I spend way more on Christmas gifts for my family than I do on my husband's family. My family are just better gift givers, so I reciprocate. His mom goes shopping on clearance racks in July, puts everything into a pile, then chooses from that pile for people's Christmas gifts. Last year I got a lava lamp, my SIL got a Snuggie, and we, as a family (myself, my husband and Kate) got an American flag on a pole with a gold, plastic eagle on the end. It's not like she can't afford more-my in laws are rich. The rest of his family is nearly as bad. So I just don't invest much thought/money into gifts for them. My husband has no clue what I spend on anyone-he is completely ignorant when it comes to our money. Seriously, I could divorce him and hide every penny of our retirement and savings and he wouldn't have have a clue.
It has been a stressful week for both me and my husband. I've been a bit overwhelmed with feeling like I do all the work around the house and with S when we are both home. He is helpful from time to time, but only after we've had a talk about it or if I ask him. He rarely does it on his own.
We are probably one and doners, one reason being finances. But the big reason I don't want to tell him or anyone else I know IRL is because I don't want to get stuck with doing twice as much work and me feeling stressed about him not pulling his own weight around here.
What is it with husbands right now? We just had a pretty huge blow up about this exact same thing last night. And we rarely fight. He makes me feel like I am asking too much because he works so much and I only work part time. But it's getting worse as Kate is getting older because she is getting way more clingy with me, and it's making it difficult for me to get everything done I need to.
I never answer the phone when I see it's my mom. I need to mentally prepare so I call her back in anywhere between 15 minutes and the next day. She wants to talk about Howell's Christmas presents and I know that no matter what I say, get him anything you like, he's not so into xyz, he is really into xyz, etc. it doesn't matter. She will take it to mean whatever she's gettin him is wrong and act all offended. Really, I don't care. He has plenty of stuff and gets free clothes from his cousins. But saying we're happy with anything is the worst insult imaginable. I think I may have a glass of wine with lunch to prepare. So that's a double confession. Drinking alone in the middle of the day AND being a ba daughter.
H left out turkey soup I made for eight hours and didn't put it away until 4:00 am earlier this week. We paid an arm and a leg for that turkey and I'd have been damned to let it go to waste. We still ate it and we lived to tell the tale.
I was having anxiety about gift shopping for everyone yesterday. It's usually all on me to figure out what people want 'cause DH's response is always "I don't know".
Anyway...I mistakenly call my mother to tell her I'm gonna help her get the present for B she's been talking about for months but couldn't afford (despite lavishing gifts on my niece all year) and that would be my gift to her. After all it's about the kids right? WRONG. Mother says she doesn't want a child's toy for Christmas, she's tired of being left high and dry (um, I've shipped her nice stuff the past several yrs - p.s. we live far apart thank The Lord), I only have one mother (her) and she wants a nice holiday for once. We fight, because that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard (and she wasn't even done ranting on my terrible gift giving over the years) and I finally call her on it and turn the tables by asking what she is getting ME. Silence. FFFC is I want to send her a dirty lump of coal for being a twat and sending my holiday anxiety into overdrive.
Baker, I empathize with you and will join you for a drink.
I'm in musical/sound warfare with my neighbor. He's playing bad old random 90's hip hop and house music mixed with the constant "DUN-DUN!" from his daily Law and Order marathon.
My response is letting my kid play with the stainless steel mixing bowls and Christmas music.
My FFFC is I haven't bought one gift yet this year and if I had it my way I would not get DS and DH something. We are single income right now and can't afford anything but my DH loves gifts and my sis-in-law and bro are good gift givers so we have to do something. I just feel bad because they will probably get us nice things and I can only afford so much. I hate not having money to be able to just buy a family or friend lunch or coffe or a gift:( it's such a sacrifice for us right now. I just want dh done with school so we can pay our bills and save some money. I would love another baby sooner rather than later but finances won't allow it anytime soon. I guess my real FFFC is I hate all things money!
My whole family is sick. We are typically out and about a lot, so staying at home all day is killing me. To alleviate the boredom, I gave DD about half of her Christmas presents early.
It has been a stressful week for both me and my husband. I've been a bit overwhelmed with feeling like I do all the work around the house and with S when we are both home. He is helpful from time to time, but only after we've had a talk about it or if I ask him. He rarely does it on his own.
We are probably one and doners, one reason being finances. But the big reason I don't want to tell him or anyone else I know IRL is because I don't want to get stuck with doing twice as much work and me feeling stressed about him not pulling his own weight around here.
I've been feeling exactly like this too. DD has been sick, of course right at the time we both have huge important work things going on so we've been trading off watching her during the day. After she goes to bed, I get back to work, clean the kitchen, pick up and fall into bed. He sits down to play games because he is OMG SO EXHAUSTED from juggling work and our sick kid.
I'm going to start inserting jokes into conversation about being one and done. I love that we have DD in our lives but this has been impossibly rough on our marriage. When I think about extending this family dynamic to include a second kid, I don't see how our relationship could survivor.
Here's a real FFFC: I sent our kid to daycare today. Sue me. It's been four days in a row of her being perfectly energetic and fine during the day, and vomiting once at night before bed. It'll just have to be fine to be at daycare.
I was having anxiety about gift shopping for everyone yesterday. It's usually all on me to figure out what people want 'cause DH's response is always "I don't know".
Anyway...I mistakenly call my mother to tell her I'm gonna help her get the present for B she's been talking about for months but couldn't afford (despite lavishing gifts on my niece all year) and that would be my gift to her. After all it's about the kids right? WRONG. Mother says she doesn't want a child's toy for Christmas, she's tired of being left high and dry (um, I've shipped her nice stuff the past several yrs - p.s. we live far apart thank The Lord), I only have one mother (her) and she wants a nice holiday for once. We fight, because that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard (and she wasn't even done ranting on my terrible gift giving over the years) and I finally call her on it and turn the tables by asking what she is getting ME. Silence. FFFC is I want to send her a dirty lump of coal for being a twat and sending my holiday anxiety into overdrive.
Baker, I empathize with you and will join you for a drink.
It would rub me the wrong way if someone said their gift to me was to help me buy a gift for their child, much more so than no gift at all.
Our daycare lady texted to say that her younger daughter is sick and if we wanted to keep our kids home today, we could do so and she wouldn't charge us.
I sent DD anyway. I hate to miss work and DH has a major project going on. I'm not all that concerned about her being exposed to this girl's germs... She was there all day yesterday, anyway.
I'm still sleeping on my back at 31 weeks pregnant, because it's how I'm most comfortable. My OB is totally fine with it and I've had no issues with numbness or anything. But whenever other pregnant women hear that (like at prenatal yoga yesterday when the instructor asked us about whether we could lay on our backs for an exercise), they give me a look of shock and horror.
BFP #1 9/2010 (lost our baby at 21 weeks)
BFP #2 8/2011 (ectopic pregnancy)
BFP #3 10/2011 (chemical pregnancy)
BFP #4 12/2011 (Abigail born 8/15/12)
BFP #5 5/2013 (Griffin born 1/23/14 with heart defects, now repaired!)
I was having anxiety about gift shopping for everyone yesterday. It's usually all on me to figure out what people want 'cause DH's response is always "I don't know".
Anyway...I mistakenly call my mother to tell her I'm gonna help her get the present for B she's been talking about for months but couldn't afford (despite lavishing gifts on my niece all year) and that would be my gift to her. After all it's about the kids right? WRONG. Mother says she doesn't want a child's toy for Christmas, she's tired of being left high and dry (um, I've shipped her nice stuff the past several yrs - p.s. we live far apart thank The Lord), I only have one mother (her) and she wants a nice holiday for once. We fight, because that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard (and she wasn't even done ranting on my terrible gift giving over the years) and I finally call her on it and turn the tables by asking what she is getting ME. Silence. FFFC is I want to send her a dirty lump of coal for being a twat and sending my holiday anxiety into overdrive.
Baker, I empathize with you and will join you for a drink.
It would rub me the wrong way if someone said their gift to me was to help me buy a gift for their child, much more so than no gift at all.
I appreciate the opposite perspective but she's terrible with money and so poor right now "she can't sleep at night with worry"; I've helped her pay bills this year and all she did was lament that she couldn't afford to send B a birthday present in August. So I offered to play Santa. Her motto is charity begins at home so it seemed to be what she was hinting at to me anyway, but it backfired. Par for the course with this woman.
I was having anxiety about gift shopping for everyone yesterday. It's usually all on me to figure out what people want 'cause DH's response is always "I don't know".
Anyway...I mistakenly call my mother to tell her I'm gonna help her get the present for B she's been talking about for months but couldn't afford (despite lavishing gifts on my niece all year) and that would be my gift to her. After all it's about the kids right? WRONG. Mother says she doesn't want a child's toy for Christmas, she's tired of being left high and dry (um, I've shipped her nice stuff the past several yrs - p.s. we live far apart thank The Lord), I only have one mother (her) and she wants a nice holiday for once. We fight, because that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard (and she wasn't even done ranting on my terrible gift giving over the years) and I finally call her on it and turn the tables by asking what she is getting ME. Silence. FFFC is I want to send her a dirty lump of coal for being a twat and sending my holiday anxiety into overdrive.
Baker, I empathize with you and will join you for a drink.
It would rub me the wrong way if someone said their gift to me was to help me buy a gift for their child, much more so than no gift at all.
I appreciate the opposite perspective but she's terrible with money and so poor right now "she can't sleep at night with worry"; I've helped her pay bills this year and all she did was lament that she couldn't afford to send B a birthday present in August. So I offered to play Santa. Her motto is charity begins at home so it seemed to be what she was hinting at to me anyway, but it backfired. Par for the course with this woman.
I wore a pair of leggings to bed on Wednesday night after I showered. I continued to wear then throughout the day yesterday. And then I kept them on to go to bed last night. I am still wearing them now. But I'm about to shower for the first time since Wednesday night and will finally peel these leggings off of me. Part of me wants to put them back on after I get out of the shower.
I do this with black tank tops, which I wear under everything
BFP #1 9/2010 (lost our baby at 21 weeks)
BFP #2 8/2011 (ectopic pregnancy)
BFP #3 10/2011 (chemical pregnancy)
BFP #4 12/2011 (Abigail born 8/15/12)
BFP #5 5/2013 (Griffin born 1/23/14 with heart defects, now repaired!)
I wore a pair of leggings to bed on Wednesday night after I showered. I continued to wear then throughout the day yesterday. And then I kept them on to go to bed last night. I am still wearing them now. But I'm about to shower for the first time since Wednesday night and will finally peel these leggings off of me. Part of me wants to put them back on after I get out of the shower.
I do this with black tank tops, which I wear under everything
I wore a pair of leggings to bed on Wednesday night after I showered. I continued to wear then throughout the day yesterday. And then I kept them on to go to bed last night. I am still wearing them now. But I'm about to shower for the first time since Wednesday night and will finally peel these leggings off of me. Part of me wants to put them back on after I get out of the shower.
I do this with black tank tops, which I wear under everything
I'm having surgery on Monday and I'm looking forward to recovery time so that I can relax and other people can take care of my kid for a few days. I'm sad it will be my first time away from her, but I'm also a kind of excited to just do nothing for a while.
I'm tempted to take DS to my 5K in the morning (in the enclosed jogging stroller) even though it will be horrible weather. My reasoning? If DH has to get up with DS in the morning because I'm at the 5K, then he gets Sunday to sleep in and I don't get any day to sleep in and the opportunity only comes every two weeks.
I can't get into and don't understand the gift giving frenzy. Maybe it's because I am not close to the part of my family that celebrates Christmas and because Hanukah is already over. I have all the stuff I need and the only thing I really want cannot be purchased, a BFP next Sunday. And if my FET is not successful, no sweater, piece of jewelry or pocketbook would lessen the pain.
TTC since 3-08
IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP
DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12
Big hugs to everyone today. @NeneCakies your mom especially is being a definite twat.
My confession is that I think I'm addicted to Facebook.
I need to get it together or I may need an intervention. I made a rule for myself that when DS is up, my phone is away but when he goes to bed, I get sucked in big time.
Okay I have a confession. I check the shower for bugs/spiders every time before I use it.
Before anyone thinks my house is gross, Ilive in Florida. No matter how clean your house is they find a way in.
This is so true. Six years in Florida made me a bug-checker, too!
Re: FFFC!
I never answer the phone when I see it's my mom. I need to mentally prepare so I call her back in anywhere between 15 minutes and the next day. She wants to talk about Howell's Christmas presents and I know that no matter what I say, get him anything you like, he's not so into xyz, he is really into xyz, etc. it doesn't matter. She will take it to mean whatever she's gettin him is wrong and act all offended. Really, I don't care. He has plenty of stuff and gets free clothes from his cousins. But saying we're happy with anything is the worst insult imaginable. I think I may have a glass of wine with lunch to prepare. So that's a double confession. Drinking alone in the middle of the day AND being a ba daughter.
H left out turkey soup I made for eight hours and didn't put it away until 4:00 am earlier this week. We paid an arm and a leg for that turkey and I'd have been damned to let it go to waste. We still ate it and we lived to tell the tale.
Anyway...I mistakenly call my mother to tell her I'm gonna help her get the present for B she's been talking about for months but couldn't afford (despite lavishing gifts on my niece all year) and that would be my gift to her. After all it's about the kids right? WRONG. Mother says she doesn't want a child's toy for Christmas, she's tired of being left high and dry (um, I've shipped her nice stuff the past several yrs - p.s. we live far apart thank The Lord), I only have one mother (her) and she wants a nice holiday for once. We fight, because that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard (and she wasn't even done ranting on my terrible gift giving over the years) and I finally call her on it and turn the tables by asking what she is getting ME. Silence. FFFC is I want to send her a dirty lump of coal for being a twat and sending my holiday anxiety into overdrive.
Baker, I empathize with you and will join you for a drink.
My response is letting my kid play with the stainless steel mixing bowls and Christmas music.
Except I don't think it was water.
I don't think Elphaba is defying gravity anymore...
I'm going to start inserting jokes into conversation about being one and done. I love that we have DD in our lives but this has been impossibly rough on our marriage. When I think about extending this family dynamic to include a second kid, I don't see how our relationship could survivor.
I sent DD anyway. I hate to miss work and DH has a major project going on. I'm not all that concerned about her being exposed to this girl's germs... She was there all day yesterday, anyway.
I think they are so dumb looking- I saw a guy with a wreath on his SUV. I was like WTF?!
Cars with eyelashes are worse. Ughhh
Before anyone thinks my house is gross, Ilive in Florida. No matter how clean your house is they find a way in.
FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN
FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN
No more frosties
IVF #2. September 2014
PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts
SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN
Not sure where to go from here.
My confession is that I think I'm addicted to Facebook.
I need to get it together or I may need an intervention. I made a rule for myself that when DS is up, my phone is away but when he goes to bed, I get sucked in big time.