Anyone else have anxiety about BF?

AmberLiz99 · December 2013

I know to some people this will sound really stupid, but it's legitamentley how I feel. I didn't breast feed ds due to work, health and other circumstances. He went straight to formula, and that was the best decision for us at the time. Don't regret a thing.

This time dh is really pushing that I BF, which I am thinking about, but for some reason I'm really anxious/worried about it. It's Like I want to want to do it, but I really wish I didn't have to. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just mental? How (besides reading a bunch like I am) can I get over this? If I do try (which I think I have to) I don't want to set myself up for failure from day one.

nicole mackenzie · December 2013

Do what's right for you and your family. Bf doesn't work for everyone.

hordol · December 2013

I can relate. I'm not worried about the breast feeding so much as I am about keeping up with the pumping at work. I'm worried I will give up, especially after reading this satirical piece about exclusive pumping yesterday (https://exclusivepumpers.com/2013/05/18/exclusively-pumping-39-steps-to-help-prepare-you-for-exclusively-pumping/).

I already cringe thinking about the future state of my nipples. I know it will be rewarding though...hope I can keep up with it.

J&NL · December 2013

The more you educate yourself about it, the less scary it will be and it will help you in the long run. Most people fear the unknown so if you answer all of your questions before hand and are fully prepared, then you will feel more confident.

Eta: with that being said, I still get nervous even though I BF dd. It's normal!

Teresa1896 · December 2013

BF is a commitment, there's no doubt about that, especially if you're pumping at work. But I found it really helpful to set small goals along the way. For example, first, to BF if possible. Once that was established, I shot for 6 months. Once I made it 6 mos, it was a downhill slide to 12 mos, and anything after that was just gravy. I stopped pumping right at 12 mos but continued to BF for 4 more months. My DD never had a drop of formula, which I was so proud of (but nobody else cares, in the grand scheme of life!).

Just take it a day at a time, ask for help or support if you need it, and remember that any breast milk you can give your baby is beneficial, even if it's only a little, or for a little while.

momofmanyinthemitten · December 2013

I was dead set on BFing #1, but was more worried about the pain related to it than with labor and delivery. I had horrible stabbing pains for the first 6 wks, but then it was great. I am so glad I stuck with it. I BFed DD until 16-ish mos, when I got pregnant with DS. With DS, I had a 2 day period of nipple adjustment, which was no where near as bad as the first time around. Before I had kids, I thought I wouldn't want to nurse for that long, but ended up loving it. I know this isn't the case for everyone. Definitely seek help from the lactation consultants at your hospital. They can be a great help.

fourthnlast · December 2013

It is a commitment, but it's well worth it! I didn't breastfeed my first two, and I was really nervous about the third, but I went into it without much expectation. If it worked, fabulous, otherwise I knew formula would still be on the shelves

He latched on from day 1 like a champ and we went about 14 months before stopping. I'm hoping #4 is just as easy, but if not, we have a back up plan.

KatieKim0815 · December 2013

First off no one should push you into BFing. Only you can know what is right for you.

I will be open and say that yes I have some issues BFing and wish I didn't. I was sexually assaulted when I was young and for me it is hard to share my body in that way with another person especially when it is on demand and I can't always say "no". I did a lot of work to overcome this - read books, saw a therapist and for me exclusively pumping was the best compromise. He got the nutrition and I felt in control and empowered.

Also, my supply SUCKS! Never has been good and so pumping exclusively for me allows me to know what he's getting to a T.

May delete as I am not comfy sharing some of what I did but I just wanted to include becuase it is normal.

AmberLiz99 · December 2013

@KatieKim0815 thank you for shring. That's awesome that you could pump ms keep it up.

fourthnlast · December 2013

I forgot to mention that at your hospital they should have a lactation consultant available who can help you.

maelic · December 2013

Never let anyone guilt you into BFing. As much as your DH can want you to, it's your body and you have 100% control over what you do with it.

There are benefits to BFing, especially at first, but it's not a do or die situation for your baby. Happy, relaxed moms mean more in the long run than formula vs. breast milk.

If you want to give it a go from the start, great, but know that it's not a prison sentence. You can quit whenever you like, you really can (which, in a weird way, may help you get through it for longer).

smashton14th · December 2013

I breastfed my DD. At first it was hard, i had got an infection and didn't realize it. But once that cleared up it was a breeze from then on.
I am a little nervous this time around because i will have a two year old to take are of and breastfeed. I try not to worry to much because i want to be positive for when i start. You aren't alone and i am sure when the time comes we will have a lot of support from A14!

maelic · December 2013

Uh, I'm calling it not a prison sentence.

Serenla · December 2013

@Maelic! How dare you use humor in this situation, only encouraging happy analogies here.Geeeeeze.
/sarcasm

Op I am a bit nervous myself but as PPs have said I am setting monthly goals in 3 month increments. Maternity leave for 3 months, pumping/BFing for another 3 and anything after that is gravy!

MamaFantastic · December 2013

maelic said:
Uh, I'm calling it not a prison sentence.

Word. Sometimes the reading comprehension isn't so strong in Lala land

@KatieKim0815 I will not quote you to respect your right to delete/edit if you wish, but I appreciate your brave sharing and want to give you a big hug. The sacrifice you made for your baby is even more precious and significant when factoring in your story and history. You're a really, really good, strong mom

beautifulstr13 · December 2013

I know how you feel. I tried to bf DS but my body just did not produce. I ended up spending a lot of nights up with us both crying because he was hungry and I couldn't give him enough. We tried for a month then finally gave up because I dried up.

My husband was really pushy about it at first because if the health benefits for both of us. But he eventually saw how stressed I was and let me make the decision to stop. He is a lot more understanding this time around. He still wants me to try it as long as I can. I plan to give it my all but I am definitely worried.

This time I plan to get a better schedule going and try every way possible to up my supply before I give in.

snowclouds · December 2013

BF is a big commitment. You need to read up more on it and decide if it's right for you and your family. While I encourage BF, it can definitely make you resentful if you don't feel that it's your decision. My friend had a pushy husband too and eventually I told her to do what was best for her mental health because she was loosing it. Hubby eventually came around.

ksulli · December 2013

I was a little anxious last time. It's not exactly the kind of thing you can practice, and it's a pretty private part of your body that now is supposed to produce food. Very weird to think about. It went great for me though, and I remember at some point looking at my growing, healthy baby girl and thinking, I did that. ALL of that. I grew her, and she's still growing because I am feeding her. Now that is wild.

it all seemed surprisingly natural and normal once we got the hang if things. I think it's pretty normal to be a little anxious.

myschlove · December 2013

Breast-feeding does not have to be a all or nothing type of thing! Especially in the beginning, if you can give your baby your colostrum and that first breastmilk that will benefit your baby so much.

It's also possible to exclusively pump and feed your baby your pumped milk or supplement with formula and do both breast milk and formula... There's no one way to do this

and you can do what works best for you!

I know you probably are aware of all the good things about breastmilk, one of the positives that I didn't know about until I started nursing was that your bodies antibodies get transferred to your baby to help them fight off sickness! Not to mention that nursing and pumping equally help you lose weight so much faster!

When I would get a little bit discouraged I sometimes would try to think of all the good things that I was giving my baby, and just take one day at a time! And just remember, if it's difficult at the beginning it really DOES get easier!!

luvU2theMoon · December 2013

I can some what relate... i guess its a little opposite but i do have anxiety about it! i am so excited to breastfeed but i am so worried i will dry up or i wont be able to do it. I am also worried about working pumping into everything. i really want to make sure My boyfriend can feed her as well and i will be going back to work so i will need to pump as well as breast feed so i am anxious about all of it. i guess we just have to educate ourselves as much as possible. but like some others have said do what works best for your and your family.

seannasmommy16 · December 2013

@amberliz99
DH is is really pushing me to breast feed as well, and I didn't Brest feed with my dd either. I understand completely how you feel. A part of me really wants to do it and then another part doesn't. But as I have told my DH and myself we will take things day by day and if it doesn't work for me then he can grow a pair of boobs and then he can feed him. Just stay calm and remind your self that it's your boobs and if it doesn't work then you tired and that's all you can do. Don't over stress about it Hun

JennieCBBC · December 2013

Any STM's have any good references to read on breasfeeding that might be helpful to some of us FTM's?

ckred27 · December 2013

I really wanted to BF with all my babies and never made it more than 6 weeks, and even that was with supplementing formula. Mostly cuz the babies were in nicu for a while and got used to bottle feeding ( I was pumping as well, but couldnt keep up) and then because once I went back to work at 6 weeks I could leave my desk ever 3 hours to do it. To crazy. I FELT SO DAMN GUILTY! but both my boys are great and A-OK so Im not going to stress over it this time around, esp w. twins. Ill do what I can, get at least some BF in them, and see what happens. So anyway, try not to stress! If you can, you can, if you cant, the baby will be ok!

MamaFantastic · December 2013

Kellymom.com is a fantastic resource!

A certified lactation counselor is money WELL spent... especially right at the beginning in those first overwhelming few days when everything is new and hectic and confusing.

One of these days when I'm not on my phone, il'l post a story about a truly clueless move I made as a FTbreastfeedingM. It will make you all feel good about yourselves at my expense

Holljade · December 2013

hordol said:

I can relate. I'm not worried about the breast feeding so much as I am about keeping up with the pumping at work. I'm worried I will give up, especially after reading this satirical piece about exclusive pumping yesterday (https://exclusivepumpers.com/2013/05/18/exclusively-pumping-39-steps-to-help-prepare-you-for-exclusively-pumping/). I already cringe thinking about the future state of my nipples. I know it will be rewarding though...hope I can keep up with it.

I literally LOL'd at "wash your hair with maple syrup!" hahahaha at least smelling like pancakes isn't completely offensive to the outside world.

smashton14th · December 2013

I second kellymom.com. There were so many questions i had. I ended up on that site a lot in the beginning of breastfeeding.

ksulli · December 2013

Oh- one more thing. Growth spurts will make you feel like a crazy woman with a child constantly attached to your body. Embrace it. It is baby enforced rest for mama because you are almost literally stuck on the couch. Those were the days I wanted to quit. But I'd been told not to quit on a bad day (thanks for the reminder @poru), so I always said I'd think about it tomorrow. That mind set got me to 13 mos when dd just didn't want it anymore.

KatieKim0815 · December 2013

MamaFantastic said:

Uh, I'm calling it not a prison sentence.
Word. Sometimes the reading comprehension isn't so strong in Lala land @KatieKim0815 I will not quote you to respect your right to delete/edit if you wish, but I appreciate your brave sharing and want to give you a big hug. The sacrifice you made for your baby is even more precious and significant when factoring in your story and history. You're a really, really good, strong mom

Thank you SO much. Hugs!

J&NL · December 2013

JennieCBBC said:

Any STM's have any good references to read on breasfeeding that might be helpful to some of us FTM's?

Kellymom.com is a good reference for BF.

Cecilbear · December 2013

Yes! But I am trying really hard to compartmentalize: Right now, I can worry about everything from Thursday's anatomy scan to giving birth to breast feeding to daycare--or, I can take it one day at a time and not borrow trouble. Trying (against my nature) to do the latter. Eek!

I know that I will at least try to breast feed and I'll be taking a class closer to my due date and working with the hospital's lactation consultant. Other than that, I'm not sure what else to do except just worry about crossing that bridge when I come to it.

Mustardseed2007 · December 2013

I like how you say you want to, but you wish you didn't have to. I feel exactly the same way.

I FF Ds and it really worked well for us, and I wouldn't change a thing about that either. I'm dreading BFing this one, but I think I'm going to try. I like the 6 week plan someone mentioned.

It sounds more doable.

CurlieWhirlie · December 2013

Pumping totally sucks (haaa, see what I did there??) but not wanting to pump does NOT mean you have to give up on breastfeeding! When DS was 8 months old I started a new job, and I didn't want to pump in a new office when I was still learning the position, etc., so we decided to formula-feed during the day. But I still nursed in the morning before work and at night before bed, and anytime during the night as needed. Your body will be able to adjust to whatever your baby needs. I worried that I'd be full to bursting during the day because I wasn't pumping, but my supply regulated itself and adjusted to the new routine. It's really amazing what our bodies can do.

fourthnlast · December 2013

JennieCBBC said:

Any STM's have any good references to read on breasfeeding that might be helpful to some of us FTM's?

www.kellymom.com I'll be really sad if that website no longer exists.

snmetz7 · December 2013

the women in my family have all had very little to no supply. so my hopes are not high. I want to, if I can and I will try but if it doesn't work for me and my family, I'm not going to be butt hurt about you. You have to make the right decision for you and your family. Has your hubs said why he is so set on you BF? Maybe talk to him about your anxiety. also side note...and I hate to be that person, but this is the 2nd time today I've seen you miss spell the same word twice today, so just as an fyi its "circumstance"

RebeccaY1 · December 2013

I'm nervous about it because I worry about relying so much on one way to feed. I don't like to have all my eggs in one basket. I also don't like being pushed into something, especially the whole breastfeeding in public thing. I don't have body issues, but I'm not comfortable pulling my breasts out in public. I've lived a whole life of being told to cover them with bras, swimsuits, shirts, and now being told to pop them out just doesn't work for me. I could care less what other people think, it's my body and only I can determine what is right for me. You should do what's right for you.

AmberLiz99 · December 2013

snmetz7 said:

also side note...and I hate to be that person, but this is the 2nd time today I've seen you miss spell the same word twice today, so just as an fyi its "circumstance"

Sorry about the spelling. Typing on my phone an being dyslexic lead to the occasional mess up. Not something I'm proud of.

myschlove · December 2013

Here is a fantastic article on getting your milk off to a good start. The la leache league (sp?) :)has some really good tips on breast-feeding!!!

Even though I breast-fed the first time I'm still reading up and I'm still learning new things! It's okay to not know what you're doing… No one really knows what they're doing

lol

https://www.llli.org/nb/nbjulaug05p142.html

snmetz7 · December 2013

@lalamama81 thanks i'll have to look into that.

nessabeers · December 2013

Yes, in fact I have a breast feeding class tonight for future and current mothers of twins in our community and I am nervous and excited at the same time! Glad I am not the only one..

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