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Timing of 2nd Child....

snok83snok83 member
in Two Under 2
Okay, my daughter is 7 months old.  My husband and I are starting to think about when we would like to try for our 2nd.  Our first child was born in April so it worked perfectly as I work for a school.  So I was able to take my maternity leave for 2 months and then have the whole summer to spend with her. We would like to start trying around the same time frame for our 2nd.    Though we are trying to figure out if we want to try this coming summer or next.  I am 30 years old so one of my worries is waiting too long and then having problems either w/ child or conceiving, etc.   Though, this summer seems so soon!   Didn't know if anyone had thoughts on if there were big differences between a newborn with a 2 or 3 year old.  And if one would have major advances over another.  
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Re: Timing of 2nd Child....

  • drcolleendrcolleen member
    I have no answers for you but my first 2 are 2y9mo apart and pros = DD1's potty training was already well underway, DD1 was helpful and understood everything.  My second 2 are a few weeks shy of 2 yrs apart and cons = DD2 is still in diapers only telling us as she poops, DD2 is still self centered (normal for 23mo) so can't wait or be patient and is on the verge of a hissy fit if she doesn't get her way sometimes (I remember DD1 screaming around age 2, I hope we don't see that w/ DD2!).  I don't think either spacing is bad, just different.  Both were the "closest spacing" we could have had though - d/t lactational amenorrhea (and between 1 and 2 there were 2 miscarriages) - so that may play a role in your timing if you are breastfeeding.   All in all I wouldn't change anything and remember it can take a while to get pregnant.
    5/08- blighted ovum, spont ab; 2/20/09- epi, VAVD, Girl! breastfed 24mo; 10/10- blighted ovum, spon ab; 12/10- no fetal pole, Cytotec; 11/20/11- unmedicated SVD, Girl! breastfed 18mo; 11/7/13- unmedicated SVD, breastfed 18mo; 2/11/16- unmedicated SVD, exclusively pumping to at least a year.

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  • mommymegan831mommymegan831 member
    mine are 25 months apart, so I just missed being 2 under 2.  Even just over 2, it was rough.  There were many times I remember the two of them laying there screaming and I didn't know who to pick up 1st.  DD potty trained when DS was about 6 weeks.  Somehow every day DS would be mid bottle when DD woke up from her nap.  She always got upset when I fed him plus she wakes up cranky, so she'd be screaming on the floor and since she had just woke up, always wound up wetting herself and getting more upset.  There were way too many times I had to rock DS in a bouncy seat while holding DD or holding the bottle for him while he was propped up on the bumbo and DD was sitting on my lap.  
    Now at 3 DD is so much fun and we can do so much together, but I have to be very selective about where I can take 1 year old and 3 year old.  It was so easy to do things with DS when he'd sleep in a stroller or a carrier.  But, even with all that said, I love how close they are, they do so much together now, I even find their fights sweet.  I think 3 years apart would have been 100 times easier, but I think 2 years apart might be funnier, if you enjoy chaos.
    All that said too, if you got pregnant tomorrow you'd be due around September, so havent you already missed your opportunity for a spring baby?  I think you're trying to plan this out too much. 
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