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Overheard on Black Friday

MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member
in Special Needs

I was out shopping on Black Friday and standing in front of a toy display trying to determine if a single thing there would interest DS for more than 5 minutes. I was about to conclude that no, nothing would, when I overheard a woman telling her friend that she was having such a hard time finding a gift for her nephew who has autism, and she joked that she may as well just buy him a flashlight and a ceiling fan. I just burst into tears. I'm not the type to do this at all, and I had to walk away and compose myself. I think the pressure of the holiday got to me. I had a rough time over the weekend dealing with my usually well-intentioned but uninformed parents. DS was actually in pretty good spirits for most of the trip but my Dad still took every opportunity to point out how I was parenting poorly or express disappointment (e.g. Doesn't he ride a bike yet? No? *sigh, shaking head* Probably because he spends all his time inside playing ipad games."). I tried to share with my mom what I overheard in the store but she only proceeded to lecture me that DS doesn't play with toys because we let him play with the Ipad too much. Of course, there may be an ounce of truth in what she says, but she really doesn't understand how hard it can be when your kid has never "played" like other kids.

Okay pity party over! Just had to share.

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Re: Overheard on Black Friday

  • typesettypeset member
    Ugh. I'm so sorry.
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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    I'm sorry you overheard that :(. And nothing like having your parents tell you what you're doing wrong. I went to therapy this morning to unload all of my post-parental visit frustration.
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    I'm sorry. :(
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Assembly_ReqdAssembly_Reqd member
    Hugs. I'm sorry, too.
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  • MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member
    edited December 2013
    -auntie- said:
     
    While I don't agree with your dad, I do know that for DS removing his special interest did result in a new found ability to find fun in other activities. It was a huge leap of faith. Have you ever tried to make the iPad go away for a week or two to see if he's grown to the point he could learn to play? FWIW, when I shared my concerns with DS's psych that left without trains DS would be a huge PITA he gave me no sympathy- he basically told me to suck it up, it wasn't about me. Still pisses me off.
     
    Truth. It probably wouldn't bother me if I thought the comment was completely meritless. We have pulled the Ipad at various parts of the day and yes, he does eventually pick up his K'nex or legos out of sheer boredom. Sometimes I have to set a timer and say "You have to play with something for 30 minutes before you can have the ipad back" when really it should be the other way around. I think I'm in a little bit of denial, he does use the Ipad a lot, but not that much, imho. Maybe I'm delusional though. On weekdays he is on it maybe an hour a day, tops, because he simply doesn't have time for it. Weekends are where we fall off the wagon- he has it several hours a day while I'm busy doing other things. He has stopped napping on the weekends too and that quiet time has been replaced with Ipad or TV time. All of this was amplified by a long, freezing cold holiday weekend at my parents house, where there is nothing to do but take short ventures outside. My Dad should talk, he watched at least 12 hours of the Walton's and Bonanza over the course of the weekend.
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  • mommyof4boysmommyof4boys member
    I hear you! My mother told me that I don't allow the boys to get outside to play enough.  In the summer Matthew passes out if it's too hot.  It's too cold right now.  She got upset because I didn't know about some thing the NFL is doing about kids need 60 minutes of play outside a day.  I know the kids need to play; I'm not going outside when it's too cold which it is right now.  I had not heard her term...she does this all the time though.  She got upset once because I didn't know the reading term she was using.  It is a term used in her district and not elsewhere but "You're a reading specialist and you have never heard of the h brothers?"  

    I added a bunch of educational apps to the ipad so the boys have to play them before they get to angry birds, etc.  My battle is having DH go along with it.  He lets the boys watch Dr. Who and play video games all day when I'm not around.
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