How to you manage the inevitable absences that come up at work?

sidey1 · December 2013

I feel guilty everytime I have to call out of work, especially this time of year when we're very busy. Since I've been back at work, about 4 months now, I've called out at least twice for DS being sick, once for a holiday that the office wasn't closed but DS daycare was and now I have the flu and I think it's likely I'll be out for a few days this week.

I'm salaried and have sick days and vacation time to use so that's not a concern but I do worry about the impression my non-parent co-workers will create around my absences. I know of two coworkers who are very judgemental of every time a person is out sick, has to leave early ect. Part of me feels like that's there problem not mine but I also don't want to put myself at risk by being out to much either. When DS is home sick, there is really no way to work from home. With this flu I feel way too horrible to do anything but sleep, and maybe write this post! I know its inevitable I'll need to take these kinds of absences frequently for the unforeseen future. Did any of you have to change jobs because you felt too much pressure to be in the office every single day?

SLGILL1978 · December 2013

I am lucky.. my boss has children and a lot of my co workers have children as well so they understand. I was only back at work from maternity leave for 2-3 weeks when my daughter got RSV and was in the hospital. I was out of the office an additional 1.5 week for that. This year I have been late a couple of times due to my babysitter being sick and having appts. Baby has only been sick once so far (knock on wood) and I was gone 1.5 days.

Nechie122 · December 2013

I think everyone needs to try to find a back-up care system. We use an agency (we're fortunate enough to have the membership fee covered as part of DH's benefits) so we can hire temp nannies when DD can't go to daycare. DH and I also try to alternate who stays home/leaves early so it's not always me, or always him.

sdlaura · December 2013

I don't feel guilty using my sick and vacation time - it is part of my benefits package and there for a reason. That said, we have been very lucky that our in-home daycare provider is incredibly reliable and DD doesn't get sick often, but otherwise DH and I split any days we have to be out, which include times that our daycare provider takes vacation.

82Sonia · December 2013

It's always me who stays home with DD. I have very understanding bosses and most of my co-workers are parents who get it.

umma4babes · December 2013

I wouldn't change a job for that reason. The first year is tough, and I've had to take more time off than I ever did until my son was about a year old. Then it got much better and now that he's 3, I rarely take time off unless for actual vacation. As for judgmental co-workers, screw them. It was hard for me at first too, but I just didn't have time to deal with that. If you sense that it starts becoming a problem with your boss, then I'd be thinking about a different job but not due to some co worker snarkiness.

Oh, and I'm the one who always stays with my son and picks him up when he gets sick at daycare. My husband, though a great dad, is not so great at taking care of a sick child. He gets himself sick too, which creates double the work for me.

DTNZ4Ever · December 2013

The first year is tough. It gets better. DH and I typically trade off when DS is sick. Also my parents are our back ups. I typically don't get sick so I don't use my time for myself. I also arrange to work from home if DS is sick too. I make sure I respond to email and voicemails when working from home in a timely manner as well.

ccam · December 2013

Like the PP said, the first year is really tough. But it does get better. Obviously, your SO can't split time for your sickness, but can he split some of the time off you need for your LO's vacation days or sick days? I do feel guilty calling out, but my boss and the people I work with are so understanding. They totally get it.

jasminelorraine20 · December 2013

OP I understand how you feel. I'm the military so I don't have sick days or anything like that. But like the PP's said, my supervisor has children and is very understanding when my child is sick and I have to stay home. DS was hospitalized and I missed an entire week of work and she made arrangements for one of my co workers to bring me food while I was in the hospital with him. However, before she started her position at my office- there were other airmen with children that would take advantage and kind of ruined the credibility of us that have kids. Thankfully, those people are no longer here and I also am where I say I am.

djm31012 · December 2013

omg i could have written this exact post this morning. DS has a stomach bug and i physically cant take another day off work. I have the days, i just feel like it looks bad to my clients and co workers (plus i just took friday off for a family fun day of course). DH is slightly mad at me bc i made him take today off and hes so busy at work. I am dead at work but for face time reasons feel like i should be here...crppy position for both of us to be in and i feel awful about it. Today is just not a good day!

sidey1 · December 2013

I guess stuff just comes up and there's not much you can do about it. We don't live near family, but DH does alternate days with me when DS is sick. This flu I have is horrible and I can see I'll be out for at least another day this week, I can't even muster the energy to take a shower. And I know the work is just piling up but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have any of my Holiday stuff up yet either

Shit happens, if my boss can't understand that, well then I guess it is what it is. He has two children but also has his mil AND a nanny taking care of them everyday, not a situation that's available to everyone. It isn't uncommon for me to be responding to emails at 10pm or later every night so I do work hard, but I think that's part of the problem, I'm already sleep deprived from DS and I'm also expected to work 24/7. Definately reexamining my current situation.

APendola · December 2013

You have missed four days in four months? I don't think that is a big deal. I have worked with some people that miss way more than that and they don't even have kids.

I do my best to be at work and on time ... I rarely took a sick day in the past but now that I have a child, I have missed a few days. We get every second Friday off work, so once I moved my Friday off to be home with a sick baby. Also, DH can work from home...so he's picked up DD early when she was sick and did some work in the evening after I got home. So it is nice when work has some flex options to help you with family things.

thatgirlnicki · December 2013

Speaking from an administrator's position, I feel that it's your time to use. As long as you are taking your PTO, nobody should have anything to say about it. In addition, always making sure you don't leave people covering for you (i.e. cancel your meetings, etc.) and show appreciation when somebody does have to cover. If you're worried about what your boss thinks, you can always supply doctor's notes to back up the need for the time off. But, as previous poster said, you should use your benefits. That being said, we have an employee in the "negative" for time off and that really isn't acceptable and does irritate me quite a bit. It's unfair to the individuals that work the full 8 hour day, show up on time, and are careful about taking their time.

sweetsunnyc · December 2013

I get paranoid about taking time off too, but luckily I work in a family friendly environment. I have to remind myself that the sick and vacation time are a part of my benefits. Plus, you can never predict what's going to happen with the kids. I have three daughters and something is always coming up- I took off yesterday for my youngest daughters 1st birthday and I have to work a half day on Thursday because my 5 year old has a school play. I feel like it's important to be at these events, so I take the time. I would just keep communication open with your supervisor, but try not to worry what your co-workers think. I don't think that it's a reason to leave a job and as others mentioned, it does get easier as they get older.

jschmidt6 · December 2013

I feel bad leaving everyday at 5! I am always one of the first people in, but I feel guilty leaving when others are still working. Oh well, I can't stand the idea of having my little dude at daycare after 5 when it's dark outside and only 1 other baby there. Wondering what all these other daycare parents do for jobs with such flexible schedules

jasminelorraine20 · December 2013

jschmidt6 said:

I feel bad leaving everyday at 5! I am always one of the first people in, but I feel guilty leaving when others are still working. Oh well, I can't stand the idea of having my little dude at daycare after 5 when it's dark outside and only 1 other baby there. Wondering what all these other daycare parents do for jobs with such flexible schedules

I am like this too. I leave at 4:30 everyday, but like you I'm always early and I utilize my entire 9 hour work day to the fullest. I like getting to DS on time and all that feeling bad goes out the window once I've picked him up.

rubber_chicken · December 2013

if neither one of us can use a sick day, then sometimes BOTH my husband and I will stay home, and trade on and off. at least this way, we each get a chance to get work done. obviously, we both have jobs that can be done remotely.

Want a personalized experience?

How to you manage the inevitable absences that come up at work?

Re: How to you manage the inevitable absences that come up at work?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards