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Should I stay home for a while??

TashnBabiiTashnBabii member
in Working Moms
Hi ladies. I recently went back to work. I work at a school as a Therapeutic Staff Support provider and I work basically f/t unless my client does not show up to school. My son is 10 weeks old today, and I'm at work more than I'm home with him. My inlaws are practically raising him. It makes me sad to think that, but it's true. My husband suggested that I stay home until he's about 5 months old. He works full time, but we are trying to save up for a house. Right now we live with his parents, and this is why I went back to work sooner than later. Do you think it's worth it? I feel like I'm missing my son grow up. I don't want to regret working when he gets older.
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Re: Should I stay home for a while??

  • djm31012djm31012 member
    id venture to say most full time positions require you to be at work or away from your child more than you are home. it sucks. that being said, i think you need to give it a few months before you throw in the towel. get yourself into a good routine and make the most out of ur nights and weekends. save errands and chores until after DS is in bed, etc. Give yourself some time to adjust. If 3 mos from now you feel the same way and can afford it....then think about staying home for awhile. I know its cliche but its easier to go to work now while they are so little and dont know the difference. you will much prefer being around when they have acitvities and such that you want to be there for and they want you there for. so if its a matter of working hard for a few years and saving so that you can stay home later..thats the better option IMO.
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  • Virgo17Virgo17 member
    Everyone will tell you to give it some time.  You are just getting back to work, so it is going to feel hard right now.  Yes, you will spend more time at work than with your baby, but it is the quality of your time together than matters.

    And your in laws are not raising your child.  They are caring for him while Mom and Dad are at work. 

    This is a difficult adjustment for all moms, but it will get easier!
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  • mommymegan831mommymegan831 member
    I went back after each of my kids was 6 months.  I loved it.  In your case since you're only talking about staying at home a few more months I wouldn't think it would be worth it for you to stick it out any longer if you don't want to.  Part of the reason I stayed home was because DD went to a sitter who had a few other kids, and DS went to daycare.  I was really uncomfortable with them not being able to move and completely dependent on formula while being in the care of someone I wasn't familiar with.  You have your inlaws caring for him so you know he's getting great care.  I also don't know how comfortable you are with them.  I'd definitely rather go back to work then sitting in a house with my inlaws all day.

    BTW it could be alot worse.  I'm a teacher so I assume we have similar schedules.  I'm home by 3 which I feel gives me time to play with the kids, sit down to a family dinner, and do bedtime.  Alot of parents never see their kids during daylight hours during the week.
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  • Mustardseed2007Mustardseed2007 member
    FemShep said:
    Whether or not you choose to work is a very personal decision, and only you and your DH can look at your finances, your lifestyle, your career goals, and whether or not it makes sense for you to stay home.

    I will say that for me, personally, if I was living with my ILs to save money, not working wouldn't be an option.

    I'll also say, as a mom of 2 (8yo and 18mo), my girls absolutely know who their mom is.  They've both been at daycare since 10 weeks, and there's never been a question in their minds or mine who has raised them, who loves them more than anything, and who their parents are.  "Raising a child" isn't the number of hours you spend with them, it's the values, experiences, and love that you share.

    I've never, ever regretted working.  And now that my eldest has a better understanding of what Mom does, I love to see how proud she is and I'm proud to be a great example for her.



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  • TashnBabiiTashnBabii member
    Thanks ladies! All great advice!

    @mommymegan831, I work an hour away from my house, but by the time I get home, its only 4pm which is to bad. It's a personal decision that in having difficulty with.
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  • TashnBabiiTashnBabii member
    Isn't too bad**
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  • jf198400jf198400 member
    I would do practically anything to NOT live with my inlaws (and my ILs are great don't get me wrong). So I would continue working. Also it sounds like you are already back at work, and if you would only SAH for 3 more months, I think you may cause some problems with your employer if you were to leave now.
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