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April 2014 Moms
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Post baby family visits

mlm646mlm646 member
in April 2014 Moms
I need opinions please! DH will get two weeks off after our little girl gets here. Our son will be 18 months old at the time.

Both of our parents live a flight away and obviously both want to visit. Background real quick on parents -- my parents are great with our son and really help out around the house, walk our dogs, etc. In-laws... Well they're nice but my MIL drinks and smokes all day, they don't help around the house, and both DH and I are not comfortable with them watching our son by themselves (just at thanksgiving MIL recommended letting our son chew on a chicken wing bc he's teething -- uhh what?!?).

So to the question --
1. Have both sets of parents visit during DH two weeks off at the same time (thus eliminating in-laws alone with our son at the zoo and letting him fall in the lion den).
2. Let parents visit separately during DH time off but then in-laws will just be at our house visiting the whole time.
3. Have parents visit together when DH goes back to work so we have 2 weeks of just family time.
4. Have parents visit separately when DH goes back to work (but them I'm likely stuck with in-laws all day just squating in my house).

Hope this makes some sense... And thanks if you got this far. :)
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Re: Post baby family visits

  • scarlesscarles member
    How long would these trips be? Can it be over a weekend when your husband would be home?
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  • spano41spano41 member
    I agree with @Lalamama81.  DH parents come when he's around and yours come after he's back at work so they can help you out.  I personally would never want to have to have both sides there at the same time and they probably would appreciate not having to share their time with the baby.
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  • smashton14thsmashton14th member
    I agree with LalaMama81.
    When i had my DD, my parents were there to help out for a week. It was when my DH had off though. Even though it was nice to have them right after it would've been nice to have them once my DH goes back to work.
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  • Sarahjess06Sarahjess06 member
    I agree with the others. Have the in laws come the second week oh DHs time off and have your parents come after he goes back.
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  • spano41spano41 member
    I just want to say that I am so jealous of all of the people who live close to family and won't have to deal with out of town guests.  We have already had requests from 6 separate people/couples to come visit in the first couple months.  I don't know how I'm going to do it....I don't want to have to say no because they are all family and are excited to meet the baby but it is going to be a lot to deal with.
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  • mlm646mlm646 member
    Both sets of parents would be staying a week max. In-laws stay in a hotel because it's just easier on everyone and my parents stay with us. Never thought to have in-laws come the 2nd week and my parents come the 3rd... That may be genius!! Good call ladies!
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  • NicoleAnne416NicoleAnne416 member
    his parents the second week of leave, yours after that (when DH goes back to work to keep helping you out). And just don't let them take DS alone.

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  • homedivahomediva member
    Ugh I feel for you girl! We have to have both sets come too. My policy in general is that DH has to be around as a buffer when his parents are here. Doesn't always work but that's what I try for! I can't give advice as I can't figure it out for myself either! Do you need your parents to watch your son while you are having baby?
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  • strawberrytreestrawberrytree member
    LalaMama81 said:
    I would have his parents visit his 2nd week of leave and have your parents come the week after that. 
    Yup. Good call with the hotel too. I would also lay down the law for MIL before she comes about absolutely no drinking or smoking around the baby, including stepping outside for a cigarette and then coming back in and expecting to hold the baby in her nicotine-covered hands. Third hand smoke is a huge health hazard for newborns (well, anyone, but particularly newborns.

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  • kwolslagerkwolslager member

    I vote wait! Have them come a month after baby.. I'm telling you, you'll be so stressed out dealing with a new baby AND having over-night guests.

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  • mlm646mlm646 member
    homediva said:
    Ugh I feel for you girl! We have to have both sets come too. My policy in general is that DH has to be around as a buffer when his parents are here. Doesn't always work but that's what I try for! I can't give advice as I can't figure it out for myself either! Do you need your parents to watch your son while you are having baby?

    I have a few friends here that could watch DS overnight if needed.
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  • mlm646mlm646 member
    edited December 2013
    Yea she knows the rules about smoking around us. I'm sure we'll have to remind her about it though with a newborn. Her smoking and drinking makes me insane... It's out of control but because she did it while she was pregnant with her two boys so she sees it as an overreaction on our part.
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  • AcaAwkwardAcaAwkward member
    poru said:


    LalaMama81 said:

    I would have his parents visit his 2nd week of leave and have your parents come the week after that. 

    This!


    Exactly what I was thinking.
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  • mrsB68mrsB68 member
    Agree with the 2nd week DH is off. I also would lay the law back down and if they think you're overreacting they can stay home. Your baby, your rules...bottom line.

    I have no tolerance and have to deal with the same behavior so I'm a little pissy about smoking around others. lol
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  • partridgeb06partridgeb06 member
    We have a small cottage in FL- No house guests. Parents will stay in an extended stay when baby comes. They completely understand and it is the best solution for us :) Your focus should be on the baby, not "entertaining" .
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  • Luckyducky21Luckyducky21 member
    I would just tell your parents that you are not comfortable leaving the inlaws by themselves with your kids and have the inlaws.visit first because having 4 extra people will be overwhelming and have the inlaws visit for a shorter time than planned and have your parents come and stay longer afterwards
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