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Anyone in HR? Please help

wychetswychets member
in Working Moms
A little over a month ago I received an email from a Co worker. It was very offensive and racist imo. It started off with a man with the "black face" makeup on with music blasting in the background "n***a, n***a" over and over throughout the 3min video. It continued on with African American stereotypes, one of the scenes was about how African American people eat fried chicken for every meal, another was a black man robbing a woman for her purse. I was in shock thinking "this isn't happening to me" I got so upset I had to excuse myself to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I had never been so offended in my life!!! After a few mins I pulled myself together and went back to my desk. A few minutes later I got upset again. My supervisor had left for the day, so I reached out to another supervisor and asked her could I speak with her in private. We went to a conference room and I explained what happened and she was very understanding and disgusted as well. She asked me to forward her the email. I go back to my desk and forward the email. Then I realized it was sent to the only 3 African American woman in my office. Ugh! They said it would be "handled" whatever that means. But here we are over a month later and nothing. Am I overreacting? I am so uncomfortable coming to work and seeing this individual everyday, I don't know if I am angry, hurt, embarrassed, or all of them combined. What should I do here? Thanks for reading.
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Re: Anyone in HR? Please help

  • daisy662daisy662 member
    Wow!! I am in HR and even though I see crazy stuff every day, it still shocks me. You should absolutely be disgusted by this and I encourage you to reach out to your HR so they can ensure it was handled appropriately. Here is what you do need to understand though, it would be unlikely that they will share with you how they handled it or the outcome of the investigation. That info would be confidential. So, they very well may have handled it without you knowing which is appropriate. Oftentimes though, if HR isn't brought in the loop, it may be handled poorly by a well meaning supervisor who doesn't know what to do. So it would make sense to drop into HR and just say that you want to ensure they were looped in and the case is closed. Best of luck. My stomach turns for you.
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  • FemShepFemShep member
    daisy662 said:
    Wow!! I am in HR and even though I see crazy stuff every day, it still shocks me. You should absolutely be disgusted by this and I encourage you to reach out to your HR so they can ensure it was handled appropriately. Here is what you do need to understand though, it would be unlikely that they will share with you how they handled it or the outcome of the investigation. That info would be confidential. So, they very well may have handled it without you knowing which is appropriate. Oftentimes though, if HR isn't brought in the loop, it may be handled poorly by a well meaning supervisor who doesn't know what to do. So it would make sense to drop into HR and just say that you want to ensure they were looped in and the case is closed. Best of luck. My stomach turns for you.
    This is wonderful advice.  While the supervisor should go directly to HR, many times they don't know how to handle such an egregious offense and either try to take things into their own hands or ignore it.  I'd email HR with a forward of the email you sent to the supervisor and simply say, as PP suggested, you wanted to be sure they had seen the email and handled things appropriately.

    I'm so sorry such a terrible thing happened.
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  • wychetswychets member
    daisy662 said:

    Wow!! I am in HR and even though I see crazy stuff every day, it still shocks me. You should absolutely be disgusted by this and I encourage you to reach out to your HR so they can ensure it was handled appropriately. Here is what you do need to understand though, it would be unlikely that they will share with you how they handled it or the outcome of the investigation. That info would be confidential. So, they very well may have handled it without you knowing which is appropriate. Oftentimes though, if HR isn't brought in the loop, it may be handled poorly by a well meaning supervisor who doesn't know what to do. So it would make sense to drop into HR and just say that you want to ensure they were looped in and the case is closed. Best of luck. My stomach turns for you.

    Thank you so much. I automatically assumed HR was involved but you could be right:/ The last update I got was the individual would be speaking to our legal department. Should I request a meeting with my Supervisor and his Supervisor?

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  • djm31012djm31012 member
    i cant event believe this is a real story. who is THAT ignorant to send out such a stupid video, let alone to 3 people they know it would offend--not that it should have been sent to ANYONE its completely disgusting.  I am so sorry this happened to you and i would have lost it. When you see this person every day do they acknowledge you? Did they think it was harmless/think you are friends. I am just so appalled.

    i definitely agree with going straight to HR. The person should no longer be employed.
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  • ss+elss+el member
    djm31012 said:
    i cant event believe this is a real story. who is THAT ignorant to send out such a stupid video, let alone to 3 people they know it would offend--not that it should have been sent to ANYONE its completely disgusting.  I am so sorry this happened to you and i would have lost it. When you see this person every day do they acknowledge you? Did they think it was harmless/think you are friends. I am just so appalled.

    i definitely agree with going straight to HR. The person should no longer be employed.
    Nothing shocks me anymore :( My sister was being stalked by a coworker (at work and home) and HR did nothing about it. She found a better job pronto.
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  • FemShepFemShep member
    wychets said:
    Wow!! I am in HR and even though I see crazy stuff every day, it still shocks me. You should absolutely be disgusted by this and I encourage you to reach out to your HR so they can ensure it was handled appropriately. Here is what you do need to understand though, it would be unlikely that they will share with you how they handled it or the outcome of the investigation. That info would be confidential. So, they very well may have handled it without you knowing which is appropriate. Oftentimes though, if HR isn't brought in the loop, it may be handled poorly by a well meaning supervisor who doesn't know what to do. So it would make sense to drop into HR and just say that you want to ensure they were looped in and the case is closed. Best of luck. My stomach turns for you.
    Thank you so much. I automatically assumed HR was involved but you could be right:/ The last update I got was the individual would be speaking to our legal department. Should I request a meeting with my Supervisor and his Supervisor?
    Honestly, I would focus on your supervisor and HR for now.  You wouldn't believe how many times supervisors don't act appropriately on this type of thing (although your example is way worse than most), either because they don't know what they're legally required to do or because they think they "handled it".  Make sure HR is CCed on any communications about this from now on, and make sure you keep copies of everything.

    First, follow up with HR and CC your supervisor.  Then, if you find you can no longer work with this person (which is totally understandable), have a meeting with your supervisor and HR to discuss how this behavior impacted the business and is preventing you from doing your job.  Again, keep copies of everything, including the original email, and notes from your first meeting with the other supervisor.
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  • wychetswychets member
    djm31012 said:

    i cant event believe this is a real story. who is THAT ignorant to send out such a stupid video, let alone to 3 people they know it would offend--not that it should have been sent to ANYONE its completely disgusting.  I am so sorry this happened to you and i would have lost it. When you see this person every day do they acknowledge you? Did they think it was harmless/think you are friends. I am just so appalled.

    i definitely agree with going straight to HR. The person should no longer be employed.

    Thank you. When we see each other I try to just look away because I am clearly upset still. He doesn't speak to me which I prefer it that way for obvious reasons. We are not friends I didn't even know who he was by name until someone pointed him out. Last week he handed out cd's (I guess he's in a band) to everyone in our office except me. Not that I wanted one but he made a smart comment "there is one curse word on the cd I wouldn't want to offend anyone" wtf? Ugh!!

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  • daisy662daisy662 member
    I would start with HR and see what comes of it. Since your supervisor wasn't there that day, it would be a good idea to loop him/her in as well. I wouldn't ask to speak with his supervisor just because I don't think it will get you any further at this point. Keep us posted with what they say. I'll be watching this thread for updates. Make sure you print out that email. That is key.
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  • aglennaglenn member
    wychets said:
    i cant event believe this is a real story. who is THAT ignorant to send out such a stupid video, let alone to 3 people they know it would offend--not that it should have been sent to ANYONE its completely disgusting.  I am so sorry this happened to you and i would have lost it. When you see this person every day do they acknowledge you? Did they think it was harmless/think you are friends. I am just so appalled.

    i definitely agree with going straight to HR. The person should no longer be employed.
    Thank you. When we see each other I try to just look away because I am clearly upset still. He doesn't speak to me which I prefer it that way for obvious reasons. We are not friends I didn't even know who he was by name until someone pointed him out. Last week he handed out cd's (I guess he's in a band) to everyone in our office except me. Not that I wanted one but he made a smart comment "there is one curse word on the cd I wouldn't want to offend anyone" wtf? Ugh!!
    I would document this comment as well and bring it up to HR and your supervisor because that is harassment and they need to know.  It is entirely possible that they are wanting to gather more evidence before terminating him (not that they should need any given his first offense, but sometimes companies are scared to take action).  The more of a case file you can build the harder it will be to ignore.
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  • daisy662daisy662 member
    Wow. That just adds to it. Make sure you keep a journal documenting everything including times, dates, and who witnessed it. Include what times and dates you brought it to the attention of your leaders and HR.
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  • wychetswychets member
    daisy662 said:

    I would start with HR and see what comes of it. Since your supervisor wasn't there that day, it would be a good idea to loop him/her in as well. I wouldn't ask to speak with his supervisor just because I don't think it will get you any further at this point. Keep us posted with what they say. I'll be watching this thread for updates. Make sure you print out that email. That is key.

    I sent an email to him requesting to speak with him and HR. His reply "we can speak in private, take a few minutes so we can chat" ughhh wtf? "Chat" I am so upset.
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  • wychetswychets member
    I have everything documented. All emails saved. Based on the reply from his email should I just go straight to HR? I don't know why I feel like I've done something wrong here. This situation is just ridiculous I have never felt like this I am usually a very strong person but with the lack of communication here I just feel lost.
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  • wychetswychets member
    daisy662 said:

    I would start with HR and see what comes of it. Since your supervisor wasn't there that day, it would be a good idea to loop him/her in as well. I wouldn't ask to speak with his supervisor just because I don't think it will get you any further at this point. Keep us posted with what they say. I'll be watching this thread for updates. Make sure you print out that email. That is key.

    All emails? His original email is a video. I will print the email with the link.

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  • aglennaglenn member
    wychets said:
    I have everything documented. All emails saved. Based on the reply from his email should I just go straight to HR? I don't know why I feel like I've done something wrong here. This situation is just ridiculous I have never felt like this I am usually a very strong person but with the lack of communication here I just feel lost.
    It sounds to me like your supervisor is reluctant to involve HR and may have "handled it" by saying something to this guy and left it at that.  I am of course jumping to this conclusion based on what little you've posted here, and you know him better so I could be off base, but that's what it sounds like to me.  If you think that's what is going on then yes, you need to go direct to HR.  Your supervisor may not like it because it will make him look bad, but you need to do it anyway because this is outrageous and needs to be addressed immediately and not swept under the rug.
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  • wychetswychets member
    aglenn said:
    wychets said:
    I have everything documented. All emails saved. Based on the reply from his email should I just go straight to HR? I don't know why I feel like I've done something wrong here. This situation is just ridiculous I have never felt like this I am usually a very strong person but with the lack of communication here I just feel lost.
    It sounds to me like your supervisor is reluctant to involve HR and may have "handled it" by saying something to this guy and left it at that.  I am of course jumping to this conclusion based on what little you've posted here, and you know him better so I could be off base, but that's what it sounds like to me.  If you think that's what is going on then yes, you need to go direct to HR.  Your supervisor may not like it because it will make him look bad, but you need to do it anyway because this is outrageous and needs to be addressed immediately and not swept under the rug.

    Thank you. He did report it to HR because it was addressed by our legal department ( at least this is what I was told) he said he requested a meeting for me to speak with HR. He did advise that it was "handled" I guess I am completely confused how a person can still be working here after sending something like that at work through our work email.
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  • djm31012djm31012 member
    its worth saying to HR that you are now uncomfortable in the current work environment and so to you the situation has not been handed. sounds to me like he was spoken to and got a slap on the wrist and thats all that will be done. I am not a lawyer but I would think the company would be nervous that you would bring some type of discrimination/harassment suit against them and they would take better action.
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  • wychetswychets member
    djm31012 said:
    its worth saying to HR that you are now uncomfortable in the current work environment and so to you the situation has not been handed. sounds to me like he was spoken to and got a slap on the wrist and thats all that will be done. I am not a lawyer but I would think the company would be nervous that you would bring some type of discrimination/harassment suit against them and they would take better action.

    I am going to bring it up in our meeting. I can not understand how a person can be fired for calling off more than 6 times a year and this person can send racist videos on a work email and still be here. Just doesn't make sense to me.
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  • wychetswychets member
    PrivacyWanted said:
    wychets said:
    djm31012 said:
    its worth saying to HR that you are now uncomfortable in the current work environment and so to you the situation has not been handed. sounds to me like he was spoken to and got a slap on the wrist and thats all that will be done. I am not a lawyer but I would think the company would be nervous that you would bring some type of discrimination/harassment suit against them and they would take better action.

    I am going to bring it up in our meeting. I can not understand how a person can be fired for calling off more than 6 times a year and this person can send racist videos on a work email and still be here. Just doesn't make sense to me.
    While I'm not advocating this position, maybe they see the email as an "isolated" incident. Depending on your company's policies maybe they counseled him, there's a multi-tiered process or something. IE Warning, 2nd warning, firing.  But the fact of the matter is 1) it's made you feel uncomfortable at work, that part of the problem hasn't been "handled" and 2) it's not an isolated incident, he also made the comment after the CD has handed out.  So HR needs to be made aware that it didn't just stop
    Great advice! Thank you so much!
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  • VORVOR member
    So, you don't really even know this guy?  I'm just trying to put context to this- did he preface his email at all?  Did he follow up at all?

    This isn't meant to defend him or try to find an "ok" reason why he did it.  I'm just curious as to if there is ANY insight into why he sent this to you.  Did he think he was being funny?

    Sorry you have to deal w/ this.  And a HUGE WTF to his comment about not wanting to "offend" you.  He very clearly doesn't "get it".

    Oh, and I'll say too that you don't need anyone's permission to go to HR.  If you want to go to them, then go.  You don't need to wait on your supervisors.
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