I am having a pity party....

Luckie519 · December 2013

I have been feeling awful all week. There has just been so much crap going on.

Monday, I found some old messages from an incident with DH back in early 2011. Back in 2011, I found some inappropriate texts on DH's phone, which eventually led to me finding e-mails, pictures and discovering over 1,000 text messages sent in a week's time between him and a female friend. He swears it never got physical and it was all "playful flirting." Whatever. Long story short, he moved out for a bit and I seriously considered divorce. We've been to counseling and things are better, but on accident I found some old messages on FB. I was looking for another message and he was aware I was on there to begin with. He apparently never knew the were there and they were ones I never saw back then. It was like reliving all of that all over again. I was also furious about some of the content of it also. I just can't deal with all that again.

Anyways, between that and feeling bad, I have been an emotional wreck. I ended up in L&D Thursday night with stomach pain and tightness, also back pain and pelvic pain. Thankfully, everything is good with the baby. I just have a few things that I need to follow up with my doctor this week. I really didn't do much this weekend, because I felt like crap still. I missed out on a Christmas party last night and I didn't even get dressed until today.

To top it all off, my MIL like invited everyone, except me, to brunch today. I know it's weird, but the people in our cul de sac, have all lived here for like 20 years, with the exception of me and DH and another couple and we regularly do things together. I have invited the group to every function I have had since we moved here in July 2012, even family get-togethers like Easter and Christmas. Then I guess all the ladies decided to go to brunch and no one asked me to go. When I found out, I literally started balling. I know that sounds crazy, but it pissed me off more than anything! I know I am just being hormonal, but it really hurt my feelings. Especially, since I go out of the way to include everyone all the time. Oh well.

Oh and I stupid one - I got my bangs cut and they look awful!

That's it, sorry for the mopey, pity party. I just needed to get some of it out! Tomorrow is a new week, hoping this one is better!

kseccomb17 · December 2013

Sorry about your bad week. Reading those types of things can definitely bring back hard, unwanted feelings. Just think, you're going to be holding your's and and your DH's beautiful baby soon! You have so much to look forward too, and hopefully with your prenatals, your bangs will grow out in no time! I hope you have a better week!

JoelleOK · December 2013

Hopefully you can get a real life hug to go with this internet stranger *hug*.

Do you know any breathing exercises or relaxation techniques? They could help you find your emotional balance again. Or maybe a nice bath. I hope you feel better soon.

Bun in the oven 2011 · December 2013

Aw I'm so sorry you've had a rough week

I hope you feel better soon!!

JessieAlbin · December 2013

I'm sorry you're having such a rough week doll face! Don't let it undo all of the work you have done to move forward in your marriage; like PP said, there is going to be a perfect, sweet little baby to remind you why you made the choice to forgive him in the first place, and that is a wonderful thing! Continued forgiveness is so stinking hard when you are slapped in the face with that original hurt, but the conscious choice to extend that grace and not punish him for that old hurt does wonderful things for your heart, your self respect, and your respect for him. Here's to hoping you get a break and have just as many wonderful things happen this week as awful things happened last week!