're right, sleep deprivation makes everything way worse. I'm sorry you have had so many ups and downs with DD's health. On the bright side, if the meds work, that's one less long-term worry, right? Have you tried gas drops or gripe water for DS? It might be a simple thing that could do the trick.

linzeek44 · December 2013

Sorry you are having an overwhelming time right now.

Do you feel like you could have a strong letdown? Around three weeks is when supply can really pick up and letdown could be strong. Does he ever pop off and you spray milk? Or do you hear him gulping? That can cause some fussiness and spitting up, plus gas and discomfort.

Before doing an elimination diet, I'd probably keep a little food journal and just jot down what you are eating and how he does and look for patterns. Much easier to try that before drastically eliminating a bunch of things.

How long does it take you to get to WakeMed Cary? The breastfeeding group there is AMAZING. Don't know if that's doable for you, but the LC is great and it was a huge positive influence on my breastfeeding experience. They could easily give you free help and ideas. There's a fb group for local BFing moms too. You can PM me if you want and I can add you to it since you are close to here.

crene84 · December 2013

linzeek44 said:

Sorry you are having an overwhelming time right now.

Do you feel like you could have a strong letdown? Around three weeks is when supply can really pick up and letdown could be strong. Does he ever pop off and you spray milk? Or do you hear him gulping? That can cause some fussiness and spitting up, plus gas and discomfort.

Before doing an elimination diet, I'd probably keep a little food journal and just jot down what you are eating and how he does and look for patterns. Much easier to try that before drastically eliminating a bunch of things.

How long does it take you to get to WakeMed Cary? The breastfeeding group there is AMAZING. Don't know if that's doable for you, but the LC is great and it was a huge positive influence on my breastfeeding experience. They could easily give you free help and ideas. There's a fb group for local BFing moms too. You can PM me if you want and I can add you to it since you are close to here.

Thanks! I'm about 25 minutes from WakeMed Cary. I delivered there and was very impressed with the LC we worked with. My pedi mentioned the strong letdown as you suggested and I do think that could be a problem. I am going to try pumping for a couple minutes before feedings to see if I can get the "gush" out before he latches.

crene84 · December 2013

linzeek44 said:

Sorry you are having an overwhelming time right now.

Do you feel like you could have a strong letdown? Around three weeks is when supply can really pick up and letdown could be strong. Does he ever pop off and you spray milk? Or do you hear him gulping? That can cause some fussiness and spitting up, plus gas and discomfort.

Before doing an elimination diet, I'd probably keep a little food journal and just jot down what you are eating and how he does and look for patterns. Much easier to try that before drastically eliminating a bunch of things.

How long does it take you to get to WakeMed Cary? The breastfeeding group there is AMAZING. Don't know if that's doable for you, but the LC is great and it was a huge positive influence on my breastfeeding experience. They could easily give you free help and ideas. There's a fb group for local BFing moms too. You can PM me if you want and I can add you to it since you are close to here.

Sent you a PM, but forgot to ask, did you have that letdown issue? If so, how did you resolve it? I definitely think this could be an issue for us, and again, I plan to pump for a couple minutes before some feedings to see if I notice improvement.

linzeek44 · December 2013

I did have that letdown issue combined with an oversupply. He was getting too much foremilk and the lactose cause mucousy stools and GI pain. Because of the oversupply, I had to block feed, but you probably don't have to worry about that at this point.

For the OALD, I didn't pump it out because pumping makes more milking that was part of the problem. Instead I would get him to trigger a letdown and then spray it elsewhere if it was too strong (bowl to save or burp cloth to toss).

That plus probiotics. And as he got older he liked the faster flow so it was a problem he outgrew. Now I have to massage to get it going faster.

crene84 · December 2013

Yea I was worried about making it worse, but the nurse said as long as I do it when I am going to feed anyhow, and only for a couple minutes, it should be fine. I actually heard of something doing what you did and tried it on the last feeding (since I haven't used my pump yet), but didn't notice any real improvement.

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