Really really sad news - baby loss mentioned (not mine)

rowanthefrog · December 2013

OMG I'm shaking. My oldest friend in the world, one of my very best and dearest friends was expecting a baby boy in March...her second child. I just got an email from her saying "we lost the baby boy we were expecting in March. I'm sorry to send this in an email but I just can't talk about it yet." She's about 8 weeks behind me which makes her about 27 weeks along.

I don't even know what to think or say or do. I've had many losses but all of mine have been early. I know we've had some devastating losses on this board as well.

She lives in Raleigh and I'm in Atlanta so I can't show up at her door with food like I would like to. If anyone who has been through this has some ideas of something I can do for her I would love to hear them. I have tears streaming down my face for her. I just don't know what to do.

A

BEAUNAL · December 2013

So awful. I'm so sorry you are far away from her. I don't have advice but sending thoughts and prayers.

moosebaby2011 · December 2013

Thoughts and prayers to your friend and her family. I'm really sorry to hear this.

Unknown · December 2013

This content has been removed.

mrskratt · December 2013

I am so sorry for your friend and yourself. How devastating. It crushes my heart just thinking about it. I wish I had some advice for you. Sending thoughts and prayers!

sugarland726 · December 2013

Oh how heartbreaking. I'd send a card right away with a really heartful personal message. Then consider some sort of a gift card for take out? She and her H won't feel like cooking and it's the next best thing to being able to bring over a casserole yourself.

KimberlyTX · December 2013

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. Since you aren't geographically close, what about sending her gift cards to places you know she likes to eat? Or see if there is a place where you can order food to have delivered to her. Etsy also has some great remembrance necklaces for angel babies. And if she pulls back for a little while, don't be hurt. Just be there for her when she needs you (and let her know you're there).

HeartOverMind · December 2013

I'm so sorry to hear this! I don't have any advice about what to do, but be a strong friend for her.

angiek1 · December 2013

I love the GC idea, but do you know any of her friends where she lives? I doubt she is wanting to go out right now so if the food could be delivered I'm sure that is preferred. Could one of her friends pick up the grub that you order and deliver it for you?

HullGut · December 2013

I feel so sad for her, it is so hard to get through something like this. Its so devastating. Once Hunter passed away I was so touched by the people who reached out because many people avoided me. My best friend got me a bracelet with a heart charm and Hunter's name on it. I wear it every day and love it. So I would suggest a card and look on etsy to find some jewelry.

lmills730 · December 2013

Oh my gosh. Sending thoughts and prayers for her family. I wouldn't know how to help either. Is there a meal delivery service or something that you could send dinner through?

MeganWorden · December 2013

Oh I am so so sorry. My T's and P's are with you, your friend and her family. My losses have also been early so I am not much help but my BFF is also long distance right now. Right after my last loss she sent me a big box of chocolate covered strawberries and bananas thru edible arrangements. It really touched me (most likely because we would make these for our girls nights in college).

As you know nothing really "helps" when you are first dealing with your loss but maybe there is something special you two used to do together and you can get her something that reminds her of that.

valigrl21 · December 2013

How awful. I am so so sorry

goldenB · December 2013

I am so sorry to read this; I agree with reaching out to her by sending out a card and possibly a piece of jewelry that she can wear as a remembrance of her little angel.
I also appreciated my friends who sent me a card on what would have been that baby's due date.

She may not want to talk or respond right away, but know that whatever you do will mean a lot to her.

bensmommy518 · December 2013

So sad. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to her family and to you who must be hurting for her. My sister in law had a loss at 20 weeks only a week before she and my brother were moving to Japan for 3 years (military). We had given them an early baby shower so all their baby stuff was already shipped over to Japan and waiting for them when they arrived. It is so hard to feel like you are there for them they way you want to be when geographically you are so far away but all you can to is be there for support when she is ready. Just be an ear and a shoulder for her when she decides she needs to talk and be there for however long she needs to talk. I second the heartfelt card right now and just keep letting her know you are thinking about her. Everyone handles loss differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Also no set timeline.

MiaMyPuggle · December 2013

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'd send flowers and a sympathy card. Maybe meet 1/2 way in SC for a weekend family trip in the spring?

Winnieella · December 2013

Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry to hear this. Sending her big hugs. I think etsy has some pretty angle baby items, and I agree with sending her a card.

mrsjenni · December 2013

How devastating

I'm no help, really, I just feel terrible for them. I'm sure you'll figure out the perfect way to help your friend. I agree about the card and take-out gift card... I think those are amazing ideas.

bluegreeneyes11 · December 2013

Thoughts and prayers for them

Siblynika · December 2013

Thoughts and prayers with them

After I had my loss, several friends pitched in to bring food and sent take out gift cards- very helpful since the last thing DH and I felt like doing was cooking or going out anyway.

bee1916 · December 2013

Absolutely heartbreaking news- I am so sorry for you and for your dear friend. I experienced a loss at 13 weeks and that was one of the most painful experiences I've ever had. I cannot imagine experiencing a loss after having all that time to bond with your little one. My best advice is to support her in any way you possibly can, whether it is over the phone, by email, etc. Make sure you take care of yourself too, because you are grieving for her and her little one as well. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

RedSaffron · December 2013

I'm so sorry to hear that. Send my thoughts and prayers to her & her family and also to you too.
Card or a small care package with her favorites things to let her know you're thinking of her and wishing you could be there.

sparrowmomma24 · December 2013

It's so hard to know what to say. And that's because there is nothing right to say. I always liked when people would say: "It just sucks." For some reason that helped me a lot. I will give this thought....

If she is a Christian, the book "I Will Carry You" seriously changed EVERYTHING in my grieving process with Ellie. It's just a thought.

I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

megs12914 · December 2013

I'm sorry for you and your friends loss. After my loss, which was way way earlier, I got a necklace I have and still wear everyday. I love it and when people ask me about it they make me feel good . It is simple angel wings and goes with everything. I will be praying for all of you.

jonahsmama2014 · December 2013

This is awful, I'm so sorry to hear about your friends loss. I will be keeping her and her family in my prayers. My friend recently lost her daughter at 30 weeks and it was absolutely heartbreaking. I love the idea of sending either gift cards or finding a meal service in her area to help take away the burden of having to cook. A care package of some of her favorite items would be a wonderful gesture as well.

SvedkaStoli · December 2013

I am so sorry. I would probably go along with what was suggested above: a piece of jewelry commemorating the baby and a gift card to where she likes to eat.

aessary03 · December 2013

Oh I am so very sorry for your friend. That has to be one of the most devastating things to happen that I can think of. Any nice gesture you do I imagine will be appreciated 100x over. Thoughts and prayers to you, your friend, and her family.

Want a personalized experience?

Really really sad news - baby loss mentioned (not mine)

Re: Really really sad news - baby loss mentioned (not mine)

Fell in love: Dec 2005 // Married: Feb 9, 2013

Little Miss Rosalie Harper--Born Jan 9th, 2014

Choose Another Board

Search Boards