Need weaning advice

Re: Need weaning advice

• Emerald27 member

  December 2013 edited December 2013

  @rs_bride, I'm so sorry you're in this position. First, have you looked into alternative medications and treatments? It might be worth putting in a call to the Infant Risk Center at Texas Tech University: (806)-352-2519. https://www.infantrisk.com/. They are the experts in medication and compatibility with pregnancy, lactation, etc., and take calls Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm. It may be that the medication you need isn't actually L3, or that there are alternatives that your doctor hasn't even heard of. It's just a thought, as one more option to try before beginning the weaning process. 

  
  

  Gradual weaning is gentlest and the usual recommendation is to drop no more than one session at a time, and to drop only one session per week (at least). So if your daughter is nursing 4x per day, it will take approximately one month to wean her. It's also recommended to allow for setbacks, because regressions do happen (babies teethe or get sick, or need to nurse more for one reason or another) and it often takes a little longer to wean gently/compassionately. If you need to begin a medication regimen very very soon, there are methods of weaning faster than this. PM me if you would like some more resources and information on weaning. 

  
  

  Keep in mind during the weaning process that nursing is a huge sign of affection for babies. You'll need to discover new and different ways, and many of them, for showing your affection for DD while you wean. It's easy to forget to snuggle in place of nursing, because when sessions are dropped, we're no longer having to take the time to sit down and share that special time with her. It's especially tough when we have other LOs. 

  
  

  Drop the least important session (to your daughter) first. This might be her morning session or after nap. Either drop it all at once and offer something very special and fun in its place, or drop it gradually by reducing the amount of time she nurses for that session little by little until it disappears. Some mothers do this by singing a song while they nurse and telling baby that she can nurse until the song is over. Then they sing a little faster each day, until baby barely nurses at all. Others do this by counting to a certain number with baby while she nurses, and then counting faster or to a lower number. 

  
  

  This works for some babies, and stresses others out. You'll just have to see if she does ok with it. Some babies will begin to cry and beg mama not to sing or count. This method just doesn't work for them, and in this case, mama watching the clock herself and ending sessions after a few minutes (gently) and offering something special in its place, works better. The mother can shorten the time as she feels comfortable and as she thinks her baby can handle it. Just see what works for your LO, and proceed with weaning compassionately.

  
  

  My heart breaks for you being in this position. I was in a similar position about a year and a half ago when DS was 10 months old. I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease and discovered that I was allergic to anti-thyroid medication. My doctor told me that my only option was to undergo radioactive iodine treatment to obliterate my thyroid, and that I would have to wean immediately (and be separated from DS for 23 days). I was crushed, cried for a few days, and then started researching. I found that some people with my medication allergy had refused radioactive iodine and opted for surgery instead. My doctor refused to refer me to a surgeon, told me I was crazy for wanting to continue breastfeeding, and told me that no surgeon would operate on me. I found another doctor, was referred for a total thyroidectomy, and a year ago this past October, had my thyroid totally removed. I was separated from DS for all of 5 hours, nursed him immediately after surgery, and even coslept with him in the hospital. I am left with a scar that is a reminder of my struggle. It's a happy reminder, though, because through it I was given the gift of breastfeeding DS until he self-weans: 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I know how it feels to be in a position in which your breastfeeding relationship is totally threatened by a health problem. I've cried myself to sleep over it and have felt totally helpless. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and that there might not be an alternative for you as there was for me. You're welcome to PM me as you go through the weaning process if you would like support and encouragement. 

  
  

  Know that whatever you must do, your DD will know of your boundless love for her, and someday she will learn of the great sacrifice you are making for her by weaning her. It's such an enormous gift you're giving her in taking good care of yourself.

  
  

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• rs_bride member

  December 2013

  Thank you so much for your reply. I'm so glad it worked out for you. Unfortunately, though there are several medicines I can try, none are any safer than others--all L3 or worse. Taking a month or a little more to wean is fine. I don't need to do it any more quickly than that, but I do need to make progress toward that end. Nursing for another 10+ months isn't in the cards for us. I just don't know where to start. She doesn't have a favorite nursing session. They're ALL her favorites. She gets so excited when she realizes she's about to get her "bub" it just kills me to say no. I'll try cutting down on the time perhaps, though the only time she nurses more than 5 minutes at a time is first thing in the morning. Thanks and I may take you up on your offer to PM you as I go through the process.

  DS born 5/25/09 BFP #2 10/25/11, m/c 11/5/11 BFP #3 1/20/11 EDD 10/1/11

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• Emerald27 member

  December 2013

  You could try a few days of wearing pretty covering clothing so they're less easy to get to and don't offer to nurse at all, but don't refuse when she asks. That may show you what feeding is least important, because she might forget about it for a bit or even forget about it altogether. Doing a week or two of "don't offer, don't refuse" would be a very gentle way to begin the weaning process, if you have the time. Then you can seamlessly begin a more controlled mama-led weaning approach. Best of luck!

  
  

  
  

  

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• TiffanyBerry member

  December 2013

  And talk to her about it.  Start talking to her about how mommy needs to take medicine that means you can't nurse.  She won't entirely get it, but she might understand more than you expect.

  
  

  

  

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