Ttc- Rollercoaster ride

barely · December 2013

DH and I have been Ttc since may, which is also when I stopped taking BC (nuvaring). I was on bc for about 7 years and stopped getting my period while on nuvaring (OB said this was normal). I didn't have a period for about 4 years. After I stopped bc in may I got AF in July and have only had it twice since then. My first cycle was 9 weeks and the second was 8. I haven't been charting or temping because I find it to add more stress. It is very disheartening and frustrating to see everyone around me becoming pregnant with their second or third child or an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy when there is nothing I want more. I know up to a year is normal but it's still difficult. Support/suggestions are helpful. DH is 25 and I'm 23 btw.

MrsChanceW · December 2013

One of my really good friends had this happen to her too. It took her about a year before things settled down and she got pregnant. She was about 7 months into TTC and was really really stressed out so she stopped trying and her and her hubby went back to their business normally. Then when she stopped worrying about it BAM! She was preggo. I'm sure if it happened to her it can happen to you too!

Good Luck!

barely · December 2013

Hearing these kind of things really help my spirits, thanks!!

Twinkie0612 · December 2013

MrsChanceW said:

One of my really good friends had this happen to her too. It took her about a year before things settled down and she got pregnant. She was about 7 months into TTC and was really really stressed out so she stopped trying and her and her hubby went back to their business normally. Then when she stopped worrying about it BAM! She was preggo. I'm sure if it happened to her it can happen to you too! Good Luck!

I am sure that you are trying to be helpful, "Just stop worrying about it and stop trying" is about the most annoying and unhelpful advice you can give someone who is having issues (long anovulatory cycles or any infertility issue) TTC. Generally stress does not cause annovulatory cycles, so no amount of "not worrying" is really going to help.

OP- it can take time for your cycle to regulate after BC. If you have a cycle that hits 60 days, call your doc, who can give you meds to restart your cycle. I know you think temping is stressful, but you might want to reconsider trying it. It can confirm whether or not you are ovulating. If you find that you are not ovulating after several cycles, you might want to have some testing done to find out why.

MrsChanceW · December 2013

@twinkies0612 I was not telling her to stop trying or not to worry about it. I was just letting her know what happened to my friend. I was just trying to let her know that it took my friend a year after she got off BC (NuvaRing) to conceive, but it happened and that if it happened to her it could happen to @barley5feet too. I was not trying to be annoying or unhelpful. I was just trying to say that I had a friend in a similar situation and it worked out. I'm not saying that she should forget about and not worry or not go to a gyno to get checked out.

Twinkie0612 · December 2013

MrsChanceW said:

@twinkies0612 I was not telling her to stop trying or not to worry about it. I was just letting her know what happened to my friend. I was just trying to let her know that it took my friend a year after she got off BC (NuvaRing) to conceive, but it happened and that if it happened to her it could happen to @barley5feet too. I was not trying to be annoying or unhelpful. I was just trying to say that I had a friend in a similar situation and it worked out. I'm not saying that she should forget about and not worry or not go to a gyno to get checked out.

I get it, that's why I pointed out that I was sure you were trying to be helpful.

I think it is the way you worded your story. If you had said "my friend had the same issue coming off nuvaring and she ended up getting pregnant" then to me that's giving hope (although really just because your friend had success, doesn't mean OP will, but I understand needing to hear positive stories). Because you included the "stopped trying and worrying about it" portion of your story it seems like you are saying that this is part of the reason why she succeeded.

It's like when people tell infertile women their stories about someone they know who tried for years, did every infertility treatment under the sun, and then gave up (or adopted) and then BAM they got pregnant. It's a great story, but what they don't realize is that while it worked out for that person, there are many more people dealing with infertility that never get pregnant on their own.

Smallllmin · December 2013

Just remember that it can take several months for your hormones to regulate themselves after stopping BC. GL!

SmileyJay · December 2013

I know it is really hard but just give it more time and work closely with your obgyn. I don't know much about nuvaring and how long it takes coming off of it. I think it is a tough situation because you have been on birth control since you were a child (16) so you have no idea if you were really regular to begin with. Thankfully, you have time on your side and the odds are definitely in your favor if having a child!!! Just keep positive and enjoy the time with just your husband while taking great care of your body. Eating healthy, exercising, and taking prenatal vitamins can help a lot, too!

SmileyJay · December 2013

Also - just wanted to agree with Nicb13... you should see temping as empowering and taking control instead of leaving things to chance. It will help you conceive for sure because the conception window is small and a temp increase will let you at least have sex around ovulation to greatly increase your odds of success. Also, it will arm you with a lot of info for you obgyn so that if you are not successful they can help you more. Just a thought!

MrsChanceW · December 2013

@twinkie0612 I'm not saying that the fact my friend stopped trying and stopped worrying is the reason that she succeeded. The reason her and her husband stopped trying for awhile was because the sex was fun anymore and it was stressing her out trying to make a baby all the time. She really wanted it to get back to a point where it was making love not trying to reproduce. I myself have had my own fertility issues so I am well aware that things don't always turn out the way you hope. I just wanted to share my friend's happy story. Miracles DO happen. I prefer to keep faith. I hope someday a little miracle will happen to me.

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