PANIC MODE.

am0138 · December 2013

I am almost to the point of a panic attack...can't sleep, tummy troubles, nausea...all from (what I think) is sheer fear and anxiety of having my baby!!! 35w so the time is coming. I'm so afraid I won't be able to handle it, I won't know how to push, I'll puke everywhere, I'll end up with a c section when I've never experienced surgery, etc. Plus I'm afraid of needles and thoroughly grossed out by blood. I'm just so terrified of the unknown!! I've heard labor isn't that bad and just a little worse than period cramps, and I've heard that other ladies wanted to die it was so horrible. I want to know the truth and how to deal. I'm definitely letting the fear overwhelm me! I know you guys aren't psychologists, but please someone talk some sense into me and give me something to fill my mind with besides the fact that I want out but that won't happen until she comes out! I have to face it and I'm terrified!!

AnnikaD20 · December 2013

I think a lot of us FTMs are a bit freaked out by the idea of labor (probably some STMs too). Childbirth classes actually helped me a lot with knowing what to expect and mentally preparing.

I think the thing that calmed me down the most was realizing that labor only lasts for a short time. For most women it's less than a day, and the hellish part is only a couple hours. I can get through a few hours of pain. And if not, that's why God made epidurals.

am0138 · December 2013

And Google is never a good thing for me, personally : / I'm a piece of work!

kteeswei · December 2013

Can you take a birthing class? I think it would help prepare you so there will be a lot less to worry about. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I hadn't done this.

am0138 · December 2013

I already did : / It seemed to focus on what to look for as far as when to get to the hospital, stretches and exercises, and skin to skin. Unfortunately it was not much of a help IMO. I was definitely hoping it would ease a lot of my anxiety!

AshleyDoll · December 2013

This is my 5th baby and I'm nervous and anxious as well... I don't know about for others but for me it's like I'm a FTM all over again! The only thing I can suggest is that you TRY to put those emotions on hold and focus on the positive of the experience, i.e seeing your baby for the first time, counting fingers and toes, holding baby and how from the minute your LO is born, you'll have a love and connection you NEVER thought possible.

I know it's way easier said than done (I'm a HUGE worrier!) but I can promise you that when the time comes that a lot of that panic will disappear because you'll be so focused on everything going on like getting through contractions one by one... And no matter how baby is delivered, no matter what happens, it will all be worth it! Good luck mama! Try not to stress!

RedSaffron · December 2013

Just letting you that I'm there with you on all those thoughts too as a FTM and with a history of having anxiety attacks, I totally understand. It's easier to say, don't worry..but what keeps me calm is knowing that I'm not the first person in the world going through this and that women have been giving birth long before a needle was invented. Anticipation gives us time to worry, but once we are going through the moment, it will probably won't be as bad as we imagine. Good luck mama!

glitzandglitter · December 2013

I think it is completely normal to be worried.

You will be able to to handle it. It is amazing what our bodies/we can do. When the time comes you will find the strenght to get through.

Pushing - Nobody goes in as a FTM really knowing how to push. It's just something you learn in the moment. The nurses will be there to help you learn how.

Puking everywhere - they will give you something to throw up in so it won't be everywhere and the moment you see your sweet LOs face you will forget about puke, blood and whatever else is going on and it will all be worth it. (For the record - I went through labor before I had a CS with DS1 and never puked.)

I was terrified of needles before my first pregnancy. They don't really bother me anymore though. I just don't loolk when they stick me.

CS - I was scared when they told me that I needed a CS for the first time. However, in that moment all I cared about was getting my DS here safely and what was best for him. I would not suggest people signing up for CS for no reason but if you have to have one - they are not that bad and I was surprised at how well I recovered.

Blood - I remember with DS1 they asked if I wanted a mirror so I could see what was going on. I responded with 'No thanks - my head is on this end for a reason' LOL. There was blood but not any scary amounts. To be honest the only real amount of blood I remember seeing was after my boys were born and it was just PP bleeding. Mine was just like a heavy period so that wasn't that bad either.

Everyone's birth is different - some have an easy time with contractions others they are very painful. They have meds for those of us who need them.

It helped me a lot to focus on why we were here (in the hospital) and that soon our sweet LO will be in our arms and it is true - the first moment you see and hold your LO it makes it all worth it.

worleygirl · December 2013

I just tell myself the baby is coming out one way or another. Remember you will be with trained and experienced medical professionals. I recommend when you are stressing out with worry trying to distract yourself with something non baby related like a puzzle or book. Worrying about the unknown can cause extreme panic. It's natural to feel this way though and many women go through this. Hope you feel better.

gina0485 · December 2013

I'll be honest. This might sound granola crunchy, but I meditate. As a FTM I recognize it's important to control fear if one wants to have a calm birthing process. I'm not saying I never get anxious, but doing prenatal yoga and listening to meditation tracks to help me into deep relaxation has been a game changer. Something to think about!

JaneW2 · December 2013

How bad will it be? It depends. For some lucky women, it's short and only moderately painful, for some it's pretty bad.

Don't be afraid to use pain relief. Everyone I know who got an epidural thought it was great, and epidural anesthesia is safe for you and the baby.

Definitely, do consider a childbirth class. Ask your OB to recommend one that presents balanced information, though, because some are run by natural-birth fanatics. (There's nothing wrong with natural birth, but I don't think a childbirth educator should be demonizing options that have a really good safety record.)

This is my first time, and I'm not looking forward to the birth, but I keep telling myself: Ultimately, this is one day out of your life. You'll get through it, if anything goes wrong the doctors will deal, and then you get a wonderful baby to take home and keep.

megs12914 · December 2013

I've had the "can't go back" fear but I look at my sisters and friends and they all seem to love it and make it work so it helps me.
I think you will hit a point where you just cope. When my water broke 2 1/2 weeks ago I literally lost it for a few days. Oh and a csection? I was really upset but now I have had time to grasp everything and just think about being a mommy.

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