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January 2014 Moms
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I don't want to yell anymore!

MiaMyPuggleMiaMyPuggle member
in January 2014 Moms
If you're like me, you're easily overwhelmed and, as a result, can't keep your composure for the life of you. This is especially when dealing with your kids.
I spoke with my close friend today and she said that she literally went through the same thing as I did today: I broke down after yelling at my son for the millionth time today bc he DOES NOT LISTEN. I told him that I loved him and started bawling because of the guilt. My mom was a yeller and a hitter and I swore I would never ever do that to my children. The only thing I succeeded at was not hitting.
My friend sent me this:
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/2886161
I read it and, now that I know I'm not alone, I have some clarity and less guilt. Counting to 10 and walking away is step 1. Starting today. I don't want my son being terrified of mommy because she's overwhelmed and stressed beyond anyone's control.
Hope this helps anyone else in my shoes.

 Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PitaPata Dog tickers
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Re: I don't want to yell anymore!

  • last14reallast14real member
    I'm sorry that you are having a rough time, my DS is 2 yrs 9 months and I can definitly relate. I will strongly agree with the not lashing out physically is sometimes hard but a MUST!! I am guilty of yelling too much as well and last week when I yelled at my DS he started to cry and I felt like a monster so I began to cry. I patiently correct him 95% of the time, but by the end of the night we are both tired, daddy's not home, and feelings can get hurt. The counting to ten and deep breathes is a great method or I also walk away if I am so angry I feel like I cannot verbally explain what he has done wrong. That doesn't happen often but when he cut up an afghan I had been crocheting for 3 months I just had to walk away. I would say it does get better though he has progressed a ton in the last 6 months (I see your DS is 6 months younger than mine) as far as he explains to me why he does something. Then we talk about why he can't do that and I tell him why it makes me sad. He doesn't like when I'm sad, pretty nice guy my boy:) Plus some of this is hormones, so it will get better!!
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  • MiaMyPuggleMiaMyPuggle member
    @junglebaby11 - I also feel terrible bc my son is also sensitive to my feelings and he immediately says, "but, Mommy, I'm so sorry" and tries to get me to smile and will say, "just smile!," and look at me with the cutest smile in his face.
    I feel like yelling is detrimental to the baby and I'm going to give her a heart attack.

     Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PitaPata Dog tickers
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  • SiblynikaSiblynika member
    I've always struggled with my temper and I don't want to be a yeller- my mother never raised her voice at any of us and I've never understood how she managed it; after reading that, I think I know her secret.


    baby development

     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • last14reallast14real member
    @MiaMyPuggle try not to beat yourself up too much, as long as you are making the effort to not yell as much than you are being a good mommy. Sometimes it's ok to yell, when it's something really bad or they are in danger. If you overreact to something you shouldn't sit down and talk to him about it after. I usually start with "Liam, mommy is sorry I yelled, but when you .... I get very upset. I need you to please.... so that we don't have this problem". He always say yes or ok and I tell him that I love him and he says that he loves me too and I LOVE to hear that:) Just keep trying you are a good mama!!
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  • agunnetagunnet member
    I yell on a daily basis at my older kids and it's so hard to manage everything right now. I totally understand and I feel like I'm failing at being a mom. I'm doing the best I can and have to take a step back sometimes and realize I'm not perfect. I try my best but sometimes my kids need a little yelling to get the message.
    imagebaby development

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  • jessicacssjessicacss member
    Thank you for this article.  I want to stop yelling, too.  But my little girl is so bratty sometimes!  I try my best to be calm, but I will try her methods.  I recently started saying things to her, like, "do you wanna go night night right now?" and she gets all pouty and goes and puts her head in her hands and fake cries.  It's cute, but I should just relax and talk to her nicely about what she is doing wrong, as PP's have said

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    Proud Mommy of my Chloe Cat 

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    Jan 14 Mom's January 2014 Siggy Challenge: Post Delivery Indulgences

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  • ChuggingWaterChuggingWater member
    I really just want the past week and upcoming month to disappear. I've been yelling at DS1, 6.5, and am petrified it is ruining our relationship.
    imageimage
    Baby Chugging born 12.28.13
    induction due to HELLP
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