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I really need some help with bedtime, please

HmschultzHmschultz member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Hey Everyone- I don't post often but do read almost daily. First, thanks for opening this and reading it. 

My son (7.5 months old) has been a pretty good sleeper since about 3 months old. He has not STTN very often but got up once or twice a night and when we put him down awake he would put himself to sleep. We have had 4 ear infections, thrush and 2 teeth in the last 2 months and it was really destroyed his sleep patterns.

Some nights we can put him down and he will put himself to sleep but more often than not he cries and we pick him up and do shush pat. What does happen every. single. night. is that he wakes up about 30-60 minutes sobbing and I can't get him back down. He will cry on and off for sometimes 2 hours. It's awful. Sometimes when he is calm I can hear him take some very deep whimpers- almost like he is exhausted but then goes back to crying again. I can't calm him down when he is like this- he will not be comforted by the bottle, rocking, holding, shushing, patting, pacifier, etc. When he finally does clam down and sleeps it is usually  on the floor mat and I have been sleeping next to him. He is waking up sometimes every 2-3 hours. What really gets me is that he can and will sometimes cry out in the middle of the night for a few seconds but then go right back to bed so I know he can put himself to sleep.

Our bedtime is around 6:15-6:30 (I moved it up from 7ish). We do naked floor time (to air out his behind ) bath, book, bottle (sometimes- depending on when he last ate), turn on his nighttime turtle and then we try to put him in the crib.

We have taken him to the doctor and he is fine, no ear infections and he cries whether or not he has ibuprofen and/or tylenol on board (for teething pain).

Is anyone else experiencing this? I am so exhausted and so is my husband. We don't want to sleep train and are of the belief that the first year is a crap shoot with sleep. This is heart wrenching for us to watch and probably for DS to go through.
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Re: I really need some help with bedtime, please

  • LisaLisa1980LisaLisa1980 member
    Me me!! Lol DS wakes up 30 mins after we put him down and then on bad nights it can take 2 hrs to put back down. I've decided not to fight this anymore and just get him up. I did this for the first time 2 weeks ago after he woke at 7pm. We all hung out in bed & ordered Chinese food and played with DS. It was fun family time. If it was in the MOTN it'd be a different story.

    I've been dealing with sleep issues for months now and take it day by day. I have no plans to sleep train because I believe he is able to figure it out on his own. He is an extremely active and freakishly strong baby who is meeting milestones early. Who wants to sleep when they can do other things?? It's tough, I know. I'm exhausted too
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  • =Lee=B=Lee=B member

    Holy moly, 4 ear infections, thrush and 2 teeth in 2 months.  YIKES!  I feel for you!!

    Popping 2 teeth here was enough to throw everything out the window I can't imagine how things are there!!

     

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  • bibby32714bibby32714 member

    Maybe try a nap and move bed time later.  This really helped our sleep issues. SHe was waking after a few hours and wanted play time and would take us hr or more to get back down. Since we moved her back she is sleeping for 5 or more hrs and eating and right back for another 5 hrs.

    Sorry about all the illnesses. That is really hard!

     

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  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    Nicb13 said:

    Can I ask why you don't want to sleep train? There are gentle methods out there.

    Sounds like your LO needs some help rather than you frantically trying to figure out what to do and trying everything under the sun which leaves your whole house exhausted. Sounds like you deal with wake-up's differently depending on what you think will work so your LO is just confused (if your efforts work at all).

    I didn't read any sleep books, just did what I thought was best. We were consistent night after night, with every wake up and eventually DS learned to put himself back to sleep and not need me every time. But we had to be 100% consistent and not give up.

    I swear this is the answer to almost all sleep related issues on the bump.
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  • PhieryBFlyPhieryBFly member
    edited December 2013
    honeydew01 said:
    Nicb13 said:

    Can I ask why you don't want to sleep train? There are gentle methods out there.

    Sounds like your LO needs some help rather than you frantically trying to figure out what to do and trying everything under the sun which leaves your whole house exhausted. Sounds like you deal with wake-up's differently depending on what you think will work so your LO is just confused (if your efforts work at all).

    I didn't read any sleep books, just did what I thought was best. We were consistent night after night, with every wake up and eventually DS learned to put himself back to sleep and not need me every time. But we had to be 100% consistent and not give up.

    I swear this is the answer to almost all sleep related issues on the bump.
    It certainly seems that way... Which seems odd to me since it's a relatively new phenomenon. To OP, I was reading article the other day about how mothers in Africa deal with night wakings like this. I thought it was a pretty interesting take on the topic! https://evolutionaryparenting.com/guest-post-african-way-sttn/
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  • MrsG071809MrsG071809 member
    We went through a short phase like this that went along with 2 teeth cutting.  I read No Cry Sleep Solution, and was trying some of the techniques but in the end we just had to power through it and now she's sleeping much better.  The nights that she would cry and cry and not go back down I just held her and rocked her until she finally calmed down.  I never really figured out any magic solution, like I said we just powered through.  Sorry to hear of all you've been through, hopefully you'll be through this phase soon!  FWIW, I'm not a fan of sleep training either. 
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  • MrsG071809MrsG071809 member
    PhieryBFly said:
    It certainly seems that way... Which seems odd to me since it's a relatively new phenomenon. To OP, I was reading article the other day about how mothers in Africa deal with night wakings like this. I thought it was a pretty interesting take on the topic! https://evolutionaryparenting.com/guest-post-african-way-sttn/
    That was a good read!  It definitely helps to think about adult sleep - I know I never sleep 12 hours straight without waking up even once, so it is a little crazy to expect my baby to.
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  • HmschultzHmschultz member
    Am I really inconsistent?  :-/ I don't know- I have just been trying different things to see what would work. I guess I have not found something that works so that is why I am asking for help. 

    What would you do when he wakes up? I listed the items that I have tried so that everyone knew what to recommend. 

    Again, I don't mind the middle of the night wake ups- its the wake ups after he goes down and the crying for up to two-three hours. I can tell he is tired when he is doing this and I can't do anything to comfort him.  



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  • capstone52501capstone52501 member
    PhieryBFly said:
    honeydew01 said:
    Nicb13 said:

    Can I ask why you don't want to sleep train? There are gentle methods out there.

    Sounds like your LO needs some help rather than you frantically trying to figure out what to do and trying everything under the sun which leaves your whole house exhausted. Sounds like you deal with wake-up's differently depending on what you think will work so your LO is just confused (if your efforts work at all).

    I didn't read any sleep books, just did what I thought was best. We were consistent night after night, with every wake up and eventually DS learned to put himself back to sleep and not need me every time. But we had to be 100% consistent and not give up.

    I swear this is the answer to almost all sleep related issues on the bump.
    It certainly seems that way... Which seems odd to me since it's a relatively new phenomenon. To OP, I was reading article the other day about how mothers in Africa deal with night wakings like this. I thought it was a pretty interesting take on the topic! https://evolutionaryparenting.com/guest-post-african-way-sttn/

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