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3rd Trimester
radiantblonde
member
Circumcision Disagreement
radiantblonde
member
I am currently 32 weeks pregnant and my DH I are in complete disagreement about circumcision. He believes that it is cleaner and looks better when boys are circumcised. He also comes from a long line of family history where everyone is circumcised to his knowledge. I have given him research to support my beliefs, but he still feels like we need to circumcise. He suggested I put out a post to see what public opinions on the matter were. He asked some of the people that he worked with and the consensus was that women thought an uncircumcised penis looked weird and men thought it was unclean/looked weird.
I am trying to be balanced on this, but I feel that it is a part that humans are born with and if it were meant to come off, it would (like skin sheds, nails break, and hair falls out). It is just as clean as having vaginal lips (you learn to properly clean your vagina, right ladies). Reasons I am against it are that it is unnecessary surgery, complication rate from having it performed is similar, or greater in cases than not having it performed. One complication is death form infection or complication, which occurs approximately 120 times per year in the U.S. Foreskin also serves a functional purpose during intercourse to help maintian vaginal lubrication (instead of pulling it out), the American Academy of Pediatrics does not reccomend routine circumcision, it does cause pain (I am a nurse practitioner and have witnessed dozens of circumcisions) and the pain that it causes requires that the infant be on pain medication i.e. tylenol. The hospital that we are birthing in doesn't even perform circumcisions, and we would have to find someone that we trusted to do the job right. The circumcision rate has dropped to around 55% where we live. The foreskin also helps protect against infections while it is unretractable (for the first few years of life).
Please give me your pros and cons. Thank you!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Circumcision Disagreement
I debated and discussed this with my husband, and I ended up deferring to him considering he was the one with the penis. ETA: We circumcised both our boys and will circumcise DS3.
Thanks Soap1! I'm just hoping to show him that there are other people that agree that circumcision wasn't a good option for them. I think he believes that everyone else around him thinks that it would be weird/wrong to not circumcise.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Couldn't agree more btw... And DS literally never shed a tear either.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
That's not really accurate though. A child has a different response to surgery. I had my tonsils out as an adult and I was in pain for three weeks and in serious pain for the first ten days. My two year old nephew had the same surgery and he was fine the next day.
I think this is a shitty way to convince someone. There are multiple methods to circumcise and multiple methods of pain relief. Unless you're watching a video from actual office that would be doing it you're not getting an accurate picture. I know nowadays everyone is a doctor since they can use the google feature though...
Sorry to hear your Dh is influenced so much by the appearance aspect. That has to be a pretty frustrating point of view to deal with. FWIW, I don't think uncirc'd penises are unattractive.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Also scientist, how are you drawing equal comparison between medically preformed male circumcision and African female circumcision? Cause those are miles apart.
OP can I recommend that you interview a series if medical professionals and those who actually perform this procedure. Go in with an open mind and reflect and the pros and cons from a factual stand point. It may take some of the emotional charge out of it and allow you and your husband to see each others perspective.
BFP Dec 11 2012 - EDD Aug 27 2012 - CP Dec 15 2012
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LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
2. Comparing male circumcision, done in a modern medical setting by trained doctors and with pain relief available, to female circumcision, a terrible practice often done by people with no training for the sole purpose of mutilating a child to reduce sex drive, is not a valid argument. Seriously people, stop using it.
3. How many times are we going to have this argument this month alone? Can we all just agree to refer to the past threads?
Because it served a medical purpose. I pumped my kids full of dangerous substances that could permanently maim them or kill them (vaccines) without their consent because the minor risks were worth it. Statistically my kid has a much, much greater chance of contracting HIV than polio yet vaccinating against polio is applauded while taking steps to minimize my child's risk of contracting/passing along a disease like HIV or the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer is judged harshly. I know the argument that's always thrown out there is preach safe sex but IME kids aged 15-23 commonly engage in behaviors that their parents tell them not to do so I wanted the added protection against STIs, infection and cancer.
Eh, you may have had an easy time but millions of teens and young adults use illegal drugs or get blackout drunk every year. Kids--even one with good, involved parents make choices they may not typically make under the influence. Also the cancer causing strains of HPV can be transmitted through intercourse regardless if the parties involved are wearing condoms and there's only vaccines available for four out of the hundreds of strains. There's not a movement of "wear condoms unless you're circumcised!" So I'm not concerned about my son feeling a false sense of security in the future.
I think there's a stigma and bias with both HIV and circumcision. The flu vaccine is less effective in preventing the flu than circumcision is in preventing HIV and the death toll is similar for both diseases yet you hear more in the media about the flu and there's much more public support for the flu vaccine.
Also, OP's husband's only reason for doing it is so it won't look "weird." For me, that's a strange reason to perform a medical procedure on a newborn, and if that was my husband's only argument for doing it, I wouldn't allow it.Your comment is misleading. It wasn't because they were emotionally scarred from something being taken--they were victims of a botched medical procedure. This argument goes both ways as well since I'm sure for every man pissed at their botched circumcision there's one who is angry that they didn't get one in infancy as they wanted/medically needed one in adulthood and it was a much worse recovery or a guy pissed of since he had penile cancer that could have been prevented from being circumcised in infancy.
Except the poster that nicb was responding to was not talking of men in support groups for botched circumcisions. It was referencing men who were emotionally missing their foreskin because it was gone and not returning. I love titted nicb's response and would agree those who fall in the latter category obviously have some serious mental issues. That's not being insensitive to those who were victimized.
My parents pierced my ears when I was a kid--you really think I'm sane if I seek out a support group because I permanently have a hole on my body?. My two year daughter had her adenoids out this year without her consent not because it was medically necessary but because it *might* have helped her (and It did). Should I be looking up a support group now for her because she's missing a part of her body? Thats just insanity.
Look YOU might feel that its just a pointless procedure and the equivalent of cutting off a finger but the medical and scientific community does not agree with you. Read what the AAP wrote which you referenced--the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risk. Science has proved without a shadow of a doubt the bacterial composition of the penis is altered when circumcised protecting the man from contracting disease and infection. You might feel talking to your child and tossing him a pack of condoms was sufficient in helping prevent HIV and cancer but you have no place to minimize the opinions of those who chose otherwise.
Maybe not by you directly... Or in those words verbatim, But mentioning support groups due to circumcision? Give me a break. Step away from the you tube videos and talk with your husband about this personal decision that only you and yours can decide upon.
Lol, if you think HPV infections that lead to cancer are minimal there's zero point in discussing this further. 25,000 people this year develop cancer directly from HPV infection and this number will likely increase as its thought prostrate cancer is caused by HPV infection. 50,000 will contract hiv this year. Those numbers will likely spike as circumcison rates decrease. Proper hygiene might prevent urinary tract infections but they dont prevent those diseases as you cant wash your foreskin during intercourse. HPV doesn't care if you use condoms or lost your virginity to your spouse--you can still contract the disease and most people do in their lifetime. Comparatively 3,000 babies will die of SIDS but you hear much more about that because of medical community bias.
You may not think calling circumcision cosmetic surgery is minimizing or degrading the opinion of those who choose to circumcise but it is. It's also spreading false information that has been debunked by twenty years of science. That's not really helpful to someone trying to make an important decision.
You might be my sarcastic soul mate
I don't care if people have differing opinions. If you said "my husband and I did the research and spoke with our doctor but didn't feel that there wasn't enough evidence to support circumcision" I wouldn't have said two words to you. When you compare circumcision to cosmetic surgery not only are you being offensive but you're spreading lies to people trying to make an informed decision.