Friend's Pregnancy Announcement

AJCagle82 · December 2013

I'm so happy for her? Strange reaction to the announcement. I think I'm happy for her, but I know I'm jealous of her. Three months in and my reactions to others still can't be predicted. I know I'll be happy for her eventually, but I can't help my initial reaction being, "Screw you." I hate feeling like this towards good news. Good Lord, help me find happiness for others!

schulme2 · December 2013

I am so with you. A friend on fb who has a 9 month old just posted she's pregnant again and I just thought "great, of course you are!"

kz's_girlygirl · December 2013

I definitely get where you are coming from. It's really hard to separate the feelings if happiness from the feelings of jealousy/resentment. Its really frogging hard but it's ok to feel everything at once! Thinking if you

.

jess123456 · December 2013

Thinking of you. That is so hard. I have had multiple friends announce to me and honestly it stings so bad. Like pp said it is so very hard to separate being happy for them and sad for yourself and it is totally OK not to be happy for them too right now. When my sister announced to me I cried to her on the phone which I felt so guilty about. Now I ask friends to email me so I can process it on my own. It sucks all around. Hugs to you.

stefuge · December 2013

Your reaction is totally normal, and for someone who hasn't had a loss, I think it is so hard to understand how much those announcements hurt. I haven't had any close friends get pregnant since our loss, but I know it will happen. Any time someone on Facebook announces, all I really feel is jealous and a little disgusted, like PP have said " of course you are!" ((Hugs))

OSUWifey09 · December 2013

***SIGGY/pregnancy mentioned***

It took almost a year for me to be excited about other friends' pregnancies. Even after I found out I was expecting again, I still had this sense of dread and jealousy that would come over me when I would hear another friend was expecting. I felt so bad, but it was a reaction I couldn't help. It was hard to see them so excited when I was still grieving; I still have those moments at times, even after more than a year. I think it's a normal reaction for someone in our shoes. **hugs**

Dixon813 · December 2013

~~Siggy Warning~~

Oh, this is so difficult. Every time I hear that someone I know is pregnant, I WANT to be genuinely happy for them, but I feel like I'm just fake...

Even now, that I'm pregnant, there are certain women/friends I can't be around....I just can't do it...

Prayers to you!

stefuge · December 2013

I think it is really interesting that even you PGAL ladies still feel the same reactions to others pregnancy announcements. I hadn't really thought about it, but I think I would have assumed that the feelings of jealousy come from no longer being pregnant, and if I was once again pregnant, I wouldn't feel the jealousy anymore. Interesting. And sort of depressing. I guess those feelings become so ingrained after feeling them for so long, they just don't go away.

PiperS · December 2013

*** LO and pregnancy mentioned

I feel the same way when I hear about complication free pregnancies. I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, a healthy DD ( but I worried the whole time), and now I lost one twin and I'm still carrying them. I was never able to be blissfully pregnant and I resent that.

I also find myself wishing my best friend has a third boy because she wants a girl so bad and I am jealous of how easy things have always been for her. Grief can really bring out the worst in people.

cawettig · December 2013

I am so sorry, I have trouble with people being pregnant too. Even with this pregnancy I am still mad and jealous of other people who are pregnant. I don't know if it will ever go away.

OSUWifey09 · December 2013

stefuge said:

I think it is really interesting that even you PGAL ladies still feel the same reactions to others pregnancy announcements. I hadn't really thought about it, but I think I would have assumed that the feelings of jealousy come from no longer being pregnant, and if I was once again pregnant, I wouldn't feel the jealousy anymore. Interesting. And sort of depressing. I guess those feelings become so ingrained after feeling them for so long, they just don't go away.

***SIGGY/pregnancy mentioned***

I'm jealous of how truly happy they are. I mean, I'm happy, too, but I also have spent my entire pregnancy being terrified something is wrong/will go wrong. For most of the women in my life, they don't know what going through any sort of loss - miscarriage, late loss, etc. - is about, and I'm jealous that they get to enjoy pregnancy with no worries. That might sound stupid and hateful, and I hope they NEVER have to go through any of that heartbreak, but it's true.

irons633 · December 2013

I totally understand your feelings. I have a friend who is due 1 month after me and seeing her pictures of her being pregnant is hard. I want to be happy for her especially since she had a miscarriage before this pregnancy but i can't help but feel like why does she get to keep her baby and I couldn't keep mine. I never want anyone to endure what we all have but it's hard to not have those feelings. Only time will help sweetie!! (( hugs))

AJCagle82 · December 2013

Thanks, everyone. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I'm actually a little embarrassed that that was my reaction. I know I shouldn't be (it list like I said it to her). There are just so many emotions constantly just below the surface.

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