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Pregnant during homestudy process for NDA

Russiandea12Russiandea12 member
in Adoption
First of all, I want to say I am sorry for anyone on this board who has experienced a loss or inability to get pregnant.  After 3 consecutive miscarriages, my husband and I deceided to pursue newborn domestic adoption.  We are currently in the homestudy process and expecting to be homestudy approved at the end of January.  However, when I went if for some testing for my ob last week I discovered I was pregnant.  It is still very early, my other mc were 2 at 6 weeks and 1 at 10 weeks.  But after experiencing 3 early losses and being excited about the possiblity of adoption to grow our family, neither my husband & I have decieded how we feel about our news.  We both are Christians and are constantly being shown that God's plans for our lives not not match our own.  Has anyone else exprienced this situation?
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Re: Pregnant during homestudy process for NDA

  • hey_its_jennhey_its_jenn member
    Each agency might handle your situation differently, and I've never been in that situation.  I know that our agency requests that if we do find out we're pregnant, to notify them immediately to determine what steps must be taken.  Maybe you could put your home study on hold until you get to the 2nd trimester or until a determined time?  So I'm not much help! 

    GL and Congratulations!! 

    J&B // Married 9/19/09
    J: 28 // B: 32 

    TTC # 1 Since October 2010 (Not preventing since 2009)
    November 2013: Applied & Accepted by the Agency
    January 2014: Home Study, education class, Profiles
    February 2014: "Officially Waiting"
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  • bumpuser794640bumpuser794640 member
    I haven't experienced this situation, but I have thought about what I would do if this happened to me (not likely since I'm currently on BCP, but before I went back on it I considered the implications).  First, I would wait to tell your agency until you are passed the first trimester, in case you do have another loss.  I'm not sure whether that is 100% ethical or not, I suppose it depends on whether you could potentially be matched prior to announcing your pregnancy.  I do believe that most agencies will put your adoption process on hold if you become pregnant, so you may want to come clean right away and find out what the process will look like for your family from here on out.

    God's plans are rarely clear at the time, but I do believe that in hindsight you will have a better understanding of the path He has you on.  I wish you luck with your pregnancy and pray that you can find peace and understanding of His will while you wait to see how your family will grow.
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  • pleasebeonsalepleasebeonsale member
    The agency I'm with won't consider you if you've had, or been placed with, a baby in the last year. I've never been in the situation myself, but I think I'd talk to them and find out what, if any, policies they have concerning that type of event, and ask to continue to work at being approved in any case. I hope this pg sticks for you. Good luck. 
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    It's OK to have confusing feelings right now. Especially with past losses, you have no idea what the future holds. I agree that waiting until the end of the first trimester would be fine and I see no ethical issues with it. At that point you can talk to them and see what they say. Different agencies have different policies, so you may be able to continue the adoption process. Alternatively you may be put on hold until your child is a year old.

    H&H 9 months to you

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  • aligrossaligross member
    I may be the odd woman out on this one.... but I would tell my SW immediately, or at the next meeting/phone call. Knowing our social worker she would have counseled us on what to do - most likely you will be placed on hold. That's not a bad thing. 

    When a social worker does your home study it is not to judge you or find your faults, it is to make sure that you are prepared physically and mentally to bring a child into your home. Personally, if I was pregnant I would want them to know. I wouldn't want to hide that secret and God forbid if I miscarried I don't know where I would be mentally to continue the adoption process right at that moment. 

    I'm certainly praying for a happy healthy baby for you!!! 
    Began the Adoption process 4/2013
    Home study Approved 12/2013
    .... and the wait begins! 

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  • IRRIRR member
    We signed up with an agency that was ok with us continuing one more round of IVF before the adoption.  We finished our HS in Feb and had our last IVF in March.  It was a big fat Negative and I am so happy that I was able to dual path the two together.  I think since you have had issues in the past I wouldn't say anything until you are done with the first tri-mester.  Your HS is not completed and you can always not have your profile shown until you know where things stand.  GL and I hope your pregnancy sticks.
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    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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