DS 1 at the hospital

lhgd1989 · November 2013

Hi! My son will be 18 months when DD is born. The plan is to have a c-section at 39 weeks is I have not had her via VBAC before then. The first day at the hospital my mother will be taking care of DS and bringing him to the hospital to visit his new sister and then staying the night at our how with him because DH will have to stay with me since I won't be able to walk yet due the spinal. My question is: should my DH then spend the next two days mainly with my son vs staying with me at the hospital the whole time? I want this transition to be as smooth as possible for DS. My mom offered to take him most of time those two days too but I just don't know which would be best to do. The last thing I want is for DS to feel like hes completely left out. I asked DH his opinion and he said whatever I want is fine. (No help there!) Any advice from other 2 under 2 moms? TIA

jesselayne8 · November 2013

Mine are 17 months apart. My SIL kept DD and brought her to the hospital for about 30 min each day while MH stayed at the hospital. Worked out well for us.

smerka · November 2013

Mine are just over 11 months apart so my older one was completely unaware. He stayed at home with my parents and/or inlaws. He didn't even come to the hospital while I was there. I would not recommend having no one stay with you at night. I wasn't in any shape to take care of the baby even after the spinal wore off. I could barely get out of bed unassisted and I had a planned c-section.

lhgd1989 · November 2013

Thanks ladies! If DH does not stay with me at night I am sure my mom

lhgd1989 · November 2013

Sorry.... my phone cut me off. My mom will stay with me at night if DH stays with me son.

jf198400 · November 2013

My kids are 18months apart. Dd stayed with my MIL for 3days while DH and I were at the hospital. She came for short visits each day. I gave mil instructions on DDs schedule and it was perfectly fine. I would let your mom watch your older child the whole time.

jllmb79 · November 2013

My hospital didn't allow under 14 because of cold and flu season. I went into labor early at 2 am at 36 weeks. My husband had to sit in the car and wait for his mom to drive 2 hours to care for my 21 month old. My csection was at 7am and I was up walking by 7pm. That night I had my husband stay. I had the rest of the nights alone and was fine. I had him spend alot of time with DD#1 since she could not come see me. It was nice getting alone time with DD#2 at the hospital.

mommymegan831 · December 2013

I also spent most of my hospital stay alone with #2. The day I had DS my parents took DD to Chuck E Cheese and had fun with her, but DH picked her up that night and took her home. He had her then next day and a half while I was in the hospital and would bring her by for a little while, alone at 1st but then there were usually other family members so she kept busy. I also made her up a gift bag from DS that included special snacks and stuff to try and keep her busy.

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2013

Dd was born on a Tuesday. Dh stayed at the hospital that day and overnight the first night. On Wednesday and Thursday he went to work during the day until 4, came and spent a few hours with me and the baby, got ds at my parents and slept at home with him. On friday he worked a half day and then came to the hospital until we got discharged. we picked up ds from my moms on the way home. It worked out really well because Dhs two weeks off from work didn't start until that Monday when she was six days old so he was able to be at home until she was 3 weeks. The hospital staff was great--I sent her to the nursery overnight and they brought her every two hours to nurse. They did all the diaper changes for me--I just snuggled and nursed all day.

lhgd1989 · December 2013

Thanks everyone!!!

crene84 · December 2013

My DD was only 14 months when DS was born (a couple weeks ago) and I was really worried about her anxiety. It was soo hard to leave her. But, she did amazingly well with my neighbors (until my in-laws could fly in) and then she did great with them. We decided not to have DD visit because we figured seeing us and then having to leave us would be hard...and DH considered going back to see her during the day but again, decided maybe it was best for her to not see us until we were home for good and it all worked out great.

LC122 · December 2013

I think you need to think about what your son would prefer. Has he stayed with your mom for extended periods before? Is she more fun than you and your DH?
Our DD had never stayed with anyone else before so she was at the hospital for the delivery. DH took her home later that night and they returned the next day. It was just DD2 and I in the hospital overnight and that was fine, but I didn't have a C-section, so that is probably a game changer.

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