Tips on baby sleeping on her own

LittleBabyG2013 · December 2013

Our LO sleeps in bed with us... And we want to try and get her in her own bed. Any tips?
I wish we never made this mistake!! But she wouldn't sleep .. Would wake up 10mins after we put her in her bed.
She doesn't nap in her bed as well,, sometimes the swing or her bouncy chair. Otherwise it's my arms.
She is 10.5 weeks old.

StayingSecret · December 2013

Just like pulling off a band-aid, you just gotta do it.

It might take some tears, but I'd let her cry for a bit. Not forever. But for like 3-5 minutes. Start off when you know she's really sleepy and then lay her in the crib. Laying her down might startle her and make her more awake, but lay her in there and then walk away for 3-5 minutes.

If she wakes up after 10 minutes, give her some loving and cuddles, but then start again. I'm not a CIO advocate, but I think babies cry and that's totally normal and 3-5 minutes of crying at that age isn't going to hurt them.

I'm not against co-sleeping, but since you want to do something different, that's my advice.

Lhand11 · December 2013

Is she swaddled? Dd and I bedshare (DH is on the couch for now) and I've been swaddling her and slowly getting her used to the co sleeper. She seems to not mind or notice. Also I've heard warming up the spot with a heating pad before putting them down helps.

RedZee · December 2013

I'd swaddle, cuddle, and when she's drowsy but not asleep put her down. Sleep with the swaddle for a night or two first because the scent is supposed to help them feel close to you (that did not work at all with DD1 though).

If you don't want to co-sleep, definitely make this move now. Sleep patterns are much easier to change when they are little.

If you have some kind of vibrate thing (like in the PnP) that can help a lot too. Also music works for my kids.

Jalee85 · December 2013

Warming up the area she will sleep in should help. I don't think you should let her cry at all. Fussing is okay but not crying. I would use a P&P next to your bed get her to fall asleep then lay her down with it nice and warm. If she cries then pick her up and do it again. My DD sleeps in a bouncy chair sitting in her P&P. then in the morning after DH has left for work I bed share.

kimbo1216 · December 2013

For now. You might pick up the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. If that doesn't work, you could try a stronger method like Ferber (CIO with graduated/interval checks) when baby is a little older--like 6 months or so.

One friend of mine had a lot of success with Good Night, Sleep Tight. Not sure what age that starts though.

CousinVicki · December 2013

wtf she is 10 weeks. chill out

LittleBabyG2013 · December 2013

I don't mind her sleeping with us. Just want what's best for her. If sleeping with us is what's best...then that's fine.

I guess a lot of it is family telling me I need to break it. But i won't let her cry it out. When my mother in law comes over she tells me too n tries to make me not pick her up.

LittleBabyG2013 · December 2013

Jalee85 said:
Warming up the area she will sleep in should help. I don't think you should let her cry at all. Fussing is okay but not crying. I would use a P&P next to your bed get her to fall asleep then lay her down with it nice and warm. If she cries then pick her up and do it again. My DD sleeps in a bouncy chair sitting in her P&P. then in the morning after DH has left for work I bed share.

Yea she cries pretty hard when she wakes up 5mins after I put her down. I pick her right back up. Then she stops crying after a little cuddle

CousinVicki · December 2013

LittleBabyG2013 said:

I don't mind her sleeping with us. Just want what's best for her. If sleeping with us is what's best...then that's fine. I guess a lot of it is family telling me I need to break it. But i won't let her cry it out. When my mother in law comes over she tells me too n tries to make me not pick her up.

wtf

first of all your MIL is insane. secondly, she is an infant , do what feels best. as for 'breaking' things, a baby needs you right now. when you do transition, it might suck, but it's only a night or two, it's not like 12 months of hell. people make wayyyy too big a deal about this shiz

LittleBabyG2013 · December 2013

Lhand11 said:
Is she swaddled? Dd and I bedshare (DH is on the couch for now) and I've been swaddling her and slowly getting her used to the co sleeper. She seems to not mind or notice. Also I've heard warming up the spot with a heating pad before putting them down helps.

No, She gets her arms out of swaddles.

Skyjewell23 · December 2013

LittleBabyG2013 said:

I don't mind her sleeping with us. Just want what's best for her. If sleeping with us is what's best...then that's fine. I guess a lot of it is family telling me I need to break it. But i won't let her cry it out. When my mother in law comes over she tells me too n tries to make me not pick her up.

MIL and I would be having some choice words if she tried to stop me from picking up my crying infant. There is no way in hell that would fly.

kimbo1216 · December 2013

She is too young to worry about "bad" sleep habits now. DD1 was a terrible sleeper from 10 weeks to 6 months. I couldn't even count on 2 hands how many times I got up with her each night. There were some nights I think I was just up period. We tried everything. I would cry when people asked about her sleeping I was so out of my mind. Then we sleep trained at 6 months. It took three days and I promise we had far less tears then than we did the 4 months prior.

Anyway, my point to the story is that you can always fix it later. Your baby isn't even three months old. I promise it's not too late. When I'm feeling discouraged about letting her bed share with us, I just remind myself that anything can be fixed with a little bit of sleep training later on. So I don't worry about it now.

kimbo1216 · December 2013

Oh. And a piece of advice. Don't worry about what others say. Not even those "more experienced" than yourself. Just have confident in your choices. Do your research. And you will be fine.

SnoopyLuv · December 2013

If bedsharing works and makes everyone happy and sleep well then keep doing it. My first bedshared for 7 months. Took a few nights of crying and she was fine. After she was out of the bed both DH and I missed it. We love bedsharing and planned on doing it with this LO from the get go. It is best for them to be next to their mothers all night, it makes them feel safe. Especially if you go back to work and are nursing- it will help your supply to be next to baby all night.

It's only a bad habit if its not good for your family. And fuck your MIL, babies can't manipulate or be spoiled. They need love and comfort. Tell her she had her chance to parent, this is your child.

SnoopyLuv · December 2013

One tip though is to start LO out in a different spot than your bed for the beginning of the night. That will help with the transition later and help naps. We have a pnp in ourbroom and LO usually doesn't come in to bed until after midnight which gives DH and I time for sex, cuddles, etc.

germanpickle · December 2013

Patience and the courage and strength to do what is right for YOUR family.

We bed shared with my first until he started sleeping through the night recently at 2.5 years. Now we miss him coming over around 3-4 am

We bed share with Matilda and treasure it. They will only cuddle for so long. Then they are too busy jumping and running and playing!

LittleBabyG2013 · December 2013

Thanks ladies..
She was sleeping cuddled up to me with her head resting on my arm. My arm would be asleep when she woke up. Which I am fine with if she was getting a good sleep. I tried her just laying beside me tonight n not actual holding her n She Didn't cry..

She did push/roll herself to her side though still. I know they say babies are suppose to sleep on their back. Is this okay?

RedZee · December 2013

If you're only reason to move her is because your MIL told you to, that's silly. Unless your MIL is directly impacted by your choices, she doesn't have to say anything about it. My MIL is constantly telling me to make DH get up in the middle of the night with the baby - which to me would be totally pointless.

Only YOU can decide what works for you and your family. A lot of people love bedsharing, and a lot of people find everyone sleeps worse. So do what feels right for you.

My experience, unlike @CousinVicki was that the transition to the crib with DD1 was pretty bad and really messed up her sleep (she was STTN for 8-10 hours at 3 months and was up every 2 hours when we switched). Finally, at 12 months, we night weaned and DH started getting up with her and she finally started sleeping better - but she STILL has a hard time falling asleep at 3 years old. (There are lots of factors to this, but for me, I wish I had handled the crib transition differently.) I don't sleep train and CIO, and I have a lot of reasons why this is not an approach that works for me and my family, so for me, if I didn't want baby bedsharing, I would make the change earlier because I think it would be an easier transition with fewer tears.

kimbo1216 · December 2013

LittleBabyG2013 said:
She did push/roll herself to her side though still. I know they say babies are suppose to sleep on their back. Is this okay?

If she put herself there, it's probably okay. When I lay DD next to me in bed, I still keep a hand on her at all times. It helps keeps me tuned to her as she will also roll to her side. I just make sure she has a nice open airway.

RedZee · December 2013

kimbo1216 said:

She did push/roll herself to her side though still. I know they say babies are suppose to sleep on their back. Is this okay?
If she put herself there, it's probably okay. When I lay DD next to me in bed, I still keep a hand on her at all times. It helps keeps me tuned to her as she will also roll to her side. I just make sure she has a nice open airway.

If she got herself there, you can't do much about it unless you stand guard all night.

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