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Talking (typing) out loud

Sweetest116Sweetest116 member
in Secondary IF
15DPO, BFN and anxiously waiting AF to arrive so I can get the next show on the road.  It has officially been a year since my loss and 10 cycles since trying for #2.  Pity party of 1 over here.

Anyway, as I attempt to peal myself off the bathroom floor with BFN in hand I'm awaiting a call from my OB to tell me what the plan is for my next cycle.  Her office can take me all the way through IUI.  I know she's been pushing me toward clomid, but I'm terrified of it.  I'm wondering if it's time for me to face the fears and just give it a go.

See? Talking out loud is all this is.  Sigh... so so so very tired of the emotional rollercoaster.
<3 Baby #1 BFP 6/10/2011-EDD 2/19/2012-DS Born 2/10/2012!
:'(  CP BFP 1/6/2013-EDD 9/19/2013-CP 1/9/2013
<3 Baby #2 BFP 1/3/2014-EDD 9/12/2014 -DD Born 9/10/2014!
<3 Baby #3 BFP 7/8/2018-EDD 3/17/2019-Team Green!




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Re: Talking (typing) out loud

  • freakyfastfreakyfast member
    (((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry.  



      


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  • CheesyPeasCheesyPeas member

    I'm so sorry.  ((Hugs))  Even if you're scared of Clomid, do you think just giving something else a shot could help your spirits and give you some hope?  Sitting by while my body repeats the same messed up cycle month after month is pretty frustrating, so feeling like I'm doing SOMETHING is a big mental boost for me when I try out something new.  Even though they all fail.  Details, details.

    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

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  • Jen071407Jen071407 member
    ((hugs)) I think the first cycle officially taking medication(s) to help you conceive is the hardest. It's admitting infertility issues on paper. FWIW I really don't think clomid is that bad to take, and I actually much prefer cycles on it than off since it helps with my LP spotting. SIF sucks potatoes and I'm sorry you're having a crappy day :( ((hugs))

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

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  • lucky7wifelucky7wife member
    I'm so sorry.  Doing something proactive, like taking meds, might help you feel positive.  I've only done Clomid once for a test, so I'm not a good judge of what that involves though.  
    Trying for #2 with IVF after damage done in a D&C left me with one functioning (but too scarred) ovary and tube to get pregnant safely without assistance. It's a really, really long story, but that is the gist of it.  We have one daughter (whose c-section birth started this roller coaster) born in 2012 after a miscarriage in 2011. 
    Failed 1st attempt at IVF (Fresh ET day 3, 1 frozen embryo saved) in December 2013.  
    Failed 2nd attempt at IVF (Fresh ET day 5, 2 frozen embryos saved) in February 2014.
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  • Sweetest116Sweetest116 member
    Thank you all so much for the encouragement.  I needed that :)
    <3 Baby #1 BFP 6/10/2011-EDD 2/19/2012-DS Born 2/10/2012!
    :'(  CP BFP 1/6/2013-EDD 9/19/2013-CP 1/9/2013
    <3 Baby #2 BFP 1/3/2014-EDD 9/12/2014 -DD Born 9/10/2014!
    <3 Baby #3 BFP 7/8/2018-EDD 3/17/2019-Team Green!




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  • KC1212KC1212 member
    Jen071407 said:

    ((hugs)) I think the first cycle officially taking medication(s) to help you conceive is the hardest. It's admitting infertility issues on paper. FWIW I really don't think clomid is that bad to take, and I actually much prefer cycles on it than off since it helps with my LP spotting. SIF sucks potatoes and I'm sorry you're having a crappy day :( ((hugs))

    ^^ this clomid did make me crazy emotional but I don't think it's all that bad either. I did it 5 months (3 alone ) and 2 IUIs and would totally do it again if it comes to that.

    My OB didn't monitor me though but I was monitored the last 2 times for the IUIs obviously.

    Get monitored - I've since ditched that asshat.
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


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