Deep attachment to pacifier

vrj0522 · December 2013

I need some stories from people who took away the pacifier successfully from a LO that was deeply attached. I definitely want to take it away but I'm a bit scared of doing it to be honest.

When DS was born, we decided no binky and gave such instructions to the hospital when he was born. Well, for the first 4 days of his life, if he was awake and not feeding, he was crying. One of the nurses gave a latex glove to DH and he let DS suck on it while he had the glove on, and DS just sucked and sucked and that really was the only thing that would keep him pacified. So we gave in and he got a binky and has loved that thing since then. We tried just giving it for naps/bed and that did not go over well. We took it away and now only give it to him when he asks for it but it really is almost all day long. If he doesn't have it with him, he will not fall asleep and if he wakes up in the middle of the night and can't find it, he'll just stand up and start screaming like he is dying until we go in and give it to him.

I don't know whether to go cold turkey, do it slowly (how??), or give it more time. Can you please give me your experiences/advice?? TIA!

JENandJEH · December 2013

My oldest was very attached to his paci...we cut it down to sleep and car around 18 months and then at 2.5, he gave it up on his own. Out of the blue, decided he was all done with them and that was it with no prodding from me.

Can't be of much help with how to get rid of it because we got lucky. DS2 isn't as attached but I'm not worried about taking it away yet. He only gets it to sleep.

sunnyday016 · December 2013

My DS is very attached. I don't at all mind him having it for sleep & car still, but it bothers me when he walks around with it all day. We've started being really firm on the morning. No paci from the time he wakes up until naptime. So that's at least a few solid hours where he is now without it. There are some days he just screams for it, and the only thing that works then is a total change of scenery. I usually take him down the basement to play and that seems to help. If we're just up in the living room, no amount of distraction or trying to play with him will get his mind off his paci. As for the after nap to bedtime stretch of time- we're working on it. He doesn't seem to need it as badly then, but around dinner time he becomes a beast (with or without the paci) so we tend to let him have it so we can have a little sanity.

SuperMom17 · December 2013

Cold turkey- no point in delaying the inevitable. Obviously I don't know your son, but mine would not have accepted it being cut down, etc. He just would hae been even more angry that it was "broken." We did it with DS cold turkey- he LOVED his paci, but only had it for sleep time, and four days after the fact we are sleeping through the night and napping normally and with absolutely no issues. Do it before it will mess with his naps, the old they are the worse it is. We actually there ours away- didn't say a word to DS, just went on as kraal. He asked for them at bedtime for the first 2 days and I then nothing. It's a tough couple of days for some, but just think- if you did it today for exampls, by next Monday you wouldn't even be dealing with it.

SuperMom17 · December 2013

*kraal... Not sure what the heck that was. Meant to say as normal.

SuperMom17 · December 2013

And meant to say we threw them away! Guess I I need to read these before I hit the post... Darn you autocorrect. Sorry for the typos.

[Deleted User] · December 2013

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rubber_chicken · December 2013

My 18 month old DD LOVES her binky. LOVES it. So much so that "binky" was her first word.

We've been able to cut it down to sleeping and car rides. But I think she's going to be one of those kids that doesn't give it up until preschool. I'm just not going to worry about it for another year.

Tapthathank · December 2013

We just got rid of the pacifier on Friday night. DS loved it, but he only had it for naps & bedtime. He understood that the paci stayed in his crib and he was fine with that. Our doc told us he wanted him off the pacifier by 18 months. So we decided it would be easier the younger he is. We went cold turkey - didn't tell him anything, just didn't give it to him at bedtime on Friday night.

He whined for a few minutes but fell asleep on his own and slept through until his usual wake up time. Sunday night was the worst....he didn't nap well so I think he was overly tired. He cried for about 20 min last night....it was awful. he fell asleep and didn't make a peep all night. I'm hoping tonight will be less crying or none at all!

SuperMom17 · December 2013

Tapthathank said:

We just got rid of the pacifier on Friday night. DS loved it, but he only had it for naps & bedtime. He understood that the paci stayed in his crib and he was fine with that. Our doc told us he wanted him off the pacifier by 18 months. So we decided it would be easier the younger he is. We went cold turkey - didn't tell him anything, just didn't give it to him at bedtime on Friday night.
He whined for a few minutes but fell asleep on his own and slept through until his usual wake up time. Sunday night was the worst....he didn't nap well so I think he was overly tired. He cried for about 20 min last night....it was awful. he fell asleep and didn't make a peep all night. I'm hoping tonight will be less crying or none at all!

Hooray! When people say, 'my kid isn't attached because they on,y use to sleep" I think well then they are attached... Because they need it to sleep. The longer they have it, the more difficult to break the habit. I have known several friends/family that took it away at age 2 and beyond even though their child "only had it at night " and getting rid of it was incredibly painful and difficult for literally every one of them. Smart to take it away sooner than later... And just think, by this time next week it will be a distant memory. I I had been thinking of you and wondering if you took the plunge lol, hoping tonight is successful for you!!

plus12012 · December 2013

I am dreading the day we make the decision to take the paci away. DD loves her paci. She will take it out of her mouth whenever we ask her but, she has to have it either where she can see it or touch it.

Tapthathank · December 2013

SuperMom17 said:

Tapthathank said:

We just got rid of the pacifier on Friday night. DS loved it, but he only had it for naps & bedtime. He understood that the paci stayed in his crib and he was fine with that. Our doc told us he wanted him off the pacifier by 18 months. So we decided it would be easier the younger he is. We went cold turkey - didn't tell him anything, just didn't give it to him at bedtime on Friday night.
He whined for a few minutes but fell asleep on his own and slept through until his usual wake up time. Sunday night was the worst....he didn't nap well so I think he was overly tired. He cried for about 20 min last night....it was awful. he fell asleep and didn't make a peep all night. I'm hoping tonight will be less crying or none at all!

Hooray! When people say, 'my kid isn't attached because they on,y use to sleep" I think well then they are attached... Because they need it to sleep. The longer they have it, the more difficult to break the habit. I have known several friends/family that took it away at age 2 and beyond even though their child "only had it at night " and getting rid of it was incredibly painful and difficult for literally every one of them. Smart to take it away sooner than later... And just think, by this time next week it will be a distant memory. I I had been thinking of you and wondering if you took the plunge lol, hoping tonight is successful for you!!

We took the plunge!! Your posts convinced me to just do it now and my hubby was on board! I had a girls night on Friday evening, so he did it the first night - figured the crying doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me!

I hope tonight is successful too - thanks for thinking of me!

Tapthathank · December 2013

And my husband just told me that he forgot to tell our daycare provider to ditch the pacifier. Great. This is going to throw tonight out of whack.

JENandJEH · December 2013

SuperMom17 said:

Tapthathank said:

We just got rid of the pacifier on Friday night. DS loved it, but he only had it for naps & bedtime. He understood that the paci stayed in his crib and he was fine with that. Our doc told us he wanted him off the pacifier by 18 months. So we decided it would be easier the younger he is. We went cold turkey - didn't tell him anything, just didn't give it to him at bedtime on Friday night.
He whined for a few minutes but fell asleep on his own and slept through until his usual wake up time. Sunday night was the worst....he didn't nap well so I think he was overly tired. He cried for about 20 min last night....it was awful. he fell asleep and didn't make a peep all night. I'm hoping tonight will be less crying or none at all!

Hooray! When people say, 'my kid isn't attached because they on,y use to sleep" I think well then they are attached... Because they need it to sleep. The longer they have it, the more difficult to break the habit. I have known several friends/family that took it away at age 2 and beyond even though their child "only had it at night " and getting rid of it was incredibly painful and difficult for literally every one of them. Smart to take it away sooner than later... And just think, by this time next week it will be a distant memory. I I had been thinking of you and wondering if you took the plunge lol, hoping tonight is successful for you!!

It is so great that your child had an easy time transitioning off when you did it cold turkey, and yes, that works for some people, but just because other people choose to wait and not do it cold turkey doesn't necessarily mean that it will be more difficult for them. Some may say it's smarter to take it away sooner...others may say that if it's what their child needs to sleep, it's not worth ruining their sleep (and some kids don't adjust in a few days like you're suggesting) when sleep is an important part of growth and development for children.

I didn't take it away cold turkey from my son and he gave it up, on his own with no fussing or tears, at 2 and a half. My niece, who had her pacifier for the majority of the day and was majorly addicted to it, left hers out for the paci fairy at age 3 and never shed a tear.

All kids are different and what works for some may not work for others. Like I said, and I sincerely mean it, I'm so glad that cold turkey worked for your child, that is great! But for other families, that's not the way they choose to deal with it and that's okay, too. Those who choose not to do it sooner rather than later aren't dumb, we're just making different choices for our families.

Jenelle101 · December 2013

My DD was addicted to her plug. She had colic as a baby and was a horrible sleeper. I mean HORRIBLE! (She still is at 3.5 years old!) She always had her plug throughout the day until around 18 months or so when we decided she would only have it for nap, in the car and at bedtime. Her brother was born when she was 2.5 and we knew there would be a lot of changes with having a new baby in the house, so we decided to hold off for a couple of months before trying to get her off the plug. So she was a little over 2.5 years old when we tried. I jokingly said, "I'll give you chocolate in the morning if you don't use your plug all night." And it was that easy. I was shocked! We had tried when she was about 1.5 years old and it was a nightmare. I think it really helps when your child is able to understand more and you're able to reason a little with him/her.

EDIT: I should say... it was easier for ME to do it when I was able to reason a little with my daughter. I'm not saying you shouldn't try at an earlier age. It was just hell for us at an earlier age, so I'm glad I waited until she was older to try again.

Tapthathank · December 2013

I agree - whatever works for you and your family! I was also thinking that it might be better to wait until I could reason with him and he couldn't understand what he was giving up. But from experience of getting rid of the bottle, he adjusted really well and didn't seem to miss it. We thought it would be easiest to go cold turkey for him. But his deep attachment to it was only for sleeping, so I think it would have been a nightmare to get rid of it if he had it during the day too.

laura1 · December 2013

All mine have been addicted to their pacis. At 1, all had theirs restricted to the crib or car. DS was first and a terrible sleeper - so we let him keep it. He gave it up on his own at 2yrs 9months. And with it, he gave up his nap. So, with DD#1 (our fabulous sleeper) we let her keep it until she was 3 (she never volunteered to give it up on her own) because we didn't want to mess with her sleep. The Binky fairy came, and it was 2 nights of difficulty going to sleep, then she was fine...except she hasn't napped since either. So with #3, we will probably let her keep it until college if it means she will still nap...j/k. I will probably see if she gives it up on her own, and if not, the Binky fairy will come when she turns 3 also.

emberlee3 · December 2013

As a parent, go with your gut on what you think works best for your child. With DS, it was carpe diem. Around 18 months, he got really attached to a couple of small teddy bears. Instead of running for his paci after bath, he ran for his bears. I put him to bed with just the bears. Then, I threw out all the pacis and never mentioned them again. Not sure what I will do with DD. She is 18 months now, but I don't mind if she has it until she's 2 or so, just for sleeping.

janinekrause · December 2013

I started cutting down the time when she was getting older to naps and bedtime. I think around 18 months. We got rid of it at 2 1/2 or so.

She loved it and honestly, she would have had a horrendous time- some say it was easy but I know my kid and would have really sucked.

Anyway, we put them in a box and "gave them to babies" at around 2 1/2. she was involved in process and there were no tears.

Her speech is fine, her teeth are find. Whatever is my motto on things like that.

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