Need advice on husband's traditional family name

caraleigh03 · December 2013

My husband is the 5th man in his family to be named William Franklin. I'm not sure I want to continue, feeling like 5 is a good place to stop. But am I being unreasonable? Several people agree with me but others say "its tradition!". But when do you call it quits? I wouldnt want my son to feel obligated to keep going with it. We dont know what we are having and dont plan on finding out, so I might not have to worry about it if it's a girl, but i dont want to be fighting about it once the baby is born. The 3 remaining go by other names besides William, but I know people with the name Will, Willie, etc, so I dont really want to force a name on my child because its "tradition". My husband hasnt even really talked to his dad or grandpa about it to see if they would be upset if we didnt pass it on, and not sure if he will. He just thinks it should automatically be W.F.S. VI

Any advice or suggestions?

pandadair · December 2013

I honestly don't know where you cut that tradition off, but after the 5th seems like a perfectly reasonable time to me. I told my husband that our baby is already getting his family's last name, so if the other names are going to be family names, they're going to be my family names. End of story. Ask him why his family is the only one that should be honored in the child's name.

TheBeeCharmer · December 2013

That's a tough call. It's always hard to know with tradition. My son is a "William" named after my late father, but I'd probably resented it if someone told me I HAD to name him that. Would you be able to use William as a middle name?

cchild101010 · December 2013

That is so hard. I guess it depends a lot on how important the tradition is to your husband. I totally understand how you feel and I would want to be forced to name my child something. Maybe you could explain to everyone that you want to start your own tradition?!? Or maybe it just won't be an issue. Good luck and keep us posted

alphalyrae · December 2013

I would wait until you know the sex of this baby before opening a potential can of worms with your DH's dad and grandfather. But if you don't want to continue, and your DH is okay with that. I wouldn't ask for permission from the in laws.

talkthewholetime · December 2013

I'm interested to know what your husband's take on it all is. I can see both sides of the argument for sure.

caraleigh03 · December 2013

Thanks everyone for the tips! It is a good point that he's already got his family's last name, youre right @pandadair, what about my family names? Basically i asked my husband why he want's to name him the 6th, and he said, "because it's tradition! how many people get the opportunity to go all the way to 6?" i told him, well most of those are in the UK and are royalty! Luckliy we have plenty of time to discuss since we aren't finding out the sex.

kristine526 · December 2013

alphalyrae said:

I would wait until you know the sex of this baby before opening a potential can of worms with your DH's dad and grandfather. But if you don't want to continue, and your DH is okay with that. I wouldn't ask for permission from the in laws.

This. BIL and his wife will be naming their child (if they have a boy) Matthew Louis III. I think after the II, it's kind of unnecessary, but that might be because that was my dad's line of thinking. His dad was Albert Thomas, his name is Albert Thomas Jr, and he wasn't having an Albert Thomas III, so he switched it to Thomas Albert instead.

I feel like once you get up there in numbers, your kid should be royalty, like the Edward's and Victoria's over in England.

likeabel · December 2013

There's no reason to keep tradition only for tradition's sake. Have an honest heart to heart with your DH about the name and if he agrees, I think you're fine to move on to a new name. (But maybe keep William for the middle name)

deanna1313 · December 2013

I agree that it isn't fair that he really isn't giving you a choice. We are naming my baby(if it's a boy) after my husband so he would be a jr. My husband wanted it that way, but we talked about it first. His name is Michael and my stepfather and younger brother are also Michael's. It's too many people and I wouldn't choose the name if he didn't want a jr., but I'm okay with it.

Five generations is a lot! I know someone who was in the same situation with the name William and her child would be the fourth. She finally gave in. I never knew her son was named William because they always called him Liam. Not a bad nickname.

SMM1986 · December 2013

savannah_girl said:
I am not a fan of Jr's (or in your case of and Roman #s).
My dad had a II (his first wife). He namesake is in jail for killing some one for drugs. Yeah, a great legacy huh?

I think if you CHOICE to honor some one, it should be because that person touched you. Not because you HAVE to or it is expected.

This.

kristine526 · December 2013

Kimbus22 said:

My H's family is a line of men with the same name too. I just said, "Nope. Not doing it. My kid gets his own name." He didn't fight me on it. His family wasn't thrilled but they got over it.

I wouldn't be thrilled if you named your kid Joey Pterodactyl either. ;-)

sisterjanet · December 2013

It's sounding like you don't like the idea of having a VI but I can't really tell how strongly you feel about it, if you're just tentative or if you really kinda hate the idea of passing the name down. Is it the tradition you're not so happy about, or the actual name William Franklin, or both?

I agree with PP you should think about how you feel, and have a talk with your husband. It is kind of cool that his family made it to V (and consequently stuck you with this dilemma), but even thinking it's cool, I think he shouldn't win automatically.

MissLadyTay · December 2013

I guess I'm in the minority on this but I would totally make my kid the Sixth if we had the chance. That's way cooler IMO than a Jr. or a III. If you hate the name don't carry it on but I like William. I would do it. Are you planning to be one and done? You can always make your husband agree to use your family names for a girl or the next child. But I would embrace it!

ETA fix wording.

Jillzy86 · December 2013

Does your husband feel strongly about his name? Or is it just tradition so he has to go a long with it? I don't think you should name your child anything you both can't agree on.

AugustGlass · December 2013

Agree with @pandadair and had one of my best friends say the same exact thing to me. Why doesn't our kid get a name from my family?

As far as your situation, do you like either of the names? You could keep one as a first or middle. Sort of a way to carry on the tradition and still get to do it your own way.

CVislo · December 2013

I would not go with the tradition but that's because I don't like the name. My thought is that it's my child, I'll choose the name.

Miles2Go · December 2013

I'm kind of fighting a similar battle from the other side. In my family, they name their first born (of appropriate sex) after their closest sibling. Therefore, there are LOTS of Johns, Roberts, Williams, and James'. If this one is a boy, I want to name for my brother, William James. DH is adamantly against this.

I think in your case, it really depends on how strongly you feel and how strongly he feels. He may be really attached to the idea, having always imagined his future son as VI.

I'm not sure how helpful we can be to you. But coming from the other side, I'd always thought my son would be Will and now it looks like he really won't, which is a little disappointing for me. Only your Dh can clarify his feelings for you, though. Good luck!

hatrats · December 2013

I think for me personally, it would depend on how important it was to my husband. If it was *that* important to him, I'd probably give in, but only because a) it's such a long tradition, and b) it's not a terrible name.

Richelpedersen · December 2013

MissLadyTay said:
I guess I'm in the minority on this but I would totally make my kid the Sixth if we had the chance. That's way cooler IMO than a Jr. or a III. If you hate the name don't carry it on but I like William. I would do it. Are you planning to be one and done? You can always make your husband agree to use your family names for a girl or the next child. But I would embrace it!

ETA fix wording.

This.

pistolpackinmomma · December 2013

DS's middle name is DH's first name. The name is very prominent in his side of the family and we knew that would be the middle name for a boy if we had one before we were even TTC. I don't see the harm in continuing a tradition as long as both sides are ok with it of course. I don't understand the whole "the kid has his last name so it will get first names from my side" argument. I don't see the last name as a place to honor someone/a family like a first or middle name would.

Riley&sweetpea · December 2013

My husband was a jr and I informed him from the begining with our first we would not have a III however I did compromise if we have a daughter she would have his name Noel as a middle name

P&Slove · December 2013

DH's family had a tradition for a girl middle name and they told us we should use it. I told them straight off NO because I didn't like the name. Even though it took us weeks to figure out what middle name we wanted, I wasn't going to settle for a name someone else wanted.

My point is, it's going to be your child. You should be able to choose the name you like. Tradition or not, you can't expect to please your family all the time.

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