:(.... Thinking of how far along I'm supposed to be

irons633 · December 2013

I should be 36 weeks today, with 56 days to go and I'm not. I found myself thinking a lot about Olivia and how i am supposed to be really round now and preparing for her arrival. Instead I'm thinking about another ornament for my baby I don't have and also this would be EJ's first Christmas. I'm just so mad and hurt!!!! Instead of being happy about being pregnant all I have to look forward to is an MFM appt on the 20th to hopefully find out what I don't have my babies!!!! This shit is just not fair and I'm f***ing mad!!!! I just want to feel my baby girl moving again inside me

I know that this pain doesn't go away but just gets easier to deal but I'm now dealing with an EDD coming up in Jan 14th as well as not having my son to share his first Christmas with.

stefuge · December 2013

I do this sort of thing all the time - and I just feel so over it all sometimes! Every time I look at my mom of an angel bracelet I feel so sad. I want so much more than this bracelet. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with so many painful milestones all at once. The pain just shows how much you love your little ones. ((Hugs)) and I hope the pain becomes more bearable.

CRUN2012 · December 2013

I hear you and I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm glad though that you are allowing yourself to have these feelings and you are using a healthy outlet such as this board to help. You are a very strong woman despite these bad days. Keep going girl!

kz's_girlygirl · December 2013

The whole situation just sucks!! I get angry sometimes too- ornaments, bracelets, memory boxes and photos just aren't even close to enough. I am so sorry

I hope your appointment at least gives you some information and helps a little bit with the "why's" (Although I know nothing will ever help!!)

irons633 · December 2013

Thank you ladies!! I just have this anger and I'm truly pissed!!! I also have the momentos but I would so much rather just like us all to have my babies. I have my IRL group tonight and I have a lot to get off my chest. Thank you ladies for being here for me!! Love and hugs to you all!!

BrittianyM · December 2013

You have every right to be peed off. I am peed off for all of us! Nothing will ever make this right. Hugs to you!

irons633 · December 2013

Thank you @BrittanyM!!

diamante1181 · December 2013

I get this. I found myself thinking the same things this past week. This coming weekend is my "supposed to have been" baby shower weekend, and it just makes me so sad. I, too, wish I could feel my Gabe and Sophie moving around. Hugs and love to you, friend.