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October 2013 Moms
Jalee85
member
WWYD - DH and I are in disagreement
Jalee85
member
As I've mentioned before my Mom has been really sad about not meeting DD. She lives in another state and can't get away to come up here. She would like to pay for me to come see her down there with the baby. We can't afford to go ourselves because of all the medical bills we have to pay off. She said that I could come when I want,but she would like to see here while she is little.
My DH and my Mom don't have the greatest relationship. My Mom is kind of hard to deal with. She has really bad back problems and their personalities just don't mix well. She is very loud and in your face. My hubs is pretty quiet and low key. I've tried to go several times in the last 2 years and DH has always talked me out of it, for different reasons.
My Mom would visit us about every 3 months for Dr appointments so it was never that big of a deal. Now she doesn't do this anymore. So for me it's more important that we visit her. I told my DH about our plan, and I will put it this way he is not not happy about it.
He is now saying that she is too young to fly. That I won't be able to lug everything I need around with me. I personally feel like this is just another excuse so I don't go. However, I could be wrong I'm not sure. The other problem is I have lupus and for whatever reason when I fly; I notoriously get very sick. This would be a much shorter flight so I'm hoping this would not be the case. The one time I didn't get sick from a flight it was a short one so I am hopeful.
I would really like to go, and if he chooses to go snowmobiling in February. I plan to go to my Moms. He goes on this trip every year, even though I wish he wouldn't go. I should be happy for him to go, but it is always a really stressful time for me. I usually end up in tears. Where he goes is avalanche prone and has no cell service, and I am a huge worry wort.
I've always caved and not visited my mother. This time I would really like to just go. I haven't seen my Mom since last April. However, this is his daughter too. Do you think that going without his approval is a good or bad thing. I really doubt I will ever get him to approve of it. He can be pretty stubborn...
I would like to avoid an argument if possible, but this is probably what it will turn into. Especially. if I push this subject. So I am just curious to get some opinions. DD would be 4 months old, is this too young to take her on a trip. DH thinks she shouldn't travel until she is 1yrs old. My guess is once she is 1yrs old he will find another reason for me to not go.
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Re: WWYD - DH and I are in disagreement
You've just answered your own question IMO!
You've just answered your own question IMO!
My mother and I don't have a good relationship and my DH can't stand her. I didnt even talk to my mom the last 6 months of my pregnancy. However she called the hospital when LO was born and we talked. I've been keeping our lines of communication open because despite what I hold against her...I'm not going to prevent her from being a Grandmother. I didnt have grandparents growing up because of strained relationships and I don't want to do that to my son.
Explain that to your husband. Grandparents are important. He needs to put whatever it is aside and "let" you do this for your DD.
If it were me in your situation DH wouldn't be going Anywhere if I didn't go on my trip.
Don't let the flight be the thing that keeps you home.
She was on Workmans comp from her job. She was in the process of settling when she moved. They would not approve her to see a different Dr in the new state. So she would drive up here every 3 months for the appointment and stay with us. Once her case settled she got a Dr in Illinois. She hasn't been here since April.
My Grandma flaked out on my Mom and moved out (a whole different story). They have 4 dogs and 2 horses she can't find anyone to watch the animals if she would leave. So she essentially can't go anywhere for more then one day.
Why would people have a problem with their DH taking their child to see their MIL? I would feel the same way about this situation if it were reversed, and all other factors remained constant.
Your hubby is being a dick. This is your MOTHER. you should go.