DH, Daycare, DS, and my Freezer Stash

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

Sully has been in daycare for about a month now. I started off sending him with five 3oz bottles hoping he wouldn't take all of it in one day. Surprise, he did. Our daycare lady started combining some feedings for him so at times he was getting a 6 oz bottle which I thought was a lot of a 3 mo old. To make life easier and minimize bottle washing I then just started sending three 5 oz bottles. The whole 15 oz a day seemed extreme, but adding a pumping session in the AM and before bed allowed me to meet the weekly demand and still have a little to freeze at the end of the week.

Two weeks into daycare I received a text from her around 2pm one day saying she was out of BM and Sully was fussing. Seriously? A whole 15 oz and STILL needing more? Ok, whatever. I left work early and picked him up. I gave her 6x5 oz = 30 oz of frozen BM for emergencies. As of yesterday that 30 oz is gone, and she wants more. DH said he would bring her 15 bags of frozen BM. FIFTEEN BAGS?!?!

First off I'm surprised the 30 oz is already gone, and the majority of that was depleted within a week. I've talked to her about this a few times because when I get home I NEED to nurse or pump, and too often Sully passes out and isn't hungry so I have to pump again. Really not the ideal plan. Second I don't understand how when I have the day off he is perfectly content with the amount he gets straight from the tap, and often I am getting engorged between feedings because he is often content and doesn't nurse too often. Then the days I work I am barely pumping enough to keep up with the 15 oz a day AND my freezer stash is shrinking!

This morning I packed up another couple bags of BM and sent it off to daycare. DH started to get pissed off at me because I took the time to write down the dates and amounts in each bag I was sending to daycare, but dude I need to keep track of what is leaving my freezer stash. He asked why I needed to do that and my response was "because I need to keep track of who's fault it is when I can no longer keep up with demand".

So WWJ13 do? Do you think she is overfeeding him? Do you think I need to suck it up and pump more? (I currently pump in the AM after feeding, 2-3 times at work depending on my schedule, and once before bed). Do you think DH needs to keep his nose out of my freezer stash? I don't want to be overly stabby towards her, or even step in and tell her how to do her job, but if I have to start supplementing I want to know I covered all my bases and tried my best to make this work.

Getting ready to leave work now, so I may not read your responses until I get home.

ETA: Forgot to mention on days DH picks him up early he never goes through 15 oz, he is able to entertain him and keep him from fussing.

Aiylin · December 2013

I would suggest you speak to the provide. 30 oz+ is a lot. Noah takes in 12+16 oz when he goes with the nanny, which is very average. According to our pedi a baby his age needs 10 oz of breast milk in a 24 hour period just to survive, 15-30 in a 24 hour period to thrive and grow and anything over that well that's overdoing it. However, perhaps since growth/feeding is so individual to each child perhaps it would be best if you speak to your pedi and see what they say?

It sounds like he's getting too much.

As for the freezer stash, I got anxious when we were putting away as much as we used to or God forbid if we had to thaw milk. Then my SO reminded me that it's there to feed the baby I'm not trying to feed the freezer. Hmm....

weaslewam · December 2013

Audrey1787 said:

do you know if any of that milk is going down the drain?

Having a semi-low supply here, just the thought of anything going down the drain makes my heart sink!

OP, I think that you're right to think that your baby is being overfed at DC. I would talk to your provider because that just doesn't seem right! A good provider should see that they're overfeeding too.

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

@casey78 We are using a Dr. Browns level 1 nipple, it is pretty slow. I haven't replaced them yet, but they've only been in use a month.

@Audrey1787 she writes down the times and quantities he is fed and everything is accounted for. She even sends home any partially used bottles, so I believe she's not dumping any.

@Aiylin yes I think I will talk to my pedi. We have his 4 mo checkup on Monday.

DenverBride2005 · December 2013

Yes, over feeding, and yes DH should probably stay out of your "milk chores" (as I call them--anything related to pumping, refrigerating, freezing, thawing, making bottles, etc) unless he really knows what he is doing. We use Dr. browns size 1 also and DS takes three four oz bottles in 8 hrs, he eats about every three hours. Kellymom has a good tool/calculator re: how much pumped milk your LO should be taking per day. I believe for most BF babies it actually is usually between 25-30 oz for the entire day and doesn't ever grow more than that (the milk adjusts, not the quantity).

redhead610 · December 2013

I agree with pp....it sounds like they are way over feeding lo! They should be getting around an ounce for every hour. Some babies take more than others, but that is a close guideline to follow.

kmc217 · December 2013

30oz is a lot in that period of time. My DS is huge and a very hungry baby and he takes 8-10oz (2 4-5oz bottles) from 8am to 4pm. I leave 1 extra 4-5oz bag of milk there and once in 8 weeks he has taken it. He is usually hungry or just about hungry when I pick him up, but that is my goal so I don't have to pump again.

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

LadyBlue07 said:
When you go to the pediatrician, can you try to do a weighted feeding with their scale? I send 3 4oz bottles for 8-9 hours and daycare was pushing for more. I did a weighted feed last week when she was really hungry and she only took 3 oz so I know she doesn't need more. The IBCLCs at my hospital say that day cares always want you to send more milk.

Kellymom has a handout for dc providers about paced bottle feeding. I wrote up a card with instructions on how to feed Elizabeth and gave it to them.

I think your husband needs to leave your frozen milk alone. Show him the Kellymom calculator and remind him how expensive it will be if you have to switch to formula.

I like the idea of a weighted feeding, I'll have to ask. If not maybe my LC would do another visit with her scale. We have another test next week; daycare is closed and DH is home with LO all day. He has always been good with the paced feedings so we will get and idea of what he really eats.

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

etoille said:
30 oz is a lot - I would be concerned too.

Mike averages 18 oz a day (he's there from about 7am til 6pm) - sometimes he does do 24 ounces but 9 times out of 10 its 18oz.

Sorry my post was confusing, he's only taking 15-20oz a day. Maybe that isn't too much?

martyn17 · December 2013

Tess is at DC from.about 7:30 to 5:45 and she eats between 16 and 20 oz.
I would definitely print the kellymom.com handout and chat with them about them. I wouldn't leave more than 2 bags (~10oz) of freezer stash with the provider at a time. I also feel like less milk is wasted if I pack the bottles in 3 oz increments. (I normally pack 6 3 oz bottles).
Good luck!

EagleWife · December 2013

No experience to share, just wanted to say good luck tomorrow. Hopefully Sully has a good day!

bobcee · December 2013

How many hours is he there? 15-20 oz doesn't seem that extreme to me. Maybe a bit on the high side depending on on many times he nurses in addition.

DS is at daycare from 7 am until 3:30 pm and typically takes 16 oz (four 4 oz bottles). Sometimes he sleeps through the last bottle or doesn't want it so he ends up only eating 12 oz, but the majority of the time it's 16 oz. I nurse him before daycare and typically 2 times after daycare (sometimes 3).

I do think daycare tends to always want more though. With DD they kept trying to tell me she needed more. Once we hit 5 oz bottles, I refused to give more because on days she was home with DH being bottle fed she never even came close to finishing a 5 oz bottle at one feeding. Guess what? They stopped asking once I refused and never brought it up again.

cg0112358 · December 2013

The general rule of thumb seems to be 1-1.5 oz per hour away from you. Babies that are STTN should be on the higher end of that range. Until DD got sick she was STTN 10-12 hours, nursing once in the morning and the evening, and drinking 3-4 3.5 oz bottles at DC.

EagleWife · December 2013

@ChrissieMeas

How did Friday go? And the checkup yesterday? Hope you and Mr. Sully are doing well..

Just checking in on you!

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

@EagleWife thanks for thinking of me! $:\$ "> I love that gif!

Friday went well, DH picked Sully up from daycare early so that always helps my stash out. Yesterday we went to the doctors around 8 and Sully was a champ with his vaccinations. He's up to 14 lb 4 oz and 26"! I nursed him there at the office then left for work.

DH had Sully from 9am until about 6:30pm (had to work late) and he only took 10 oz of milk. When I got home he was in the high chair in the kitchen with DH cooking, and if he was hungry he would not have been so happy. If this continues I will be talking to the daycare lady on Monday. Not sure how I will approach that one yet...

How is Lilly?

EagleWife · December 2013

Hehe

I thought that you might!

Glad to hear that Sully is doing so well! Sounds like he's growing nicely.

Congrats on his four month-iversary! Isn't him taking in 10 oz about half of what he was getting at DC?

Lilly is doing great. She has two teeth threatening to break through her lower gum any day now.

I can't believe she's 5 months tomorrow. How is the time going so fast? :-O

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

@EagleWife, yeah that's nearly half. He almost always downs the 15 oz of fresh I send with him and usually gets a few ounces more from the freezer stash she has there.

@mainerocks I usually drop him off around 7-7:30 right after feeding him (we live 5 min down the road) and pick him up around 4:30-5. That's 9-10 hours, or 1.5 to 2 oz per hour.

I think after this week DH will realize I'm not nuts and that we shouldn't be taking my stash over to daycare for her to use as she pleases. I'll be curious to see how my friend's LO does when she starts at the same daycare in mid-January.

kt012885 · December 2013

DD is 5 months and she drinks about 40oz a day. At 3 months I was giving her 5oz bottles of bm each feeding.

I take 21 oz to daycare then I gave her a Walmart bag of frozen milk to keep in her deep freeze if she needs it. Maybe your LO is going through a growth spirt? Or maybe DC lady is just feeding LO everytime he cries. I don't blame you for questioning it. Right now I"m pumping 5 times a day and I'm about to go to 4 bc it's so draining- but I'm just getting enough for DD right now.

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

@kt012885 Good grief that is a ton of milk!!! I would've given up by now because there is no way I could keep up with that level of demand! Pumping is draining, and pumping more at work means more time away from LO.

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

@lizabethann06 I was hoping you'd chime in. The main reason I haven't said anything to her yet and just forked over the milk is because I dread the alternative: she lets my little guy cry instead of giving him a bottle.

We've already done the "sneaky check in" with her several times and every time my little guy is sleeping, content, or she is holding him. I doubt she would do that, but the thought just breaks my heart.

kt012885 · December 2013

@chrissieMeas It is draining- I only have to pump at work twice- but I pump 3x at home and I miss out on time with LO and that's why I'm considering taking out the 5:30 pump bc I missed her all day and just want to love on her and not sit there and pump. I can barely keep up and it does stress me out a bit. I know formula isn't horrible but I've done bm only so far and would love to keep it that way til 8 months. (that's when I've decided to quit- going to cancun when she's 9 months and honestly just want to enjoy myself and not worry about stupid pumping.

giraffeluvspi · December 2013

@kt12885 I forget, are you an EPer?

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