Late Term and Child Loss

PTSD

**Ticker warning**

After waiting 2 months, yesterday I went to my appointment for my mental health evaluation. It wasn't easy, it reopened all wounds.My appointment was in the same building as my OBGYN, she's on the 3rd floor & I was going up the elevator to the 5th floor. I was standing there with others in the elevator & it hit me out of no where. I remember everything in details from that day. I am glad everyone got off before when those doors closed again I just let it all out. I got to my appointment,we talked about everything. From my childhood to my present life, why I feel at fault. After about a 2 hour talk, they diagnosed my with post traumatic stress disorder. I was put on Prozac, I still have my Xanax & to only be used in cause of severe panic attacks. I feel broken, I know something is wrong. I try my best to not have my depression & anxiety defeat me but it's so fresh. There isn't one day I don't think about her. But I am very happy I reached out for help.
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Re: PTSD

  • Hugs to you sweetie!!
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  • I am so sorry you are going through so much- but I think that seeking out help and being open enough to receive it is amazing.  I hope you are able to find some healing.
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    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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  • ***Siggy warning***


    That is great that you reached out for help! Will this be something that you will be able to go to on a regular basis? I do hope so. Talking it out is very important and cathartic if you are ready to. 

    I think we all could go right back to those moments, reliving each one as if it were still happening. You are not broken or abnormal. You are hurt, grieving and missing your daughter, Elizabeth. Medication is not a bad thing, its a tool to help you on this journey. I hope the prozac can help you feel balanced as you learn how to balance things on your own. Big ((hugs))!
    Lilypie - (qptF)


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  • So sorry you are going through this. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS

     

     

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  • CRUN2012CRUN2012 member
    edited December 2013
    Unfortunately depression and anxiety aren't always things that we can 'talk ourselves out of' so to speak. Good for you for seeking out additional support!

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  • I'm so glad you reached out and recognized you needed some help. Good for you. I hope the medicaton helps. ((Hugs))
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • I'm glad you reached out for help. Hugs.
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    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • So glad you're getting the help you need. PTSD is certainly understandable in your situation. I hope that this is the beginning of a new chapter of healing for you.

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • I'm glad you went and talked to someone. I was also diagnosed with PTSD. it's hard to deal with but with therapy and the medications it should help you. Big hugs!!!

    Julius Justin - 11/07/2002 - 10 lbs 22 in 
    Isabella Genavieve - 02/03/05 - 7 lbs 11 oz 22 in 
    Arianna Kaitlynn - 04/10/2013 - 4 lbs 15 oz 15 in

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    TWINS!!!! 09/01/13
    Miscarriage at 12 weeks lost baby B 
    Arianna diagnosed with an Ompalocele at 13 weeks
    Arianna our Angel on 04/10/13 
    BFP 07/20/13
    Our Rainbow due 03/18/14 


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