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Gender Reveal Sensitivity

schulme2schulme2 member
in Late Term and Child Loss
Is it just me or do you find that you are extra sensitive when people announce the gender and it's the same as what you lost?

I have a hard enough time with so many people announcing they are pregnant but even after in my head I'm like, "please, at least let it be a boy!" I don't know why but it's extra difficult for me when I hear "It's a girl!" I'm guessing because I know I'll be subject to hearing and seeing all about them raising their daughter and doing fun girl things with her that I yearn to do with Mary.
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Re: Gender Reveal Sensitivity

  • PiperSPiperS member
    I think it's all hard for me. I'm jealous of those who are able to be blissfully pregnant and seeing or hearing about twins especially girls is even more difficult. hang in there. we all understand.
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  • NoetholaNoethola member
    ***Siggy warning***


    Totally agree. While any of the announcements are hard, it was always harder knowing they were going to be blessed with a girl. 




    Lilypie - (qptF)


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."


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  • Bayberry12Bayberry12 member
    Yes!  Right now it's pretty hard for me to see announcements from women who were pregnant the same time as me or who had a child after me and are already pregnant again.  I just feel like why do they get to keep have children so easily and I am struggling to just have one living child.

    But the girl announcements are really hard.  I am so jealous of their happiness and that they will get to take home a sweet little girl and I have a room full of unused girl things that I have to pack up and put away soon.    
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
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  • bunnybun4bunnybun4 member

    I am so glad you said this.

    When I find out people are having girls it is like an extra kick in the gut...I was so relieved when my boss found out he was having a boy.  It's so weird how that makes a difference.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

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  • VyD81VyD81 member
    I agree. There are two people at my work who are having boys. Their team threw a baby shower on Friday. Thank goodness I was off that day but had to walk by blue balloons, pictures of storks on the way to my office this morning. I also just found out my pregnant cousin is having a boy. Urgh, I hate this feeling, trying not to feel sorry for myself but it's so hard.
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

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  • stefugestefuge member
    Totally agree! It's hard to believe that anything could make this worse, but somehow...
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
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  • sunflwrasunflwra member
    It's definitely hard.  It also makes me feel so selfish because I remember hoping so much for a boy since we have a girl and would really have loved to have "one of each". Now I really wish I had just hoped for the "it doesn't matter as long as they're healthy" :( 

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    Yes. I'm 2 years out from my loss AND have my rainbow baby, but I still cringe when I hear pregnancy announcements. I think, "of course it'll be a boy". :(
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • irons633irons633 member
    I totally understand you with that. All my friends who are still pregnant and due when I was supposed to all are having girls. It's hard to know they will get to do what I won't with my Olivia. But I'm all the way messed up since I've lost one of each so I'm just all over the place .
    imageimageimageimageimage 
    image



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  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    Absolutely. Like weddedwife, I'm two years out and have my rainbow and it still hurts to hear when someone is having a boy. Our rainbow is a girl and during the early part of that pregnancy I found myself worrying that it would be another boy and that we would lose him, too. Nothing about losing a child is easy. But it does get easier.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image



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  • BrandyD06BrandyD06 member
    After my daughter passed I couldn't look at another baby girl without breaking down. All babies were hard but girls were the worst. What I hated even more is my husbands ex wife who I do not like had a little girl the same year as my Elika, it was hard because whenever she came to get my stepdaughter she would show us the baby and it felt like she was rubbing in that her daughter survived but mine didn't. It made me really hate her.
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  • MrsLaurenandDanMrsLaurenandDan member
    **siggy warning**

    Yep, a mom due 2 weeks after I was found out she was having a boy and cried because it wasn't a girl and she already has a boy.  Well tough shit.  We have an older son and still loved Noah.  So now I will have to see her with her boy, the same age Noah should have been, and know that she didn't even want him.  
    TTC #1 June 2010
    1/3/11 S/A - Count 45; Motility 32; Morph 4.3 - 2/10/11 - S/A Count 17mil; Motility 39; Morph 7.9
    1/5/11 Femara Cycle #1 = BFN  2/4/11 Femara Cycle #2 = BFP: 3/4/11 - Starting Progesterone suppositories 
    Beta#1 15DPO = 108; Beta#2 17DPO = 179; Beta#3 18DPO = 259; Beta 4# 20DPO =659!!
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    TTC#2 Pulled goalie 5/12, PPAF 3/13, BFP 6/27 Beta 15DPO=248! 
    Dx Severe Hydrocephalus and severe Dandy Walker Cyst.   Stillborn 10/19/13
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    TTC#3 - (No preventing, TTC+progesterone starting 12/13)
    4/7/14 CD3 BW - FSH 5.6; AMH 0.469 - 4/11/14 S/A Count 35, Motility 47, Morph 1.5
    4/16/14 - Cycle 6 - Natural IUI - Beta 12DPIUI = 3; Beta 13DPIUI=4.  15DPIUI=6. 17DPIU=4. Chemical Pregnancy  
    TTC #4
    5/5/14 Dx MTHFR homozygous A1298C, Benched 1 cycle HSG 5/14 both tubes open w/scarring on the left   
    5/28/14 Starting clomid 6/8/14 IUI #2 1 dominant follicle 31mm Beta 11DPIUI =4, 15DPIUI = 74, 17DPIUI = 165 
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