Moms with toddlers, little help please.

SNOakes · December 2013

So I've been pretty sick since about 5 weeks pg. I have a 2 1/2 yo son. I try very hard to not tell him that I'm sick or don't feel good, but lets face it, they know. Well, last night was a bad night for me and after I got sick he asked what's wrong. So I told him, "mommy just doesn't feel good right now." And of course, being the age he is, he asks "why" a million times. I said, "because sometimes when mommies have a baby in their tummy it makes them feel yucky for a little while, but it's ok because I will be just fine." Well when I picked him up from daycare his teacher said he was acting very moody this afternoon and wanted to lay down and was saying he didn't feel good. He has no temp, no runny nose, nothing visibly wrong. On the ride home I asked him what doesn't feel good, he said "I just don't feel good" and when I asked why he said "cause I have a baby in my tummy." This is what I was scared of. Anyone delt with this? I don't want him to do this for obvious reasons but mostly because I won't know when he actually doesn't feel good. How do I convince him he doesn't have a baby in his tummy and not to say he doesn't feel good unless its true, other than say just that, because I did, and he didn't believe me. Should I worry?

raeg13 · December 2013

I wouldn't worry about it at all. I also have a 2 1/2 yr old and he has also told me he doesn't feel good just because he knows I don't. I'm sure it will pass and he will forget about it soon.

ns1 · December 2013

That stinks! DD is just over 2 and a little confused herself. In our house none of our bathroom doors lock, so DD's walked in on me getting sick. One time she knelt over her potty like I was doing. Ugh...talk about feeling like you've traumatized the kid. But she seems fine now.

I think they just try to understand It in their own way. Just keep explaining it at his level as much as possible and he'll at least get it when the baby is here. I think as long as you're helping him try to grasp it that's the most you can do. Maybe get some picture books from the library to help, but I wouldn't stress too much!

julesf817 · December 2013

aw that's kinda adorable that he says he has a baby in his tummy.

i don't have a toddler so take this as you will, but maybe if you tell him only Mommies can have baby's in their tummy, and little boys can't?

SNOakes · December 2013

Thanks so much ladies. I think you are all correct, it will pass it time. I sometimes feel so guilty about being so sick and not giving him the attention I used to be able to. I feel bad if I feel like he's asking for attention at ALL. But I think they also just like to mimic. Thanks for making me feel better!

usernewname · December 2013

I wouldn't worry, kids process things out loud and he's probably also concerned but can't really say he is like we adults do. But I also wouldn't draw attention to it either.

I hope you feel better soon!

hsal · December 2013

My daughter is doing the same thing. She's 2.5 and she does everything from copying vomiting to actually putting a doll under her shirt. she keeps telling her daycare teacher that there's a baby in her tummy and then pulling up her shirt to show her teacher!

the hardest thing has been that she wants to be a baby again, asking to help feed her and wants to be rocked! Its crazy!

TheBeeCharmer · December 2013

I agree with everyone else. He will move on once the novelty wears off. My 3 year old is now saying she has a baby in her belly too, but nothing about not feeling well. Hope you're feeling better!

SNOakes · December 2013

the hardest thing has been that she wants to be a baby again, asking to help feed her and wants to be rocked! Its crazy!

Oh no! I thought this would happen once the baby gets here, but already? Yikes

Laura_Elaine · December 2013

I have actually never had this problem... and I have a 3.5 yo son, a 2 yo daughter, and a 1 yo daughter. I don't have bad ms at all, but if/when I do get sick, my DS is very compassionate and pats my back, or my leg, or whatever and says "you'll be okay." He does ask why I'm sick, and I tell him because of the baby in my belly... but only mommies can have babies in their belly.

I'd say it's time for a brief, age-appropriate discussion of how babies are made, why he can't have a baby in his belly, and the like.

Teneniel · December 2013

He is probably processing it, totally age appropriately. Check out Playful Parenting, and it goes into how kids incorporate the stuff they're processing in their play. It's actually really good he's doing this!

SNOakes · December 2013

@Teneniel, is this a book? I will check it out.

MissLadyTay · December 2013

I would ignore him or say something like "oh gosh, I'm sorry, mommy is going through the same thing and it's no fun." This is common toddler behavior. If he persists for more than a few daya I would tell him sick people have to go to bed early. Calling my son's bluff is effective 90% of the time.

pistolpackinmomma · December 2013

I just want to add that maybe you should clue in the daycare teacher as to what he has said and explain you've been sick so they don't freak out.

meli1025 · December 2013

Normal toddler behavior. This is a pic of my son who is 3, with one of his plastic bowls under his shirt telling me it was a baby in his belly. I wouldn't worry too much. Have you tried reading any books about becoming a big brother to him? It helps to explain things in the best way that he can understand.

dollface777 · December 2013

My DD is only a little over a year and a half so she doesn't know what's going on very much yet. But I have a big scar on my knee that she sometimes sees and I tell her its an owie. She then proceeds to tell me she has an owie on her knee, finger, nose, ear... I just kiss them better and tell her its all better.
Maybe just acknowledge that he "feels sick" and then tell him that its all better or that it will get better and then try to move on to another topic.

Richelpedersen · December 2013

My DD walks around gagging just like mommy.. Oh toddlers. I just laugh and leave it at that. I don't know if she does it at daycare or not.

avalei · December 2013

my 2yo also tells me she has a baby in her tummy

I generally tell her "Not now, but maybe someday when you're big like mommy you will." She hasn't tried telling me she doesn't feel good, but she has (and my husband and I both just about fell over laughing) leaned over the toilet going "huh! Huh! Huh!" like she's throwing up.

I'd go with a "this too shall pass" mentality - gentle reminder about only saying sick when you're actually sick, but then just ignore it. Pretty cute when they show something like sympathy!

jenb_99 · December 2013

It's normal and actually a good developmental sign that he's mimicking you. As for figuring out whether he actually feels sick or is just pretending, do what you did before he learned to communicate and just observe him. I can't speak for all toddlers, but it is very clear when my DS doesn't feel well. Sick DS is distinctly different from tired, frustrated, and/or cranky DS.

manderdoll · December 2013

My almost 3 year old has "nursed" his favourite stuffy for at least a year now after watching me nurse his brother and a couple friends nurse their babies. He does it very rarely anymore but he used to need my pillow, a foot stool and receiving blanket. I think it's so sweet, of course we won't let him think this is ok forever, he's still so little and innocent and I see nothing wrong with it right now.

lharbin85 · December 2013

My 2.5 year old has had 14-15 weeks of watching me throw up all around- bathrooms, kitchen sink, bathroom sunk, bushes, puke bags- you name it I've puked there. She will every once I a while say her tummy hurts but I just tell her "it's ok sometimes our tummy's hurt but it goes away!" She imitates me throwing up ALL the time and says "I throw up too mommy" but I just say ok and try not to give her too much attention about it! I think it's normal! I would not worry!!!

Teneniel · December 2013

@SNOakes yes it is! I'm sorry I'm slow to reply. I don't log in every day. My facebook habit is bad enough, and I'm trying to cut back my internet usage!

buggywhips · December 2013

I wouldn't worry. My 2 year old isn't very expressive yet so I haven't had to deal with anything life that...but if you ask him where's the baby at he does lift his shirt up and point at his belly.

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Moms with toddlers, little help please.

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