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Joint Legal Custody

Banana44Banana44 member
in Blended Families
I have a quick question about joint legal custody.  My DH has both joint physical and legal custody.  Here is my question, If 1 parent wants to pull the child from school for 3 days to take a "mini-vacation" would the parents have to agree?  Or can the parent do what they want as long as it is on their custody time?  What are your opinions?
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Re: Joint Legal Custody

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    Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    If the CO does not state to the contrary and it is not against the law to miss school for unexcused days then they can.  I absolutely think the parent should notify the other parent even if last minute though because all parents have a right to know their child is not in school, and my school often calls me and sends me texts and emails (yes, calls to both phones plus a text and email!) even after I notify them that my child is absent.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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    CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    I strongly agree with @Littlejen22 here.  Anytime a child misses school (illness, Dr Appt, vacation, etc) the other parent should be given a heads up.  It's just common courtesy.  Even with intact families, mom notifies Dad if Little Bobby is staying home from school for the sniffles.  Even if BM doesn't return the courtesy, it's always better to be the bigger person.
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    Banana44Banana44 member
    I agree the other parent should know - my issue is - can the other parent veto based on joint legal custody.

    If there are severely bad grades, or if the parent wants to pull them just days after the 2 week Christmas Break.

    Would joint legal custody mean that both parents have to agree to allow the child to miss several days of school for a vacation?
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    CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Without looking at your CO, I don't know if the other parent can veto.  You'll have to look at the CO or consult an attorney.

    I think if there are bad grades involved, the kid shouldn't be missing school PERIOD.  Clearly the kid needs to be in class and studying.  If my kids had bad grades, we wouldn't be going on vacations.  I'd be making them study or spend time with a tutor.
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    SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    No, I do not think the other parent would have to agree. If it's your time you can do what you want really.

    If one parent is habitually allowing the child to miss school if can be documented and be used as for reasons that parent shouldn't have school night visitation.
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    fellesferiefellesferie member
    I have to say no, one parent cannot veto the other. If XH wanted to pull DS out and I disagreed, I would try to go "on record" disagreeing with the decision. I would also document any fall out (failing a test or missing assignments), and use it against him if/when we landed back in court.

    Then I would otherwise just try to mitigate the damage the best I could. I'd get assignments in advance, have him do extra reading, and just generally try to do the best we could.
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    KTdiditKTdidit member
    Agree with @SimpleJane and @fellesferie.  I don't think you can stop it, but definitely document that you are disagreeing with the decision and why. 
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    NineoceansNineoceans member
    Banana44 said:

    I have a quick question about joint legal custody.  My DH has both joint physical and legal custody.  Here is my question, If 1 parent wants to pull the child from school for 3 days to take a "mini-vacation" would the parents have to agree?  Or can the parent do what they want as long as it is on their custody time?  What are your opinions?

    Bm did this, our attorney said we could take her to court and try to block it or let it go. We are kind of over throwing money in the toilet so we let it go
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    Banana44Banana44 member
    edited December 2013
    Thanks. 
    We don't want to take the vacation away from him, and we won't take her to court.  
    It just is horrible for SS because she has winter break to take him somewhere or her next custody weekend following her trip he has a half day Friday and off Monday so he would only miss 1 day of school.
    I just know he will fall drastically behind in his classes and especially math.  He barely pulled a C in 3 of his classes and he only did because his teacher keep letting him take re-tests.

    Anyway - DH will let her know he doesn't think this is a good idea and why and suggest an alternative date that won't affect SS so much.  But it will fall upon deaf ears!

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    MommyEllenSueMommyEllenSue member
    DH's CO specifically says that both parents have to agree to child missing school for unexcused absences. But it only says that because there were some major issues with BM always pulling kids out. He had it added in last time we were in court. Until it specifically said that all he could do was make it known to BM that he was not in agreement and then document.
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