Testing One Two- FINAL UPDATE 6DEC at bottom

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

So had stupid amount of opks and we decided to use them up this week and of course Friday is THE test day, so I know it's early (five test days too early), but got negative this morning. I'm technically only 9dpo so why am I still freaking out??? I know we've all been here, but we have high hopes for this FET- a lot invested. Starting over... I'm trying not to go there in my head... Stupid stupid stupid me!!!

pettycrocker · December 2013

I thought you did a 5 day transfer on the 27th? Hopefully it's just too early, good luck.

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

I did do 5 day, which makes today day 9 (as if ovulation was the 22nd). It gets so confusing. I just need a chill pill, that's all.

pettycrocker · December 2013

Momarazzi007 said:

I did do 5 day, which makes today day 9 (as if ovulation was the 22nd). It gets so confusing. I just need a chill pill, that's all.

If you did a 5DT on the 27th, today is actually 10DPO. Today is the 2nd. Did you think today was the 1st? :P

What kind of test did you try? It is still early, but if you use a sensitive test like First Response, you might be able to get a + at 10DPO

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Lol, crap, I did think it was the 1st!!! Lol, brain seriously broken!!! I used Internet cheapie, not early detection. Blowing through my stash of them from last year of trying and failing and never using bc AF always showed. Thought she showed today, but turns out just heavy cm. I was about in a panic! Easy this week for me apparently!!!

CheesyPeas · December 2013

Momarazzi007 said:

Lol, crap, I did think it was the 1st!!! Lol, brain seriously broken!!! I used Internet cheapie, not early detection. Blowing through my stash of them from last year of trying and failing and never using bc AF always showed. Thought she showed today, but turns out just heavy cm. I was about in a panic! Easy this week for me apparently!!!

Pregnancy brain, perhaps.

KC1212 · December 2013

CheesyPeas said:

Momarazzi007 said:

Lol, crap, I did think it was the 1st!!! Lol, brain seriously broken!!! I used Internet cheapie, not early detection. Blowing through my stash of them from last year of trying and failing and never using bc AF always showed. Thought she showed today, but turns out just heavy cm. I was about in a panic! Easy this week for me apparently!!!

Pregnancy brain, perhaps.

^^^ I agree! Can we get an update? Keep peeing on things! Where's the smiley for that?

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

:-O
:!!
I nominate one of these two for poas!!!
I was just telling my teacher (I'm assistant PreK teacher) that I hope I get a positive bc at minimum I would have an excuse for my lack of smarts this week. I have been so forgetful!!! Did not poas this morning, my alarm clock, I mean dd, who normally wakes up between 5:30-6:30 decided we needed to sleep in til 7:30, which left me with ten minutes to get us both ready!!! I at least remembered all my meds!!! Symptoms, which some can be chalked up to progesterone- but really got worse in last day or so: sore, painful boobs (waking me up at night- that and),peeing a lot, lower backache, not cramping but like a full tight feeling in uterus, fogginess, bloaty feeling, tired, super vivid dreams (I was Donald Duck collecting stamps to mail a potato to my real life brother in one, another was at a school hunting these cartoon birds- and I had to collect them all in order to take my math test because they changed in between birds and numbers. Well, finally started my test and had to keep waiting for the little jerks to change back into numbers when the little jerks started jumping from problem to problem invalidating all the work I was doing. I threw my pencil to the ceiling and yelled "Oh Come On!!!" I was the only one with birds cutting up on my test).
Anyway!
So if all goes to normal plan I will test again tomorrow, and freak out if no lines... Then I might be too scared to test until Friday!!!

freakyfast · December 2013

:-O - I use this one for bow chicka bow wow...

And I use this one :!! when I am waiting for someone to update. So this one can work.

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Lol, those make sense, I just thought the first one because we never believe them (hahaha) and the second one bc this few minutes take forever lol!!

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Did first response this morning, negative.

KC1212 · December 2013

Momarazzi007 said:
Did first response this morning, negative.

I'm so sorry! Any chance it's still early

?

Jen071407 · December 2013

KC1212 said:

Momarazzi007 said:
Did first response this morning, negative.
I'm so sorry! Any chance it's still early ?

I second all of this! ((Hugs)) fx for a late implanted! How many dpo are you now?

pettycrocker · December 2013

Jen071407 said:

Did first response this morning, negative.
I'm so sorry! Any chance it's still early ?
I second all of this! ((Hugs)) fx for a late implanted! How many dpo are you now?

12.

When is your beta @momarazzi007?

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Beta is Friday, so still a little hope, but I'm kind of trying to make peace with it so I'm not a complete mess Friday and through weekend. I just keep thinking the normal mfi things and starting over and how out of 7 perfectly good embryos on one survived ( one ectopic an dd started as twins). It just breaks my heart thinking all the thoughts and yeah there is still a chance, the tests are only 60-80 accurate even early detection at this point, but I feel that while symptoms were strong a couple days ago, nothing but sore boobs and achy uterus remain now

I held that stupid test for like fifteen minutes thinking maybe just a faint line- not even an evap line. Basically it f-u'd at me. I just want what we all want- to get knocked up in the back of the car unexpectedly like the idiots who can't handle the situation! And I know I sound like a crazy person, but I feel rather calm, like weirdly calm. No crying, no outbursts, upset thoughts- but nothing striking me to be really outspoken. It's weird, I'm just thinking about how they are going to say stop the meds and I can't remember if it was a bad withdrawal and I know I am going to get the AF from Hello. We'll see. I'm still going to look into surrogacy (me being a surrogate to help finance next I f and help a couple who is worse off and is at primary infertility, maybe that is the road I'm supposed to take and why I am at more peace with this than I should be... Everything for a reason, I truly believe in God's time- so hard but I do), but my husband is to point where he is considering financing our next cycle and starting sooner. He says he doesn't want to wait. I don't know. I should feel lost, but I feel more like I'm watching a movie and just waiting to see what happens next.
Ok, good vent, good talk girls. We'll see what a few hours brings right? Maybe all this for naught, but again, I think above all else I just need to be mentally ready for the worst.

Jen071407 · December 2013

Big ((hugs)) girl! I still think there is hope, so no throwing in the towel yet! And vent away. Gotta let that shiz out somewhere and goodness knows we all can understand how you're feeling. Still got my fx for you!

LuckyJuJu · December 2013

Hugs! I am sorry but I will cling to some hope for you!

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Thanks ladies, I really hope I am super embarrassed in a couple days! Bc right now I feel like a bug baby!!!

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Triple negative day before first beta, two Internet cheapies and one first response early detection. And now on to face the day.

(

CheesyPeas · December 2013

im so sorry, hon. I had so hoped for a different outcome for you. ((Hugs))

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

Thanks, I was in tears, my husband was too. But I'm supposed to be out with friends at lunch tomorrow (who we have not told about our infertility journey, been very private) so that is about the time we'd get the news, so better I am coping now than they are confused when I turn into crazy cry baby at table right? I'm not heartless, but I very rarely cry- so when hubs found me crying in bathroom this morning it kind of threw us both off. Been a bad year, this is just the big send off. Maybe 2014 will have something good in store for us. I'll still lurk around, comment, and support, but my next thread won't be until probably we figure out where we will go from here. Thank-you for all the support on this cycle- like I said, been very quiet about it all so has been nice being able to talk to awesome women going through the same things and having some support. You guys are great!

kndeckar · December 2013

I'm so sorry

BFNs are the worst. ((Hugs))

Jen071407 · December 2013

I'm so sorry. I was really hoping that elusive line would pop up for you. Huge ((hugs)) and take care of yourself. Hug your LO a little bit tighter today. That always helps pull me through bfn hell.

lcloffredo · December 2013

I'm so sorry

Momarazzi007 · December 2013

So got call. Negative beta. Stopping all meds, expecting one hell if an AF and some serious crankiness. Now to talk with hubs and decide do we move forward to become a surrogate or try to finance another child? We have our cycle review Tuesday- "everything was perfect, this just wasn't your cycle" bs and who knows what will happen next. Haven't cried, kind of was mentally prepared I guess enough. The worst part is the not knowing what will happen next part, being stuck in bfn limbo.

freakyfast · December 2013

(((HUGS)))

Jen071407 · December 2013

I'm so sorry

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