Heart Broken and Guilty (ticker warning)

TwinkleTor · December 2013

So after 3 ultrasounds and multiple blood tests for HCG counts, my doctor has come to the conclusion that I have an unhealthy pregnancy and he is suggesting a D&C, they are only seeing an empty uterus, there is no baby to be seen at what should be 9 weeks. After only losing my son 3 months ago, and quickly getting pregnant again, I know I am not fully mentally healed from my sons lose. I am confused at what decision to make, do I continue to wait to see if a baby develops or do I follow through with a D&C. My husband and I both feel like maybe there is an empty sack because we didn't allow my body to fully heal after the lose of our son and maybe the tests are coming back positive because I have left overs from his delivery. We feel like maybe if we go through with the D&C that it will help our chances later on when we try to have another baby, because my uterus will be fully cleaned out and healthy. But I feel guilty because of the chance of losing a possible baby, but is there a baby if after 9 weeks and there is still just an empty sack. I don't want to continue to feel the morning sickness and tender breast. I want my body back, I want to feel normal again, I want to be able to start my weight loss regimen to be at a weight I am comfortable with for my official wedding in July.

Sorry I know there are so many thoughts, and back and forth. It came out how it is being processed in my mind, goes to show how crazy my thoughts are. Just venting, thanks for stoping by, I'll be sure to take down the pregnancy ticker when I get to a desktop, I'm on a phone at the moment.

diamante1181 · December 2013

I'm so sorry you have to go through any of this. I wish I had more to say, a comforting word, etc. It is just difficult all the way around, no matter what you choose. However, it does sound like it is a blighted ovum, and I'm not sure how much longer you can wait to see if something develops. T & p are with you.

BrittianyM · December 2013

Don't have any advice but wanted to say I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope all works out for you. Sending thoughts and prayers.

angelsnight · December 2013

Ticker warning

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately it does sound like a blighted ovum to me, but I also think you need to be emotionally ready to deal with it. Has your doctor said how long you can wait until you'd need to have the D & C? I know many people that have gone through this just aren't ready to take that step yet so they wait a week or two, and if there is no progress then they go ahead with it. Sending many T&Ps your way as you make this difficult decision.

stefuge · December 2013

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't have any experience, but if the doctor says you can wait for the D&C, that might be a good idea, just to give yourself time. ((Hugs))

jess123456 · December 2013

I am so sorry. Please know that this is absolutely not your fault.

I also have experience with miscarriages and have experience with both a d and c and waiting for it to pass naturally. I experienced two miscarriages after losing our daughter as well as two before. Please feel free to private message me if I can be of any help with answering questions about the procedure etc. The d and c can give you some answers as they typically do pathology testing and you can opt for chromosomal testing too if you wish. It does sound like a blighted ovum to me as well. I haven't had a blighted ovum before but I imagine you can still get the testing done if you wish.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

mingaling2 · December 2013

I'm so sorry. I had a blighted ovum, too, at 8 weeks when I was married to my first husband. They will probably want you to schedule the procedure soon to stop your body from having other pregnancy symptoms and avoid infection and complications. I had a D&C, but thankfully was given general anesthesia so I wasn't awake during the procedure.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but after the procedure I was scared I wasn't going to have any children. Thankfully I was wrong - I have a beautiful, healthy DD after getting remarried. It just may not have anything to do with your body since the chances of it happening are so much higher than one would think.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

CRUN2012 · December 2013

I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.. .especially when your previous loss is so fresh. My thoughts and prayers are with you ♡♥

kz's_girlygirl · December 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this, especially so soon after losing Domenik. There is nothing you or anyone did/didn't do to cause this situation. I'm not a Dr., but elevated HcG numbers and a visible sac are not related to your previous loss. If there were remnants of placenta etc. from before, you would have been sick and bleeding a great deal.

If it would make you feel better, ask if you can wait a week and then be re-evaluated. I will be thinking of you and your husband, and hoping you can have some resolution soon.

bunnybun4 · December 2013

I unfortunately just went through something very similar and just miscarried naturally last week. All we saw was a gestational sac for several weeks with some growth but nothing inside...for a few weeks my hcg even kept doubling..it was so frustrating. I waited about 3 weeks after 2 ultrasounds that showed an empty sac...we had scheduled a d&c for that monday (3 weeks after US...I should have been 8-9 weeks along) however I was bleeding that day so my dr. was going to let me wait it out another week but I ended up miscarrying that night at home. I agree that unfortunately it sounds like a blighted ovum for you too but I would ask your dr. if you could wait another week to check for growth if you are still uneasy about it. My dr. was extremely cautious and wanted to keep watching it even though we both agreed it was over. I also have had a late loss D&E last November and a D&C in May so I was really nervous about putting my body through a third surgery so that was another reason why we waited it out so long.

My second loss was extremely difficult...it was almost like the wounds from losing my daughter were just ripped back open. I was in a really low place for a really long time so I know what you are going through. As bad as recurrent loss sucks, things do get better...I promise. ((HUGS))

irons633 · December 2013

So sorry sweetie that you are going thru this. Big Hugs!!!

schulme2 · December 2013

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this and now faced with a difficult decision. I don't have any experience or advice but just wanted to send thoughts and prayers!

TwinkleTor · December 2013

Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers!

My husband and myself made a decision after two very long conversations. We are going to follow through with the D&C. I've been having really bad early pregnancy symptoms and my husband feels that all the hormones and stress are hurting me. We also feel that the sooner we get it over with the sooner we can start healing and continue to heal from now our second lose is 3 months. We also realized we rushed and have decided that we will wait 6 months before we start trying again. We are legally married but we are having a big wedding ceremony and reception in July, so we want to plan a wonderful wedding and during the honeymoon start making our rainbow baby!

It was a tough decision to make but we are content and are ready to start healing. I have other things to help distract my thoughts, I have a ton of weight to lose before my wedding! Hoping to feel much better after the surgery! Thank you all again!

JessicaG220 · December 2013

I'm so sorry you're experiencing another loss. I went through the same situation last week. I had my first OB appt at 9 weeks and the ultrasound showed only am empty sac. It was so disappointing and heartbreaking. I had a d&c last Friday. I just couldn't bear the thought of continuing being pregnant while my uterus was empty. The procedure wasn't bad at all and the recovery hasn't been too awful. I am doing much better physically than mentally. I miss Ava more than ever. Lots of hugs to you, hun. You are not alone!!

VyD81 · December 2013

I'm sorry you are going through another loss. Hugs

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