Timing of Baby #2

ChevelleRivers · November 2013

If you're planning on a second child, when will you start TTC? At this point I THINK we will wait until DD is two or so, but I'm always interested in what other people are planning and how they arrived at their decision. Thanks!

ct103 · November 2013

It's a very personal decision and SO many factors are at play. My DH and I are planning to wait at least 3-5 years before even considering it, and even then we may decide to be one and done. Are reasons are mostly job-related and financial, in that we really want to make sure we can afford a nice home and good education for our children, and right now we can only provide that for one.

ct103 · November 2013

*Our reasons

VeilSdeGTO · November 2013

DH and I decided to start shortly after DD turned 1. We both said we weren't getting any younger and did want them closer in age. DD#1 and DD#2 are 25 months apart.

About a month ago, I did tell DH that if we had waited until DD was 2, I probably wouldn't have wanted to try again.

We were in a good routine with DD, I was just starting to remember what a good nights rest was, and things finally felt like it was falling in place.

Now that DD#2 is here, I'm glad we didn't wait. Yes, things are super crazy again and there are many, many moments when I'm thinking "oh, dear God, what were we thinking?!" However, totally worth it!

ravenclaw1 · November 2013

We will likely start TTC around A's first birthday (September). I want them close together. I've never had a problem getting pregnant, just staying that way, so I hope we have good luck for baby #2

Teresa1896 · December 2013

We were aiming for around 3 yrs apart, and I got pregnant the first month trying with this little guy. The kids will be almost 3 yrs apart (3 months shy). DD is old enough to follow directions and do things by herself, and she'll be able to "help" with the baby too.

Junebug060609 · December 2013

We were NTNP from the time DS was about four months old. Age was a factor in our decision since I am AMA. AF didnt return until five months after that (I PPH you bf'ing!). I got pg two cycles after that...but miscarried in the 11th week. That was Nov 2012. Started TTCAL again first chance we could but didnt get pg until August 2013. I am now 17.5 weeks. If I just did the math right, the kids should be about 31 months apart if all continues to go well with the pg.

Just wanted to share my story as I am a pretty good example of trying for a second not going as you had planned. It has been a long hard year between the loss/TTCAL and some major concerns with Ds development. In that time we have gone from really wanting three kids to realizing two is a better fit for us (age, finances, developmental concerns).

I will never say the second loss was for the best...but I know that had it continued to term I would have been certifiable when we were told about the autism concerns with DS (just two weeks after the EDD). Though it still bothers me we will never have the 2u2 we thought we would, I am glad for the bigger age gap. D at 21 months (the other edd) and him now at 26 months is a night and day difference. Just the receptive language and ability to follow directions alone will be a huge deal with à sibling in the picture.

Sorry for the novel...got longer than i planned.

SharonB222 · December 2013

I would have preferred 3 yrs separation but b/c of my age and TTC hardship, we were NTNP/TTC early and are lucky to have a separation: 2 yrs 3 mos

adoxyinherear · December 2013

Well, I expected I'd be ready to try for another now, but I'm just not. I'd like our littles to be about 2 - 2.5 years apart (DD is 15.5 months), so I'm hoping I'll feel more "ready" in January.

Can I also just say, you gals with ~2 year olds are freaking me the hell out. I think you don't want me to have anymore children!

Junebug060609 · December 2013

RusalkaSings said:
Can I also just say, you gals with ~2 year olds are freaking me the hell out. I think you don't want me to have anymore children!

Mine has started behaving better since hitting two. There is hope! Lol.

Seriously though, two year olds are very spirited, opinionated and adventurous...but their zest for life is catchy. Plus it is amazing watching them learn more each day and seeing their personalities come out more. Loving two over here...even with the tantrums, the ER trip (he split his eyebrow open last week) and him pushing the limits of what he can get away with.

luvboston · December 2013

We were ready for #2 the minute #1 came out. However OB said we can't get KU until LO is 9 months. It took 3 yrs to get LO so we cannot take the risk of that happening again so we are getting right back to it with treatments the minute LO is 9 months unless my body can't handle it. And a nice perk is that DH will be making more money so it will work out treatments are super expensive but we would have taken money out of savings to pay for it because its very important to us. Our OB even said that because of our major Struggles she wouldn't wait.

Teresa1896 · December 2013

RusalkaSings said:

Can I also just say, you gals with ~2 year olds are freaking me the hell out. I think you don't want me to have anymore children!

You've gotta take the good with the bad with 2 yr olds. They are independent, verbal, smart, funny, adventurous.... But the flip side is they can be moody, throw tantrums, and be incredibly demanding. My DD is really fun and pleasant about 95% of the time, so there's that too.

and at least they can tell you what they want at this stage!

KJsbabe · December 2013

I was ready to try again when DD turned 6m. It took much longer to get and stay pg with her than I ever anticipated, so I can only assume it'll take as long to get LO #2. I really wanted to get trying ASAP. I would have loved 2u2, but we've missed that ship, so now we're shooting for 2u3. Since we're still BFing, though, I still have not gotten a pp AF at 17m out. My fertility seems to be slowly returning, though, and it looks like I'm trying at least to O. So, a year after I was "ready" to TTC again, I'm finally able to.

MickeyM04 · December 2013

DH did not want kids that were any closer than two years apart, and with both prior pregnancies I got pregnant our first cycle trying so we started TTC in August with the thought that if I got pregnant right away, they would be exactly two years apart. Well sure enough that's what happened. DS was due 5/12/12 and DD is due 5/11/14. We couldn't have done that any more perfectly if we tried!

ksyknelvr73 · December 2013

We waited to start TTC until DS turned two (he turned two in February and we started TTC in March). For us, some of it was financial, however most of it was b/c I had started a new job last November and needed to be here for at least a year before having another baby so I would have maternity benefits. DH and I had mostly decided we wanted at least a 2 year gap and it looks like, God-willing, it will be a little over a 3 year gap - not by choice, as I've had two losses this year, but I think it will be just fine.

salsa_wifey · December 2013

I wanted to wait a year after DS #1 for my body to heal after c-section. I think we started TTC when he was 15 months. Took us about 9 cycles to conceive so it didn't happen as close as I would have liked it. I just wanted them to be close in age and DH was on board.

minicheezburg · December 2013

luvboston said:

We were ready for #2 the minute #1 came out. However OB said we can't get KU until LO is 9 months. It took 3 yrs to get LO so we cannot take the risk of that happening again so we are getting right back to it with treatments the minute LO is 9 months unless my body can't handle it. And a nice perk is that DH will be making more money so it will work out treatments are super expensive but we would have taken money out of savings to pay for it because its very important to us. Our OB even said that because of our major Struggles she wouldn't wait.

A lot of what @luvboston said.

We were TTC 3 years, TTCAL 2 years almost to the day before the BFP for D. She was a month old when I felt I was ready for #2. I am terrified of what TTC will bring this time around. We had talked prior to our 2nd BFP and agreed that we did not want a big gap. Many factors, DH's age, DD's age and so on. Anyway I went on the implant and plan to have it removed on the 11th.

Therefore we will be TTC again next week, more like NTNP.

Oatoa · December 2013

We were hoping to have our kids close to three years apart. It took us 6 months to get pg both times so that's what I figured for this time. We were almost to the point where we were going to start TTC when I got pg again. I had gone off of BC to allow my body to readjust and it just happened. They will be 27 months apart.

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