How are you feeling... RANT

augustasimpson · December 2013

So we've finally come out and told everyone about the baby. Both of my jobs and his job... and now I get asked the same question over and over, "So, how are you feeling today?" We waited until the second trimester to tell, but it's like everyone else is mentally in my first trimester. I've tried to reply with "Fine, thanks. How are you?" and the respond with "Oh good, so not sick today?" ?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I get this the most from one of my co-workers. Our shifts only overlap by 15 minutes and she asks me this every day without fail.

I know this comes from a good place, but my goodness! I went to my BF's work party and had about 7 women come up to me and say "So... how are you feeling?" I wanted to say, "I feel like a drink!" I just try to remind them that I'm actually in my second trimester and I'm feeling pretty fantastic and make jokes that I can make it through an entire day without a nap and can stay up past 9:30 most nights, but it's really getting old. It just feels like people are searching for gossip. I really hope I have never done this before to a pregnant woman and if I have I am so very sorry!

TaylorHam86 · December 2013

Haha, I can relate! All the little old ladies at church ask me. And when I say "I'm feeling pretty good," they look at me like they're waiting for more. "Except..." or whatever. Maybe we should start making things up.

Maybe what they really want is to talk about it more and they just don't know how to. Hopefully not in a gossipy way, but in a "I'm genuinely happy for you" kind of way.

Except the girl you work with... Gosh! Yeah, definitely start making up ugly horror stories. Maybe she'll stop asking.

augustasimpson · December 2013

The woman at work is actually an older lady so maybe it comes from the same place as the women from your church. She asks me with a big smile on her face... I really think it comes from a good place but I'm so tired of it! There's only so many times I can say "I'm in the 2nd trimester, I feel fine!" Maybe one day I should start crying and say the hormones are making me emotional, lol (which they are, I just looked at my baby registry during my lunch break for giggles and started to tear up... seriously?!). I think it was the work party that tipped me over the edge, it's not just her, it's everyone who wants to talk about my pregnancy and it's the only way they know how.

P&Slove · December 2013

Yeah, I keep getting this from my family and friends too. It got annoying after the first 2 times.

SNOakes · December 2013

I'm in the opposite boat. I still feel awful and when people ask how I'm feeling I just want to say, "still puking, same as the last time you asked, but thanks!" But I feel like people don't want to hear complaints so I just try to smile and say something like "getting by," or "hanging in there." I wish second trimester was better for me, so far still yuck!

LindsayB0505 · December 2013

There is a guy at work that asks me this every time he sees me. It's just the default idle chit-chat when you're pregnant. Similar to "how's it going?" when your not.

sws684 · December 2013

It seems harmless. I can see where it would get old, but it's just kind of the "question" for a lot of ppl. I think they feel most comfortable acknowledging the obvious & showing concern. But of course I could just be naive on this one. I can't see why anyone would want to gossip about being sick. Hmm.. I hope not.

Allibob · December 2013

LindsayB0505 said:
It's just the default idle chit-chat when you're pregnant. Similar to "how's it going?" when your not.

This. I wouldn't take it as a negative, they're just trying to be polite. And it doesn't end in first Tri, you'll get it the entire pregnancy.

candrew05 · December 2013

I am getting sick of this too! But as was mentioned I feel like it all comes from a good place.

mrsbtobe20122 · December 2013

I just say, "grateful" or "like a million bucks"...I haven't been asked repeatedly after that.

likeabel · December 2013

You could respond and then always ask her what she thinks about the weather. Then she might realize she's always asking you the same question.

cchild101010 · December 2013

I've gotten this a lot as well, but I prefer it over "were you trying?!?". I swear the next person that asks me that question I'm going to respond with "nope. At 30 years of age and after 11 years together we had no clue how babies were made and just f-d up". I do think people ask how you're feeling from a good place but when it's asked 10 times/day it's exhausting.

Dplusbsquared · December 2013

I have learned that if I answer "how are you feeling today?" with the truth that I'm completely EXHAUSTED, people look so sad. So, as truthfully as I can, I say, "I'm having a pretty good day today" and change the subject to something about the asker. It works pretty well for me.

dollface777 · December 2013

Eh, you'll get that through your entire pregnancy. People know that pregnancy is uncomfortable and most of them don't know what else to ask you. They just want to seem interested in your life. Just be honest. If you feel like crap, tell them. If you feel wonderful, tell them! I felt awesome my whole pregnancy for my first one. People didn't believe me when I told them I felt fabulous! This time, I'm honest and say that I haven't felt great, but baby is healthy, that's what matters!

jenb_99 · December 2013

My first pregnancy was nearly completely symptomless. I got this question several times a day, and I always just said "feeling good, thanks!" Some women pushed and asked me about specific symptoms, and when I said I didn't have any and really actually felt great, a lot of them acted annoyed. It's like they want other women to feel miserable. I started to kind of look forward to being asked just so I could annoy and confuse nosy ladies by truthfully telling them I truly enjoyed being pregnant.

Junebug060609 · December 2013

LindsayB0505 said:
It's just the default idle chit-chat when you're pregnant. Similar to "how's it going?" when your not.

. This. You will be asked that question until you deliver...and then it will switch to comments on how little sleep you get.

awc1986 · December 2013

I'm in the same position, but being PGAL I get the concerned face with it too. Usually off people I've not seen for a while. They mean well though. I've settled into my pregnancy now, but it's still news to some people. I'm just not so keen on the belly grabbing. I'm ok with my dad and even my MIL, but DH's auntie grabbed my belly the other day and it was weird. I haven't seen her for years and it was the first thing she did. Lines were crossed.

MrsT2008 · December 2013

Do yourself a favor and learn to blow it off now. It's not worth getting worked up over.

MrsT2008 · December 2013

And, just because you're not in your first tri anymore doesn't really mean anything. I still ask pregnant women how they are feeling, regardless of what stage they're in. I've had friends who were sick well into their second tri (or their entire pregnancy). The question comes from a good place, just take it as small talk (because that's all it is) and move on.

christieep · December 2013

It is super annoying, and it is usually just people trying to make conversation. I always respond with "Fine, how are you feeling?" If you get to ask about me, I get to ask about you.

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